Dear Ilites, I need to make sense of what I'm going through.... I thought of posting here as I value your suggestions.. I have been married for 5 years almost 6 now. We live in the UAE. Ours was a love marriage. We have a 3 and half year old daughter. Problems in my marriage started when I was pregnant after a year & half. My husband is the only child. I never knew his family that well. It was only during the pregnancy that my MIL came and I was able to read her character. My pregnancy was high risk. I was put on complete bed rest. Anyway I had seen a bit of her character during our wedding as she was concerned about caste etc. Anyway, lots of things happened during that time & my mother had to come etc. He also raised his hand on me during the 7th month. My mother did not take this lying down. she gave him strong words. Finally, after my delivery my mom had to leave our house as she could not bear his behaviour. After this he put a condition: if i want to be in this marriage stop contact with my family. During this time I was affected by his behaviour and I went into a depression. I knew something was wrong. when i tried to tell him, he would say I need to change my behaviour. Otherwise people will talk accordingly. I followed with this condition. After a while I got a job and he started harrassing me about my salary. Mind you this coming from him. He is doing very well. We dont even have to spend on our accommodation (v r based in the Gulf). He works at a top post for an oil co. My salary was nothing compared to his. Anyway, I offered him various suggestions such as we can put a certain amt towards joint savings etc or I can spend for household expenses. However, he was adamant I put my salary away for saving & to borrow money from him. when we went down to India I would fight as I would want to see my family. He would allow me to see them for 5 days. also when we would fight he would not talk to me for 5-6 days. He would not look at our daughter. He would not eat at home or pick her from the babysitter. this was very traumatic as I did not have any family to speak to and I did not want to bring my parents in the picture again. In 2010 when we went down to India he was fighting with me for my salary. He and his parents came chasing after me. Finally I relented & told him to take it and do what he wants with it. When I do things according to his ways he likes it. Otherwise he does not support me. However, mentally I was still in depression...I kept on going on somehow..for the sake of my daughter. He would be nice to us..if things are done his way...but the minute I put my foot down he would put all blame on me. He would say I need to change. At the end of 2011 all my money I had put in our joint account. But he never put any of his money in it. He would only spend for the grocery shopping. He was happy when I did this. that year we went down to India and I told a family friend how I have not been coping very well when I went to my mother's place. I went to see a therapist and was diagnosed with postnatal depression. she suggested to come for therapy sessions. when I went back to my inlaws place I told my husband I need to go to the doctor. He assumed it was a gynae or something. Along the way I told him I'm seeing a psychiatrist. He was quiet but he accompanied me for the sessions. My daughter was kept home with the inlaws. After a few weeks we left back to the UAE. I really thought that my husband was supporting me. Back in the UAE I lost my job. I thought this was for the best. I decided to make changes for myself...doing things that I loved before marriage etc. concentrating on our daughter etc. I told him I need some money for myself (to join gym, classes, etc). He started saying why do I need so much money? I had asked for 2000/- He said he doesnt trust me...I maybe sending money to my parents! He suggested using the cr card. After this he stopped talking to me...it continued for a month. No talking, no eating, no buying grocery, little interaction with daughter, during weekends he would go out with colleagues or relatives...I started using the cr card. But he blocked this too! It was like he was torturing me slowly...waiting for me to have a breakdown... Again after a month I patiently tried to ask him what he want's from this marriage. He said I have a problem in the marriage. I am not well mentally. I need psychiatric assessment & that he has been recording our fights! I did not keep quiet for him. I had enough of it. He started taking our daughter out after the fight (something which he has never done since she was born) I suspected something fishy. also, he would always hide her passport. when he went out with her I found her pport in his bag. when he came back he went to look straight for the pport! I knew then his intentions were not good..After he had gone out I took my daughter & left for Europe (my siblings reside there). And he hasn't called since...at least to enquire about his daughter? I find his behaviour very confusing. He is very nice to us when everything is done his way. But the minute there is defiance from my side he starts harrassing me. also, though my MIL would not live with us...he is constantly in touch with her. The minute he speaks to her he is different. He is also heavily influenced by his aunt & cousin. Infact the MIL has said in the past she has every right to interfere in her sons marriage. I find two sides to him...firstly he is controlling, abusive and secondly he can't let go of the apron strings.... What would you'll suggest? to go for a separation? I still love him..but how can love work if there is no trust & understanding... Need your suggestions... I have kept this as brief as possible.