Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by MonikaSG, Dec 17, 2017.
You are a mature 24 yr old ! I hope you are my DIL in my next life ! I promise not to trouble you !
@ nylaa you are right. Giving our views means making the things complicated. She is living with me is the positive thing and I am not proved a bad one. Either I too must have some qualities that make her live with me.
@Sandycandy you are right. I should not say anything bitter. No one can take that no matter how correct we are saying. Will try to focus on myself.
Thank you for understanding.
Aww, thank you! You're too kind.
Ironically, the advice to @MonikaSG above about not stressing over the small things comes from interacting with my own mom. My mom is a bit old school and has a slight touch of that "I am right" personality. *Shakes my head *
Example: She came over recently and I was showing her something in our bedroom. She notices that we have a couple of plants in there and she tells me that it's bad to have plants in the bedroom where you sleep because *insert random Punjabi superstition that I can't recall* and that I should move them. I moved them ....... and, when she went home, proceeded to put them back where they were. If I had told her otherwise, we would have had a long, complicated, fruitless conversation about the appropriate location for house plants. Sometimes you have to pick your battles.
Plants put out CO2 at night and Oxygen in the day time. Carbon di oxide is heavier than air, and just hangs around when there is no ventilation (like a closed room). When people sleep outdoors, it is not a good idea to sleep under a large, leafy tree. People are known to have a choking feeling when sleeping under large trees, especially trees like Neem or Murunga. This is what has spawned the belief that there are ghosts in those trees and they come down to disturb/kill the sleepers at night. Nightmares, and waking up with a sweat, are also common in such sleeping arrangements. Young moms are advised never to hang a baby hammock on a branch of that tree at night, but doing that in daytime is highly recommended. However, if there is a little houseplant in a bedroom, the plant's breathing output of CO2 is not a big concern, because these don't put out as much CO2 as the sleepers themselves-- especially if they are also doing some amorous callisthenics in the night.
Your mom's Punjabi superstition has a scientific basis for use in camping trips, but not in your home.
I read your post again. You understood everything so clearly and explained everything nicely. I appreciate your level of understanding. Thank you.
I am new to this forum. I hope to find help from you all.
I stay outside india with my husband and baby.
We are planning to visit india soon. The problem comes here.
My inlaws stay in a remote place "X" . There is a city nearby their place with limited air access.
My parents stay in a city "Y" which is well connected .
We do not have a direct flight from our place to my inlaws place. We have direct connectivity to city "Y".
if we have to go to my inlaws place, either we need to wait at the "y" airport for more than 4 hours or we need to take a cab.
My inlaws are insisting that we come directly to their place no matter what.My parents are feeling bad that going directly to my inlaws place by staying at the airport or taking cab,specially when we are coming to city "y" and yet not going to their place.
I personally feel that my baby should not get tired. After a long travel, another cab travel or a wait at the airport doesn't seem to be a viable option for me.
We had gone to my parents place initially for a day during our last visit and my in laws created a big ruckus.
So my husband says that this time he doesn't want any issue and do as my inlaws say.
I am totally in a dilemma.
Sorry for the long post/confusing post. Awaiting for your replies.
Have parents come and stay in a hotel near the airport Y.
When you get to Y, relieve yourselves of the suitcases, and rest in the hotel for however many hours that is possible.
Then take clothes, baby things, and whatever else you need for the short-stay at the remote X, and travel light. Don't worry; baby will sleep in the taxi.
Doing this you'd achieve a couple of things
Thwart inlaws from poking into your suitcases to find out what gifts (if any) you had brought from Amreeka to your siblings and your parents. They will see only the gifts you had brought for them, and therefore you'd avoid comparison gripes.
You would travel light, which is always a good thing for a family with baby.
From next time if you are coming on 2nd then tell them you will reach by 3rd or 4th. Convince your husband for that if you can.
great! yr in laws are lucky to have you! self-examination will always elevate one! all the best ! be positive and be courtesous! you will hae a smooth and happy life ! and make others happy! Whatever you do if do it for the satisfaction of inner self, final success is yours! again Kudos!
Thanks for appreciating and wishing for me.