drinking habit is good or bad??

You can as you wish no harm its your life you have full freedom to make your life colourful as like.

No harm to keep on preaching to follow good habit lol...

i am not saying that you are in bad habit lol .

 

Drinking is a personal choice. After marriage both the spouse need to understand and respect each other's choices in life, and learn to adjust or adapt it accordingly. That is the key of happy and successful marriage.

Drinking in moderation is good for health. The limit is the key here. Some people were brought up as if touching alcohol is a taboo. Some people even think if a small sip of alcohol could make them drunk. These are their own mental block against alcohol... and that is not good when they opt for a social life out from their own comfort zone. Your case looks the same here.

However, drinking at home with family members is the best. Occational drinks with friends or in parties are okay, but that can lead to problems if that happens so frequently. That too it is highly a matter of concern when wrong friends are chosen. The safe mode is to give your spouse some company at home for his casual drinking, whether it is daily or weekly. That will eventually help you to build a happy home.

You don't have to drink if you really hate it.. But you can still make some chips and offer him a company with some cokes. Try to bring your H within your wings, instead of getting out of his wings.

 

@SGBV

I don't think drinking in moderation is "good" for health. It is merely tolerated by the body.Today one may think 30 ml is moderation and tomorrow 120 ml may be moderation. The body adapts and one's moderation level also increases. Alcohol has no real benefits as such..

 

It is your opinion, and I respect that.

But what the medical sources says is different from your own personal opinion. That is what I advised the OP.

It Can Lower Your Risk Of Cardiovascular Disease
It Can Lengthen Your Life
It Can Improve Your Libido
It Helps Prevent Against the Common Cold
It Can Reduce the Risk Of Gallstones
Lowers the Chance Of Diabetes

The above facts are from the medical researches, and you can find similar results from various trusted sources through real or on-line medical professionals.

Moderation can not vary person to person or time to time. There should be a limit. Anything beyond that limit is harmful. But just because too much of alcohol is harmful, the very fact of consuming alcohol shouldn't be termed as a taboo. JMO

It is like this... Myth: Papaya and pine apple are harmful for the pregnancy
Reality is, Papaya and pine apple are really good for healthy pregnancy; thus it should be consumed in moderation. But too much papaya, something like 20 papayas per day is harmful. See, just because 20 papayas per day is harmful, how many of us totally neglect this healthy fruit called papaya during pregnancy? Alcohol is also like that... Our myths and lack of social education form certain opinion in us. In fact, this type of myth or opinions are really harmful for a healthy social living

 

It is a poison, it is up to u . u choose sudden death or slow death by having habit of drinking

 

Hi @SGBV

Does anyone consume alcohol to reduce the risk of diabetes or reduce common cold or lower risk of cardio vascular disease. When I was around 6, I had a severe allergy issue and cold. The doctor recommended 1-2 tsp of brandy in a glass of warm water. Surely that cannot be even classified as "drinking".

Further, I agree that this is my opinion and definitely you are entitled to yours. We are just having a discussion.

Further, I do agree about the limit part but then my question is that is alcohol so important that we have a discussion running to 6 pages. If OP is not comfortable with her husband drinking, then that is it. She is not comfortable. She can talk to her husband and he should ideally listen and try to control his drinking habit. She was definitely fine with it when he was in India, so if he controls he will be fine now. I seriously don't understand how drinking translates to social education. If I am against drinking does that mean I am not socially aware. In fact, this is how drinking starts. Everyone drinking at social gatherings and soon one also tries out and later this becomes a habit. It is not easy to limit it. Often, with company the limit keeps on increasing. I have seen this happen in my home.

My Dad had a couple of friends whom he invited once or twice for dinner. They used to get alcohol and these guys would drink. Later my dad started asking these guys for dinner once every two weeks. So my Dad would drink once in two weeks which may be quite acceptable to many but was not at all acceptable by my mom. She got around it by putting her foot down and asking my Dad to invite his friends on breakfast.
Obviously, no one will come to breakfast with alcohol.
The result - My Dad's drinking reduced. Today my Dad drinks very rarely maybe once in 6 months. So putting your foot down in some circumstances can be good. It could be what you term as lack of social education on my mother's part but then to each his own.

 

I think you have taken it too personally. I don't drink, although I love to drink (a few sips of basic alcohol like wine or beer) but due to my severe acidity issue, I don't drink anymore. My husband never drinks, but everyone in my FOO loves to drink at home as well as at social gatherings in moderation. There is no one in our circle whom we could call as drunkard though everyone loves to drink alcohol.

Having said that, OP seems to have a mental block against alcohol and she hates it. Her husband likes it, and got used to it since India times. Now that his drinking habit got increased.

The problem in hand is that OP's constant nagging against alcohol whenever her husband drinks makes him go solo or with his friend to enjoy his liking without OP. He likes his friends' wife and her support towards her drinking husband; thus OP is supper irritated like any wife would.

Lecturing about all the negatives of alcohol to a grown up, educated, adult man living in German would only be seen as nagging at this stage. Rather, OP should try reducing her husband's drinking frequency, his union with his friend (thus his wife's unwanted topic) and him being solo or being without OP mode.

She could give him a company by having a soda or coke. She could stop nagging against alcohol, but slowly reduce the frequency and surely the unwanted company.

By saying alcohol is wrong, OP is not gonna have anything better. Rather, giving her H some company and by doing it, reducing his frequency and bad company would help her marriage work.

OP's marriage is slowly breaking because of her unliking of alcohol. You see, she nags, he wants her to go to his friends' place so he could enjoy alcohol with his friends at home. She refuses, he praises his friends' wife and so on and so forth. Why lose a marriage for a few sips of alcohol? After all it is not poison. Just OP's mind block is the problem. Because, her husband doesn't seem to be a drunkard here.

I just don't buy this logic... Just because your spouse hate, you completely give up your liking.. How? Marriage is compromise for sure, but not a total sacrifice of your life.

I love coffee. I am a coffee girl... My husband hates coffee. I don't serve him coffee, but I can't stop coffee for him. He would rather never ask me to stop this. But both of us know too much of coffee could even cause cancer, leave alone acidity and other issues. I consume it in moderation. That is the respect I have for my H. We share evenings together with different drinks. Does that matter?

 

@SGBV - No yaar, I have not taken it personally at all. Maybe the written tone implied so. I will reply but right now my brain is too lazy to type out a proper response.. . Vaise, OP has vanished leaving us to bicker among ourselves.