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drinking habit is good or bad??

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by BuviVishal, Feb 1, 2015.

  1. BuviVishal

    BuviVishal Gold IL'ite

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    Dear ladies

    I am worrying about my dh drinking habit. . When we were in india he used to drink occasionally. But after moved to german he is drinking weekly.. before me he moved here don't know about his habit before my reach. .

    I totally disappointing I hates this habit. Here in Indian friend is there in front of me he drunk I hot tensed and told him that hereafter don't drink in front of me.. then he asked me to move to his friend home both his friend and him drinking at my home. ...

    He is asked me why you not able to accept this as like a his friend's wife (his friend bought many drinks bottle and kept his home. Used to drink often)

    When I asked my dh he said beer is good for health... whatever indha karumatha yethuka mudila.. how you ladies handling this??? Shuld I change my mind instead him??
     
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  2. nemesis

    nemesis Platinum IL'ite

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    equality, participation and encouragement are the hallmarks of a successful marriage.

    kindly go through this thread and get an idea where to begin with.

    And since your forum handle is not that discreet- you must be bhuvaneshwari or something like that and he must be Vishal- i would suggest you don't wash that dirty linen in public (forums).
     
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  3. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Drinking within moderation and for pleasure is not a bad thing.Beer and red wine taken in moderation are not bad.Drinking too much tea or coffee is also bad.Moderation is the key here.

    Op...looks like you have a mental block against drinking.Like some people have against non veg.May be you were brought up in a non drinking environment.

    The fact is that you married a man who likes to enjoy a few drinks .If you force him to seek drinking friends and to hide his drinking...you not only lose control over his drinking but also lose out precious time that you could spend together.

    As long as it is moderate and not a habit(meaning he can live without it)...you should not nag him.Learn to accept it as a irritant....but don't tell him not to drink in front of you.If he sees you accepting this...he may try to keep it in moderation.Most social drinkers continue to drink without it becoming a habit.

    Once in a week is not excessive drinking if he is not getting drunk.
     
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  4. sumanrathi

    sumanrathi IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi, all

    I have attached this pic. which is published in today's news paper Indian Express. After seeing this picture do you think we are capable to adopt Modern social life ??

    If a parent's are in the modern life and your kid will be as like this one day will you accept it ??

    I am posting this with heavy heart.
     

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  5. indoc

    indoc Gold IL'ite

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    @sumanrathi...
    The above picture is bad.. but do you think all those who consume alcohol, get drunk and end up like that guy? NO.. majority of people who consume alcohol drink responsibly.

    More than 1.3 lakhs die in road accidents in India.. but does this stop crores of Indians from using our roads or riding in cars? No it doesn't..

    Above picture is classic example of over-extrapolation..
     
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  6. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Children who see people in their family drink in moderation rarely ever end up like the picture above.They usually learn to drink responsibly from their elders.

    Most people who end up like that are ones who see people in their family getting drunk or who come from families who have strict rules against drinking so they hide and drink.

    too much generalization I guess...but that is my observation.I could be wrong.
     
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  7. VaniVyas

    VaniVyas Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear OP,

    I am coming from a family where people consider drinking as a bad habit. But personally I think the limitation sets the thing from right or wrong.
    I know families where father and son join occasionally for a drink for a party or a family get together. In that case, the son sees the father drinking and mom serving him snacks which means it is acceptable for a person to drink and behave normally.

    Now lets take another case where the father would drink from a bar and misbehave at home. HE then sees his mother crying and may hate drinking or feel it is good to be drunkard and behave like his father. Thus a coin has two sides.
    IT is up to an individual to decide which is best for them which again depends on the society around them, friends circle, family circle etc...
    I feel as a parent we need to show the kids what is the limit so that they will not cross the border and learn not to hide things from parents. If we start picking a stick for even smaller things they will only find ways to do things hidden.

    I think the same applies for husband wife relation also. If we try to get promises from them not to drink and start behaving differently they will be tempted to cross the line. We can very well put up this issue in a mild way and slowly start to limit the quantities.
    Again if the person has crossed all limits and has started drinking daily without limits then nothing can be done unless a severe change comes to his life.
     
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  8. sumanrathi

    sumanrathi IL Hall of Fame

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    @indoc

    Each and every father will be Hero and roll model for his Son.

    many modern and civilized countries don't follow family life but we are still stick with family bonding. If you courage to break out the family bonding you can follow modern life means you should not bother about husband and son. will you be ??


    Following devil way is easy and joyful but I am sure it will end up in Hell.

    I am not over-extrapolation - will you answer to this you will know where you are

    any one will answer if your son is in that picture will you accept ?

    @yellowmango
    @maleficent you both will accept your son as like in the pic ?
     
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  9. CrayoNess

    CrayoNess Platinum IL'ite

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    Please tell me wich countries do not follow family life?

    Addicion (be it alcohol, gambling, drugs or whatever) is a complex issue where genetics and many other factors play a big role. Taking occassionally a beer has nothing to do with it.
     
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  10. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    What kind of family bonding is so weak that it will break if father and son(or daughters) sit down and have a drink together? I wouldn't call it much of a bond .

    I don't want to see my child like that so I will teach them to drink responsibly if they want.For that to happen....they have to first know that we do not look down on drinking...we just look down on irresponsible drinking.Read the other thread about drinking and see how many started it in college with friends.I would like mine to have their first drink at home ....with a parent ...in the safety of home.

    As parent...my role is not to control their life in future...but to show them how to lead it responsibly.
     
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