Dreary Dreams

@aarthi28 first of all, congratulations on completing your beautiful story. I loved it; I am glad to start it late as I finished the story from start to end in a weeks time. Since you asked for feedback, I am giving you mine. I hope you take it the positive way.

Anu: This is the character that I felt to be very strong, independent and also very lively. I loved everything about Anu and she is my favorite of all. She displayed her strength in character for standing up to her daughter in saying no to Abhi when he proposed an alliance from his family side. While she always respected his family, inspite of not being treated well by them, she still knew her limits. She fought with Abhi (and the world) when it came to Anu.
She displayed her softness when she opened her heart and home to accommodate Sushma.

room for improvement: While she brought her daughter up well, the whole story depicted her like a woman who goes to work, comes home, takes tuition, take care of kitchen work and still has to make coffee for her daughter when she comes home. I felt the Anu I knew would expect Rathi to help her out. It felt like Rathi is oblivious to her mom's very busy day and was not at all helpful.

Mithu and Madhan: I loved this pair. I felt they genuinely loved each other and you were able to bring out the best in them in various circumstances. I loved it how you mentioned about Madhan crying when Mithu meets with an accident. Its OK for men to breakdown, they dont have to be strong all the time like we expect them to be. You made that point very well. I also loved how they both were dedicated to each other and keep checking messages all the time to see if the other sent messages. I love how you described their kisses, their longing and finally their happiness when they got married.
Room for improvement: I think Madhan and Mithu dearly loved their friends (Rahul and Rathi). I would have expected them to share the truth about their love with them instead of letting things sort themselves out. I dnt find that to be natural. Mithu and Rathi were soul mates (I have one friend who is my soulmate and I know I would have told her about Rahul). I wouldnt have let Rathi in the dark for that long.

Rathi: Her character developed beautifully from episode 1 to the last. From being shy, angry and an introvert to a loving, open and beautiful person that she truly is was brought out slowly.
But I felt the whole story is about her and Rahul and the story ended in a hurry. There wasnt enough about Rathi and Rahul and their acquaintance. I anticipated their first expression of love for so long that I think I expected fireworks and lightning when they accepted and confessed their love for each other.
The Rathi I have seen grow would have taken a flight to Hyderebad, call Rahul, go and tell him how she feels about him. She left it to chance...that hope of bumping into someone in a big city like hyderabad...she took a big chance. I felt you could have built more strength intoher personality....like you did with Anu.

I loved how you slowly made her accept dad and also Rahul. That stubborn girl finally saw the point in forgiveness and moving forward and you brought that out very beautifully in her.

sorry, got to go. i need to leave now but will finish later.
i loved your story

 

Dear Arathi!

Congratulations on completing story.

But I am sad that I won't be able to meet my R couple now.

Last episode was super duper. But I wanted some more love scenes of my R couple. So Greedy of me

Can you ad one more romantic episode on them like Rahul returns from his training & their marriage .. Just asking.

I would even love to read a sequel of this story.

 

I ready only this part and I am looking forward for it.

I hope you get all the things settled down soon !!

I wish you a very good luck !

 

அம்மா கலசத்திற்கு ஏற்ற கதை என்று சொன்னார். நான் காலத்திற்கு ஏற்ற கதை என்று படித்தேன் . நன்றி.
கடவுள் கலசத்திலும் இருப்பார்.

 

Thanks for your viewing my comments and desiring to know whether I had read your long serial story that contains beautiful characters set in modern ethos like college, IT Back-ground, elder generation et al.

2. I also read comments from your loyal followers from which it emerges your latent talent for writing is blooming well.
3. I have some simple suggestions not about writing but about formatting.
Immediately after typing out I am sure you would edit that page. At that time try out spacing paras - less crowded paras- not containing more than three or four sentences. If it is continuous dialogues with speech between inverted commas, short ones add to aesthetics and also easily readable.
4. I would also suggest to have a glimpse and short study sharp look of other successful popular stalwarts writings for formatting in internet, in indusladies other sections and printed books for a while.
You might like to read my serial story
Getti Melam - Supraja - An Apple Of My Eye
& the latest
Son , Spouse & Rage Of Diesel

Wishing you Godspeed in your future endeavours
Regards.
God is glorified in formatted texts.