Dowry

divyaparu83 · Jun 17, 2009

[justify]
Today’s mail in my inbox carried shocking news for me. It was the mail from my friend informing about the “sad demise” of another friend of ours. At the first glance at the subject line, I thought the friend would have had normal death or by accident. But the mail contained a news article attached giving us the information (may be partial) regarding her death.

I’ll call our late friend GA (her initials) as I choose not to reveal her name. GA had done her MBA course with us. Though she and I had been in different classes, we had a few subjects together and we were friends, though not close friends. We attended management meets and such functions together and even were team members of our college management meet.

GA was a very active girl. She was friends with most of the boys and girls of the batch of 300 + students. She was a bubbly, lively sort of girl who acted silly at times. She always had a big smile ready that made people smile back at her.

Last weekend, this girl had committed suicide because of dowry row with her spouse and in laws. She fell in love with a colleague and was married to this guy for the past 1 ½ years. The news paper article mentioned that the parents of GA had not satisfied the in law’s demand of dowry. The in laws were pressurizing her for the rest of their demand. Also she suffered from her BIL’s torture. Another article had mentioned her not being able to stand the pressure of marital life, after the pampered life at her parent’s.

Whatever be the reasons may, is this the way to treat any woman who enters your family after marriage? She, who has left her parents, her surroundings and most of her familiar things to be the integral part of another family, another person’s life. Even in the modern world, where the women are empowered with education, money and freedom, the woman enters into the marital world only in the belief that her man will support her – physically and mentally. She has only one set of hands to hold; those are that of her partners.

When a third party, let it be his parents or her parents or siblings give trouble to the wife, is it not the duty of the husband to give his better half the strength to withstand it or to oppose the trouble? How will the wife feel when her husband joins her torturers or even stand as a viewer?

Even after 12 hours of hearing the news, my mind is still not at ease. Think of those parents who lost their child, of the sister who lost her sibling and those friends who lost their pal. When will all the parents in law treat their DILs as their own daughters? Will there be such a time?? Lets hope for the best… and let us be able to cause only good fortune for others always…

PS : Dedication to GA ; let her soul rest in peace.
[/justify]

oasis · Jun 17, 2009

hi divya,
sorry to hear this...lets her soul will attain the peace

Deepali_deepali · Jun 17, 2009

I feel so sad about what GA had gone through among the devils in the form of in-laws..And her husband also..My God.. Why these poor girls don't raise their voices against this torture.. May God rest her soul in peace..

manjulapathy · Jun 17, 2009

Hi Divya!
It is indeed very sad to hear about your friend. Now a days girls are financially independent....whatever it is she should not have committed suicide.While bringing up children, parents also should emphasize that whatever may be the situation in life parents are there to support and under no circumstances they should take extreme decision like this. May her soul rest in peace
Manjula

HappyGal · Jun 18, 2009

It is really shocking & sad that even in educated families the evil of dowry still prevails & it goes to the extent of driving a girl to kill herself. Marriage is important but when the man you marry doesn't care for you as much as he cares for money, then there is no use in holding on to that marriage. Wish your friend had taken some other step than taking her own life. May her soul rest in peace & may the greedy husband & in laws be brought to justice.

HG

my3 · Jun 18, 2009

Sorry about the loss. My condolences. It is true women are ill-treated for dowry.
I always believe that it is better for girls to walk out of the marriage and live (even with parents who are happy thier child is alive) thier life than suffer or die at hands of strangers and so-called-life-partner.
There's always a second chance in marriage/love but not a second life.

divyaparu83 · Jun 18, 2009

Hi all.. Thank you for those condolences and prayers.. The main reason I wrote about this incident is that, of the readers to this write up, if anyone faces such a situation, i wanted them to rethink before they take any drastic steps. When we hear about a third party's experiance and we face the same situation in our life, it is natural for us to think twice before any step is taken.

Divya

vidhkarthik · Jun 18, 2009

Until we give courage to our girl child and tell her not to put up with anyones BS..be it your husband or ILs and tell and act as though the husband is not someone to be worshipped, these sad incidents will keep hpng. Indian women have matured a lot in this respect..I think some men are still lagging behind. They think of mariage as a means of their parents to enjoy free maid services and for him to enjoy the benefits of marital bed. Thats all.

May her soul rest in peace.

SeethaHari · Jun 19, 2009

Divya,

Sorry for loss of a friend.
It does takes time to get back to routine life.
Everyday newspapers are habituated to post a new case/cases and we just add the number to the statistics but little is being done.
Being so well educated and married to a person she loves has not solved her problems. We need more discussions and forums to discuss this issue and make the society think that it is indeed a taboo to take dowry.
We need attitudinal change from the hunger for money to giving value to persons .

Afterall money is not everything in life.

When mother's become Mother's-in-law , they need to have a considerate look at these issues and bring about the change.
One step by one women will lead to a chain reaction.
Let us hope your write up will atleast kill the money beast in atleast some people.

Regards
Seetha

VRajesh · Jun 25, 2009

Very sorry to hear this news.
Why people will torture the other person just for money ant other stuff.... money is important but to get that no one should pressure others. Infact our laws are very weak regarding this situation, they must be some severe punishments for the people who are responsible.

I pray for her soul. Rest In Peace GA.