Don't know where i am going;(

I have been following your thread for long.
Sad to see how you have been treated. Looks like your H is not ready to be a responsible dad. Tugga, his and IL's behavior will not change. No matter what you do you cant change people.
If I were you, now, the first thing I would do is open a new bank account with just your name and transfer your savings from the joint account to yours. Dont tell H what you are doing. Let him find out when ever he finds out and react what ever way.
You have to stay strong for your son.

 

Go to the bank tomorrow and put all your money in a single account pronto.No joint accounts from now on. Also ask DH to transfer the property which he bought in your name.
The alarms bells were there alright but you continued loving your DH and even had a kid .
Are you scared of separation from DH ?
It appears that your DH is bullying you big time as he knows you are scared of losing him. Let him make good his threat of a divorce , he wont , he is just scaring you.
Until and unless you change things will not improve at all.
Get a job , you are well qualified.
No going to Sudan just because FIL, DH say so .PILs may volunteer to look after the baby while you are abroad .
Take charge if your life , now you have to look after your kid too. Your parents are with you , things will be fine soon.

 

After reading everything, u r a strong woman and you have a wonderful carrier , so i don't understand why you r sticking to this money sucking family...can't you see that they r ruining ur life and you have a spineless husband.

please file a case against them as u r in joint account you will get your money and land tooo...if they take money also bank will have details...

stop cribbing as please do some action to start your life fresh. now as u wished you have a kid just go back with your kid to sudan and make ur own bank account and lead a decent life.

 

When you have no plans of going back to sudan, then you have to go and stay with your DH.

Stop speaking to him and tell him to take a walk. he hiding when FIL comes and all is utter crap, acting like a small child hiding for eating a chocolate.

Before all this transfer the money back to your Separate account. Now you are feeling you dont have respect, few days later you will know that all your money is gone and you are left behind your baby and you will have to start working to take care of the kids needs. Before anything like that happens, girl next talk should be you staying with DH. If FIL intervenes tell him to shut his mouth and that you both would handle what you have to do.

You have to love but not blindly believe your DH tugga.

 

I think you need to get a job and stop mingling your finances with your dh. I think he has cheated you once, he will do it agian.

If you feel Sudan is a dangerous place to raise your child, get a job in India close to your parents/friends if possible. Put all your earnings in your own account. If you buy anything, make sure it's titled in your name.

I think your dh and his parents love you for your money. Your dh seems to like a wife with a paycheck.... except for the wife part. So basically, he just likes the pay check!! Can't you see that? ANY NORMAL GUY WOULD NOT WISH HIS WIFE AND YOUNG SON TO GO LIVE AND WORK AWAY FROM HOME IN SUDAN. Probably out of the billions of people on earth, your dh is the only one who would want that. THE ONLY ONE. When you love somebody, you want to keep them close, protect them, love them.... not send them away to a third world hell hole.

You are foolish for trying to build a house on property that's in your fil's name. Knowing how they are, why would you build your life's investment on another person's land? You should either have built a house on YOUR land, or not started it at all! Now you are caught in a hard place.

I think things are not getting better. You need to talk to your dh about whether he wants to be married or not, and whether he is going to take a stand against his parents interfering and whether he, as your husband, is going to start treating you and your baby right. If your money paid for the land, the land should be in your name. If your dh wants to prove his intentions of honoring this marriage, get him to transfer the land into your name. If he refuses to do that, then I think it's really clear where his priorities are.

Could be he is not interested in being married to you anymore. If that's the case, you need to think what your next steps are. Don't let your life keep deteriorating like this. It's not just about you anymore. You wanted a baby to give love and take care of you..... but now you must realize YOUR responsibilities to HIM! Meaning, you must provide a stable home for your child, you must secure his future, you must think of what's best for him too. Languishing in your parents house and crying daily as life passes you by is not right. Start taking charge of your life and stop letting your dh and inlaws take advantage of you. It's ridiculous. I know you are hurting, and when your heart hurts, it's so hard to think straight. I know what that fog of confusion and pain feels like. But Tugga, it's time for you to think straight and clear and take action. Good luck.

 

Tugga

really??? such a selfish decision???:bonkhave you ever thought of the wellbeing of a child....? agreed if all this had happened after the birth of the baby...but you knew all along that your husband was not ready to stand up and own his responsibilities...and for the sake of you having a companion you got a life into this world...and to start with the baby is not going to have both the parents.....really I have not been a good supporter of you in many of my previous posts....but tell me....sometimes making tough decisions will save lot of heart burn in future....you are not able to handle your own emotions and pain...how will you answer your kids questions??? isnt it injustice towards a baby??? whydoes the kid have to bear the pressure and responsibility of keeping you company???


coming to the present situation...clean off your joing a/c immediately...go to bank and with draw every penny in there....open a separate a/c for yourself....going forward...dont put any money in joint a/c....even if your hsuband threatens you....dont do it....tell him until he proves to be a responsible husband and parent...you are not going to fall for any of his threats.....rent a home..and move to that home...send messg to your husband to come and live with you...and even if he doesnt..it doesnt matter to you..let him know that...and start hunting for a job in the same town...ask your parents to be with you in that new home until your husband comes home...(inform the same to your husband also...that as soon as he is home..your parents will go back) meanwhile your parents can help you with the baby when you are busywith job hunting and getting back on track...atleast going forward...pls STOP using that word LOVE....you are actually trying to be stubborn and closed your eyes....ask yourself how manyyears it had been you knew this man of yours...he is very unpredictable..and leading life with such a man who can be easily influenced is like walking on egg shells...atleast for now..have a PERFECT plan for yourself and the kid...if your husband wants to join...let him..if he doesnt want to...let him figure out his options. but you be firm...and start moving to your OWN home.

 

Tugga, I am sorry but your In Laws and husband are milking you for money big time. Your FIL is greedy and your husband is dancing to their tunes. I am sorry to say they were happy when you were an ATM for them. I cant believe your husband letting them to do all this. But then your husband is getting importance in his family thru this so he is enjoying it.

Wisen up and as others suggested file a case against your IL's. Its your hard earned money. You have all the rights on it. Not your IL's and not your husband.Dont let them take it. How did you let your FIL keep all the land deeds. I am sorry to say you have let this come to you. Why will anybody not take something which they got easily? Its a grab it opportunity IL's never miss even from a mile.You shud have kept a tab on anything coming out of your joint a/c like you also authorising withdrawals each time. Not letting your husband make withdrawals on his own.I am sorry to say your husband is a coward . He shud be the one being responsible for both of your decisions.How can he say he didnt want kids when you got pregnant.

Your FIL shud be given a dose of mind.What happened to old people being wiser? He sounds more like my late FIL.Its action time. Do the needful now rather than later. 30 Lakhs is not a small amount. Its your money. Get up and get it. Go to the bank tomorrow morning and empty the a/c.Dont go up to your husband. Stay in your mom's house and look for a job.Involve some elders from your husband's side and try to see if your husband will see sense along with your in laws.

Please dont fall for your husband's words. This time take your time see if he is true to his words and then think about what to do next.This time let him come to you ..Good Luck and take care.

 

You dont have to live with that man....just to prove yourself as a WINNER...during that journey you might loose everything even though for outsiders you might seem like a winner....atleast be happy now that you know what he really is.....

YES this is what I was saying about taking care of your LO....why do you have to push a baby responsibility on your husband even beffore he was ready....

Why are you a burden??? you are financially independant....so start gathering the broken pieces standup and make a life for yourself and your LO (isnt this what you wanted??? you and the baby , even if your husband or parents are not around??? this is what you were planning...and you manifested it...and you got it....) if you were thinking of you, your husband and the kid...then things would have been really different...

I know I am supposed to be supportive here...but when you knew aobut your husbands approachon baby making and planning..you should have taken a step back..instead of thinking about your own life and companionship and making teh baby take up the responsibility of his dad.

Last but not least.....remember that you are fooled by your husband many times....your weakness i.e LOVE for him is making you NOT DIFFERENTIATE the TRUTH from LIES....Open your eyes...and Stop being fooled over n over again.