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Don't Feel Like Talking To Dh

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by kettie, Jul 9, 2018.

  1. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Call his mom in front of him and ask her why the hell they didn't let him marry the one he wanted to marry. Atleast you would have been spared from being married to a ' chugalkhor' ( tatletale) .:shakehead:

    Or call your parents and complain in front of him that the guy they chose turned out to be a compulsive chugalkhor.:buenrollo:

    Don't do this if he is not just a chugalkhor but also a hypocrite who can't take what he himself dishes out.

    Immature guy!
     
    kettie likes this.
  2. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Ask him if that is all you are to him even after 8 yrs of marriage....a girl selected by his parents?

    He didn't have the guts to marry the person he wanted to marry against his parents wishes but has the guts to ill treat wife.
     
  3. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Gold IL'ite

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    :roflmao:
     
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  4. pinky2cute

    pinky2cute Gold IL'ite

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    OP, 8years is too long. Put your foot down and tell him either to stop being an immature idiot and grow up be your man or if not, you too regret your choice of choosing him as life partner n mention the same infront of him to your parents. Now this may backfire and lead to more easily arguments between you both if he is too immature to even understand why you are doing this. So be ready to face it.

    My husband was similar too...though it was not to complain about me but in general whatever i speak to him or share with him he tells each and everything to his parents. It took me 1.5yrs of marriage life to make him stop this.
    (I use to threaten him that if he continues to tell each and everthjng happening between us then I will also go and tell his parents about what we do behind closed doors of our bedroom with clear details of where he touched and et al:p ..that made him embarrassed and eventually he stopped sharing about our conversation to his parents!)
     
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  5. alady2018

    alady2018 Senior IL'ite

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    My dear,
    My heart goes out to you to have to discover something like this. Stay strong till you can find the root-cause of this problem.
    From what you describe - so sorry if this is harsh - but I feel like he is sharing all his so-called-"complaints" about you with his parents more to show them that they made the wrong choice, than it has anything to do with you dear!! 8 years is such a long time to be able to harboring this feeling.

    When he accepted to marry you - he should have done that whole-heartedly. I feel really bad about how he has approached this.

    I think the real problem you have in your hands is to show him that - both of you - for the most "selfish" reasons - i.e. to have a "happy and loving partnership" need to accept each other's plusses and minuses, work on it if it affects you so much and look forward on how to be happy together. His parents shouldn't be in the picture at all.

    I really wish you could give him an ultimatum that tells him not to share any more details of daily family life between the two of you - (e.g. what did you eat, where did you go out, kids happenings only are OK to share). I wish you could tell him that the "world" of husband and wife is not for all to know.

    Just ask him point-blank:
    Do you want to prove to your parents that they should have let you marry your old-love - is this the point of all this futile sharing of details?

    If he has a problem with you - he should come straight to you - and then both of you should have a discussion on how to sort it out or make the situation better. Parents need not be involved at all.

    Good luck dear. Cheers and wishes to resolve this issue. Stay strong.
     
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  6. kettie

    kettie Senior IL'ite

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    I lost my cool on listening his immatured reply and asked his exactly the same thing. I even asked him if his sister also keeps crying for getting her married to someone. He had no answer! After that he complaint that this girl is crazy and ill mannered.
     
  7. kettie

    kettie Senior IL'ite

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    It just feels like i've failed in winning his heart,but none is born perfect. We learn through out our life. Had he been married to his lost love, he would have had some complaints about her too, but he would have never revealed them.
     
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  8. kettie

    kettie Senior IL'ite

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    He wants me to complaint against him so that the message is clear to everybody in family that this marriage was a mistake made by his parents. For every small argument, his reply is "why don't we get separated then".
     
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  9. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Gold IL'ite

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    He is a real cheapskate.
    He didn't have the guts to marry his lover.
    He married you and spoiled your life.
    Do you have kids??
     
  10. Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    hun, is this what you want too? Separation?
     

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