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Don’t Want To Go Back...fight With Hubby

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by anika987, Jul 12, 2019.

  1. Shreema86

    Shreema86 Gold IL'ite

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    @anika987 like you I thrive when I have good friends around to hang out and spend time with. For some people this might not be a priority as their focus is on their families. Different people have different needs. So ignore what others say, if you need to spend summer vacation in India do so. Regarding your work life, since finances aren't an issue try finding a job which gives you flexibility to take longer vacations( teaching assistant , things like that).. Saying this because there is a chance you might make good friends through work that might make u feel less lonely.
     
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  2. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    The assistant teacher sounds Good and if I get one will definetly take it coz it gives me flexibility.. but what are the prerequisites to become one?
     
  3. Thoughtful

    Thoughtful Silver IL'ite

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    Talk to your kid's teacher about volunteering for his/her class. Teachers always need help. Try to go to school to help out at least 2-3 days per week. Once you are there, you will have plenty of opportunities to find out how to become an assistant teacher. You can also keep an eye on your kid.
     
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  4. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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  5. DDream

    DDream Platinum IL'ite

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    @anika987 , I remember your old post on how lonely you are feeling in your married life and also in USA. Your thoughts are very genuine. Hugs to you. I am sure we feel loved and cared when we are with our loving family and friends. That make one very happy. When we have a very cold life in a very a country with cold seasons, we need to make extra efforts to make our life happy.

    Like others suggested above, working or volunteering as a teaching assistant is a good start. One of may friend is doing that. Once I took a few hours leave to assist, a Halloween party in my kids elementary class. I didnt know that it will take away half day so I stopped doing that. There I met many other women , including my friend doing the same. I think when we are part of these kind of activity, we get opportunity to meet more people, feel happy that we did something and also help us to remove boredom. May be talking to your kids teacher will give you a better idea. Good luck.
     
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  6. nuss

    nuss Platinum IL'ite

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    @anika987 - we go to India every year. Before kids, I went every other year and my parents visited the year I didn't go. Now, all 4 of us go every year for 2-4 weeks depending on the work schedule. I work full time so it does get tricky but I keep at least 2 weeks open to visit my family. I want my kids to know their cousins, aunts, and uncles and even if it is a short visit, it helps. Don't worry about people who make you feel bad about visiting your family every year. Don't bother about these people.

    I would also suggest not to worry about the future. You never know, your kids might want still want to visit India when they are in middle school. Regardless, middle school is years away why bother about something now that you can't control. My plan is to take kids to India every year as long as it's possible and when they are teenagers and don't want to go, they can stay home with dad and I will probably still go.

    If I were you, I won't wait to find a job. As other posters suggested, teaching jobs are good because you will have summer free.

    Enjoy your India trips without any guilt!
     
  7. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi guys..India trip is coming to an end.
    Hope I don’t break down..

    But only three reasons this time..

    1) mom
    2) bro
    3) best friend

    I mean I regret why I ever made a choice to marry and live somewhere far way!!!

    Only as we grow older..one realizes the value of certain relationships..But it could be too late...

    Atleast to people who are interested to go abroad..go,enjoy but come back to your family wherever it is..
    Home is where the heart is..family is your soul..nothing like the place you were born and your kith and kin..nothing is ever worth it by leaving them..
     
  8. gknew

    gknew Gold IL'ite

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    Well written. Getting tears on my eyes.
    I am just back from India vacation. I was exactly in the same situation as you and felt the same.
    People like us who are very homesick should do more trips to India often.
     
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  9. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    True...:(
     
  10. lavani

    lavani Gold IL'ite

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    You got great points . Just my view with respect to kids in middle school . Relax on that. my DD is in middle school, it is hard but that does not mean you cannot visit india in summer break.

    high school is where dynamics change, when kid has to do mandatory volunteering. then you can visit india alone.

    relax on that. Joining work become very easy after kid is in middle school, my DD is more than happy if i do not ask her any questions. she is busy with her school work , friends. I have to beg for attention now a days. Ofcourse that gives another freedom to work and be satisfiied that she can take her of her basic needs like food and her health to a large extent.
     
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