Does Your Husband Take Your Side Or Your Mil (his Mother)?

His mother. If need be, he will use me for blood farming and then make bloody mary for his mother and sisters and nieces.

 

I can see your blood is boiling

 

Inlaws are not family. Husband is the family for a wife. Why should she deal alone when they make issue?.

It's a man's responsibility to know how to deal with his parents in his house n make sure the wife has a safe environment and make her feel it's her home.

But 99% Indian men fail at this as their umbilical cords are never cut from their mothers even after marriage.
Son's parents think it's their birth right to interfere in their son's married life till they are alive.

I stay with inlaws, fought worst of battles.
Initial days even I kept quiet but they used to complain about me wrongly toy.husband who would then come to me at night and question me.

Hence I started telling each n everything to him about his parents behaviour. He supported me sometimes and sometimes he didn't (thanks to his crocodile tears crying parents and threatening to leave forever n die) so that he became against me.

Living with them is still a pain. Now we dont talk to each other even being in same home. I just do my work and go to my room.
They are nonexistent in my life now. Even if I see them n live with them under same.roof.

 

This is an interesting topic and I thought I could talk about my experience

 

Sorry hit reply too soon...
So my husband actually never takes my or my mil side and he is able to make a right judgement call on who said the right thing or the wrong thing... to my astonishment and most of the times I find myself agreeing with him!!

But here comes the kicker... he is very close to his younger brother almost treats him like a son... yup. And this younger brother, I don’t know ... somehow manages to irritate me. Either by comparing his wife to me or by advising me on something that’s none of his business and so on. Every time I discuss this with my hubby... he somehow is too soft on his younger brother and tries to justify younger brother’s behaviour. Now I find that really surprising. But what I guess is happening here is if you love someone too much you become blind to their shortcomings or try to justify it somehow.

The whole irritation with bil is work in progress... but both bil and i have understood that we have to work it out for my dh’s sake

 

I can write a thesis on this BIL interference. Ofcourse this has happened in the past. Now that he has his own family and takes outmost care that no one enters into his private affairs like he did in our life.
Even now it happens quite rare and on silliest of the things which I can easily ignore as my H has already tasted this bitter medicine.
I have never seen such an insecured male personality in my life.
Now my dh has stopped taking his side though. But that mommy part is still the same

 

Ahh glad to see i am not alone . This whole sibling rivalry is so ridiculous. Aren’t siblings supposed to be for each other instead of pulling each other down or their siblings in law down. This is so stupid and such a waste of time. Only to realize 30 years later that we wasted so much time in comparison while we could have bonded and could have been there for each other. I see this in my mom’s case where it was full on competition with her sister in laws (orpadis and naathanaars) but now after kids are settled they are much closer and have bonded much better.

 

At my home also its like this. Most of the time, DH supports me. for eg: Since I work, we tend to cook and freeze and reuse vegetables for 2-3 times a week. My MIL doesnt like it. She thinks we should cook fresh every day. But by DH is completely cool with eating frozen stale food. He would stand by me when my MIL would try to lecture me on this. At times, I have to pull him back and tell him to shut up and not bother his mom so much. She anyway visits us just for 2-3 months in a year and most of the time I am ok to adjust with her ways.

 

It is very true!
For any husband, it is a very delicate position to be in. Some men don't support in front; but, have a talk with their mother/wife without the other's knowledge. Some men may once in a while support his mother to ensure there is peace in the house and wife as a partner would understand.