Does friendships and it's requirements change after marriage?

anika987 · May 15, 2014

I am now in the usa for some years.I have contact with my India friends but we talk rarely due to busy life,time difference etc.
Athough the neighbors are friendly they are also busy with their lives and especially get busier after kids.

1)It is very hard to find like minded friends.

2)secondly,even if we have people to speak it is not like how we had in school/college.

3) people do not want to go out as some do not want to spend more

4)Many moved to different cities

5)I went out for ladies night out with neighbors but it was not heartfelt enjoyment as there was no connection.I did not feel rejuvenated at the end of the day

6)If at all I find like minded,good friends BAM! they move to India since their dh project ended! then back to square one!

It is soooooooooooo tiring trying to make friends.Now life is busy with kids but miss GIRL TALK,sitting together and watching a cute movie together,laughing like crazy etc etc.

Am i the only one feeling this way or many r like me?Am i expecting a lot???

Is it coz am in the US,am feeling this way or even ladies in India feel this way?

Please do pour your thoughts...thx

anurinesh · May 15, 2014

hi
I am in the same situation as u mine problem is little bit different mine is language problem.
My DH all colleagues are Tamilian and my DH knows Tamil very well. But i don't know Tamil at all so due to language problem I am feeling as all colleagues wife they all talk in Tamil only and I am sitting on one corner feeling bored......
second thing they all are living in different apartment
third in this apartment I only have one friend not friend my neighbor I go two or three time to her house she comes only one time so I think I should also cut down in going to her house because i think she is ignoring me

anika987 · May 15, 2014

Well..try to keep in touch with apt friend.Sometimes,we might have to lower of expectations.For the time beingu do not want to get bored.So,go once a week and that's it.

KavithaUS · May 15, 2014

Hi Aruna...I am in boston too...may be we should try meet up. I also sometime feel alone in this country. Send me PM.

anika987 · May 15, 2014

sure will do kavitha.how long r u in the usa

anmolhai · May 15, 2014

I think this is the reality of living in N. America. I feel the same way. I have few friends but that because we work together or know them through kids. I feel the emptiness when it comes to having a close friend. I do have some very close friends but I moved 4 yrs ago and I miss them terribly.

KavithaUS · May 16, 2014

Hi Aruna..I am here in boston for past 4 yrs.

Sailajahemanth · May 16, 2014

I was in the same situation..I came here in 2009. I had good friends when I was in India. After marriage I got busy and they also moved to different states, countries due to Higher studies, job etc. Some friends got married. I felt very bad and tried to deviate my mind. I went to library several times a week. I was keeping myself busy..but I was not happy. Even if we have friends here it is not like how we had in our school/ college days.

When I went to India last year I called one of my friend's phone number and luckily I was able to get in touch with her. We were very happy. We exchanged our email id and now we are in constant touch with each other.

RADIODOC679 · May 19, 2014

Dear Aruna!!
Most of people's lives are more or less similar to what you described.Since we all live in nuclear families ,all have always work work work to do more so if you are in the states since dependence on maid/cook isnt possible.Also now-a-days people have become more & more into themselves-I ME MYSELF syndrome-unlike a few decades back when there was necessary&compulsory meeting friends/relatives every month or so.Now-a-days everyone has more gadgets close to each other than any human being-ipad/ipod/lcd etc..Anyways you can always find friends in IL& make a night out or something .Cheers!!!

marlboro · May 19, 2014

what timing! I feel the pinch of not having good friends too! I just dont know what to do about it. I feel life in US or India is the same after marriage,kids etc.