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Do you skip visiting inlaws if you are not comfortable.

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Jhilmill, Nov 29, 2013.

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  1. Nov 29, 2013 #1
    Jhilmill

    Jhilmill Silver IL'ite

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    Has anyone skipped visiting inlaws while travelling alone to India with baby. I know baby should spend time with grandparents etc. and thats valid when hubby is with you. But if you go alone and are not comfortable with them. What you do...just avoid visiting your side of family to avoid the drama but i don't think thats a solution. Even bringing parents to US doesn't compensate for it as you and baby doesn't get to see India and other family n friends.

    Please tell as in my case its more bad coz my father is living alone and am an only child and i feel the need to visit often moreover m not working so no need for taking off.

    Plz share your experience regarding this.
     
    Jhilmill, Nov 29, 2013
    Jhilmill, Nov 29, 2013
    #1
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  2. Nov 29, 2013 #2
    PMT

    PMT New IL'ite

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    Hi Jhilmil
    You can do one thing visit your inlaws for a day or two and let them spend time with their grandchild and then go to your dads place and spend time with them.
    Like this no one feel bad. and spending a day or two should not be an issue.


    Thanks
    PMT
     
    PMT, Nov 29, 2013
    PMT, Nov 29, 2013
    #2
  3. Nov 29, 2013 #3
    padmaja909

    padmaja909 Platinum IL'ite

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    I dont think you should skip totally. after all they are your husbands parents. but dont let that stop you from visiting your beloved father. first go to your father, relax and spend few days with him. then you can go n visit ur in laws for 1 or 2 days and return back to your father for rest of your vacation.
     
    padmaja909, Nov 29, 2013
    padmaja909, Nov 29, 2013
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  4. Nov 29, 2013 #4
    guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    If it is mere discomfort with ILs, I would suggest a trip to theirs for a couple of days. Especially since you'd be visiting with your child, it is the politically correct thing to do. Visit your father often but visit your ILs at least for a day each time...

    However if you are not even on talking terms with your ILs, and not visiting isn't going to create issues with your husband, you could skip it.

    How is your relationship with your ILs?
     
    guesshoo, Nov 29, 2013
    guesshoo, Nov 29, 2013
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  5. Nov 29, 2013 #5
    Jhilmill

    Jhilmill Silver IL'ite

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    My relationship with inlaws is ok on face by indian standards but m not at all comfortable in going there alone. Boys doesn't have to do these politically correct things but we girls have to. Problem is their place is 12 hr journey by train from my dad's and the area their house is good but kind of in outskirts so i am dependent on them for conveyance etc. and they'll create huge drama even if i go for 2 days and with all that pressure if i am there at their place i feel i'll be stuck. So with baby the best political solution is I go with hubby....Most of the times i feel why I am a girl n why i was born in India that too as only child.:bonk
     
    Jhilmill, Nov 29, 2013
    Jhilmill, Nov 29, 2013
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  6. Nov 30, 2013 #6
    heron

    heron Platinum IL'ite

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    heron, Nov 30, 2013
    heron, Nov 30, 2013
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  7. Nov 30, 2013 #7
    vibha_81

    vibha_81 Gold IL'ite

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    same with me here...dad and my married sister stay in one city and ILs stay in one city with an overnight journey between two...and my DH does not have to visit my dad...when he comes to my city he stays in his relatives house, my dad goes to meet him...but when i go to my ILs place i have to stay at their place and get bored out of my brains...

    for visiting ILs i am going to go first to my ILs spend few days and then travel to my city...that way i don't have to go to airport again....try that if you have less luggage so that you can take a domestic flight to your dad's place after a couple of days...better to face the unpleasant first IMO
     
    vibha_81, Nov 30, 2013
    vibha_81, Nov 30, 2013
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  8. Dec 2, 2013 #8
    Nd123

    Nd123 Gold IL'ite

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    Always visit your parents first before your in laws. That way they can't spoil your holiday mood and also can't do any smart tricks to extend stay at their house. Also once your visit is over they can't keep calling you DH and tell him that they desperately want to see their grandchild once more before you leave.
     
    Nd123, Dec 2, 2013
    Nd123, Dec 2, 2013
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  9. Dec 2, 2013 #9
    shrutimanjunath

    shrutimanjunath Platinum IL'ite

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    atleast visit them once. if you totally skip that would give another meaning..

    they would vent on you for this reason that you went from usa to india and havent met them.
     
    shrutimanjunath, Dec 2, 2013
    shrutimanjunath, Dec 2, 2013
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  10. Dec 3, 2013 #10
    Jhilmill

    Jhilmill Silver IL'ite

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    Not a single girl did that and boys do it all the time from what i hear. Jai ho!

    Anyways when my mom died i went to India for some months and couldn't manage to go to their place. My Sil n them created a huge drama as if my presence is good for their happiness....cockroach mentality.:evil:

    Though my husband agrees that i can visit my father and necessarily not have to visit his parents if I am not comfortable. I just feel that it will be too much torture for him though he says I shouldn't bother but I realise in this whole drama ultimate victim will be him.
     
    Jhilmill, Dec 3, 2013
    Jhilmill, Dec 3, 2013
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