1. U.S. Elementary Education : What Parents Need to Know
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Middle School Education in the US - What to Expect and What to Do
    Dismiss Notice
  3. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

Do You Have A Will?

Discussion in 'General Discussions - USA & Canada' started by jillcastle, Jan 31, 2019.

  1. Topaz49

    Topaz49 Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    250
    Likes Received:
    245
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    I would add two more to your list

    1) Do you declare primary & secondary beneficiaries every time you open account/investment/buy a property?

    2) Do you have a living will?

    A living will, also called a directive to physicians or advance directive, is a document that lets people state their wishes for end-of-life medical care, in case they become unable to communicate their decisions. It has no power after death.

    This serves 2 purpose.
    1) Your loved ones do not have to make the difficult decision.
    2) You decide your end-of-life medical care. Sometimes your loved ones cannot agree.

    If there is no living will and your loved ones have to make the decision for you - they may ask the doctor to do everything that can be done to keep you alive (they may feel guilty to let you go); but, if you could communicate you might have told that you don't want to be kept alive in a vegetative state.

    This happened to one of our close friends. The son(doctor) and the daughter(lawyer) could not agree and the daughter insisted that dad should be kept alive at all cost. Mother was caught in between. It has been over 5 years and it is the wife who goes through the agony of watching her husband every day. It was a wake up call to us and all our friends. All started talking to their children to let them know that they don't want to be kept alive in a vegetative state and all signed their living will. (including us)
     
    Last edited: Feb 6, 2019
  2. Rihana

    Rihana Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    8,871
    Likes Received:
    21,437
    Trophy Points:
    440
    Gender:
    Female
    For typical kids, ideal is that they get unquestioned access to some parts of the assets only after they are 21 or 22, and even after that in increments. Before that, better for a trusted adult to be in charge.

    Yes, 18 is too young. So is 19 or 20 also. Question becomes what is the alternate. If there is no friend or family in the U.S. or Canada who can take the responsibility, then who? Bank or fund/trust manager? That would need too much research and setting up things for a situation that is very low in possibility. So, the idea is make the 18 yr old in charge, then, eat well, exercise regularly and avoid certain Boeing planes like the 737 Max. : )

    If the younger one is 8 or 9, I don't know. In my case, I did detailed analysis of what will happen if older is x, younger is y yrs old. And then x+1, y+1 yrs old. It is a delicate balance and not very logical. Involves some things like older one takes a break if needed, younger one goes to boarding school if needed, and so on. The hope is that close friends will help with advice but not be burdened with the actual legal, financial responsibility.

    In short, trusting a bank or institution is tough without taking care of the associated hoopla. So, this is a stop-gap kind of thing... it is better than having nothing set up.
     
    Laks09 likes this.
  3. Laks09

    Laks09 Staff Member Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    5,298
    Likes Received:
    7,999
    Trophy Points:
    440
    Gender:
    Female
    Ha ha. I’m trying hard.

    My son is so little and needs me so much more that I need a huge extension on my earth visa. Hopefully things will be ok.

    We decided to go the special needs trust fund route and wait till older one is around 26/27 and still wants to do it. It’s a marathon with gaining guardianship, proving to the courts that it’s in his best interest etc. Hopefully, one of us will still be around to help her get that guardianship jointly with us and then carry forward.
     
    cheenu123, Sunshine04 and Rihana like this.
  4. aamrapali

    aamrapali Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    517
    Likes Received:
    976
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    Good post. I have been thinking about it this year.

    India - what about if our properties in India are in our joint holder names? Will it not automatically go the surviving spouse?

    USA - what if 401K beneficiary, bank account beneficiary, mortgage in USA are all in our joint holder names? Can the extended family still have a legitimate claim on them without presence of a will?

    Also, even after taking all practical steps, what is the guarantee, the will is not altered by spouse. I have heard of wills being altered more often than we think as people get older and their mindset and priorities change.
     
    Last edited: Mar 17, 2019

Share This Page