Do read and give your opinions

godsgp · Nov 24, 2011

I have a little issue to discuss since I am not able to figure it out myself and thought it's not a bad idea to seek some opinions as they can help.

I don't know actually what is the definition and description of a happy marriage but I consider myself a happily married woman for all practical purposes.
My husband is a decent and loyal man who loves me and is a good human being.
I'll not elaborate on my qualities but I am not a bad person either.

We are a good team and and have achieved a lot together !

The differences in our personalities are that I am bubbly person while he is the Mr. silent type,like the one who says only a few words a day!

Now whats bothering me is that he expects a lot from me.
1.Like n number of women out there I am expected to take care of the house ,kids ,my profession ,his professional concerns etc etc etc.
Honestly I feel I have done and am doing my job exceedingly well.I mean you can walk into my house on a random day and expect five star hospitality,wonderful food,well taken care of intelligent kids and all that good stuff.
But somehow I crave for appreciation which is actually nil.
So you see 'High expectation and low appreciation'.Though I feel I have raised the expectations for myself as these were not being expected from me when we got married,but that's the way I am workaholic and perfectionist.
I have tried complaining about that but no returns.

2.He is not caring.
I am a strong person but everybody loves to cared for when sick atleast.
I am unable to get that even despite the few very bad physical phases that I got.Now it is something so hurtful that I don't even like to talk about it,write here in this case.

Though 'sweet and sour' is good flavor but the sour part becomes bothersome at times.
So ladies!!do read and give your opinions except for talking that out with him for that is something I am giving up now after eight years as it doesnot work at all.shakeheadshakehead
May be an intelligent suggestion helps me eliminate the bad one and add some good spice to my life!!

anukarsha · Nov 24, 2011

Hey Godsgp! come on yaar! such a good combination you've got at home--you bubbly and he silent.What more???We love talking and hubbys love listening. This makes a perfect communication at home.Just kidding dear!!!!

Now, I don't know if this is something intelligent or not; but I would like to tell you that why do you need appreciation from him? You are so good in everything, and I'm sure you are proud of yourself as well. So come on pat your back, and tell yourself good things. We can't read people's heart and mind. Just be yourself. Eight years are marriage is a good period to understand each other. I'm married for almost eighteen years now. But still I feel that we don't know each other so well. It is the stress that takes toll on us. So let it be. Just do your work properly as you always do,and be content. We are all individuals, we can't be the same. Let him be him and you be you. Hope this helps. Please feel free to get back to me. Cheers-Anu

godsgp · Nov 25, 2011

Thanks Anu!
We all need morale boosters at times.Your post did the job.
I actually keep myself busy with work.It helps a lot.
Marriage is something which has to be handled with maturity but sometimes the kid inside or that girl with an expectation does intrude without knocking.
I mean imagine the life of a wife who receives a compliment for her looks or work or cooking only once a year!!
Yes I do feel that in the whole deal my personal needs and myself have largely been neglected but I just brush it off and continue with life ,not without a smile on my face!
Thanks again for replying