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Do Men Share/accept Their Infertility With Foo?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by MNR, Aug 22, 2017.

  1. MNR

    MNR Gold IL'ite

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    Did any of you come across a man accepting / revealing that the problem is with him.

    I see MIL always asking this to DIL. blames her and tries to get to details from her. Not sure if FIL asks the same to his son.

    But always blame/pressure/stress is on ladies. She owns up a problem even though her husband has the issue. Husband doesn't open up his mouth. You know stress will be less on a wife , if husband tells his parents the actual problem. In laws will not give trouble the DIL much.
     
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  2. Sandycandy

    Sandycandy IL Hall of Fame

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    Not yet! A true MARD can never be infertile. He can make babies even without lifting a finger ! In India infertility is always associated with women, they forget it takes two to tango !
    Why doesn't the woman in question ask her MIL to talk to her own son instead of putting up with her taunts ? The husband feels his masculinity will be questioned if people know he has a problem , but does not realize that not speaking up when wife is accused makes him less of a man anyways !
    Fertility is a very personal sensitive area, not something IL's should even venture into. But the concept of personal space is very alien to traditional Indian culture .
     
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  3. Elsa

    Elsa Gold IL'ite

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    The educated lot has come a long way. Most uneducated people behave the way you have written in your opening post. These days, I do see men who are quite open about their issues, atleast to the wife. Again, there is no need for anyone, be it a man or a woman, to explain their issues to a third person. The curious IL's, aunties and uncles should shut their mouths and stop asking anyone about their sex lives, fertility issues and other personal stuff.
     
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  4. sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

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    Very true. Thanks for the post. Been there , had lots of sufferings and insults, from in-laws for not providing a grandkid to them soon .
     
  5. sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

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    true, those embarrassing questions will make me very uncomfortable and I would feel like getting out of this world or renounce the world and go to Ashram for teaching children and servicing.
     
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  6. salad

    salad Gold IL'ite

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    Typical Indian society problem . Problem is always with DIL/woman. Let it be in inlaws ,relatives ,office, friends .. they all "assume " ! Poor DIL :(
     
  7. Nonya

    Nonya Platinum IL'ite

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    Masculinity is often limited to the ability to engage in the conventional heterosexual act, and says nothing about whether or not he could fertilize his partner. Fertility is a whole another matter. Even if a couple can be busy in it every day of the week (and twice on sundays) they could strike out and, as the saying goes... no cigar at the end of it all.
     
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  8. Sandycandy

    Sandycandy IL Hall of Fame

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    Ever heard of Mard ka Bachcha ? Traditional Indian men do equate masculinity with procreating,which is indirectly a measure of their ability to engage in the act.
     
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  9. MaruthiRao

    MaruthiRao Silver IL'ite

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    As already being mentioned, masculinity is not just about engaging in the act, it is the ability to give life. Life as in physical plane and metaphysical plane to make sure he actually lives every moment with the partner in joy and harmony.

    Primordial reason for 'his' and 'her' existence is to produce.
    Interesting fact is that nature believes in conservation of all elements except in the case of cells that are responsible for 'zygote'. One in millions make their way, so where do the rest go?

    Masculinity is not just produce, but also to bring harmony in the different relationships we come across.Masculinity is abstract. Every individual shares the secondary sexual characters of one another (gender), this is the very form of 'Ardhanareshwara'. It again depends on the physiological and spiritual developments.

    Well i have gone through this phase of infertility, I am married for 9 years, my wife and myself had problems. She was treated and mine was treated latter as i was diagnose with severe Asthenozoospermia. Varicocelectomy did not work.

    There were instances where relatives, friends sometimes strangers ask the very reason of not having conceived for so long and their thought process always leads them to ask the woman, the cause and without knowing the background, lots of suggestions pour in...

    Well i do not shy or my parents do not either to tell that i am undergoing treatment and my wife too had some problems of PCOS, she has been cured, and while we are in the process of treatment we hope to see them add a new member to our family.

    But this is not the case all over and a very good thread to start on.
     
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  10. sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

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    Only one solution I can say as a married woman who faced this question from the 3rd month of my marriage , I want women to just convey the person who asked them that it is their personal thing and they need not worry of them that when they will have kids .IN A SMILE BUT FIRM TONE. YES I HAVE DONE THAT TOO . FROM THEN ON THAT PERSON DOESNOT ASK ANY PERSONAL QUESTIONS.
     
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