Diwali The Cracker of a Festival

Kamalji · Oct 24, 2014

Diwali The Cracker of a Festival

Yesterday being Diwali, and we had given off to our staff till Sunday, so was all alone at home. As my friends had their showrooms open, I was the only one idle, so me and wife had a nice honeymoon at home, where else, and fate had it that my daughter too went to Mumbai yesterday.so it was a quiet Thursday.

Having nothing to do, I put on the TV, and really enjoyed my new 50” Samsung TV for the first time, (Don’t worry this is not ad for Samsung and they have not paid me anything ) watching Dabang, and Bodyguard, both Salman movies, and enjoying them, till the neighbours decide to play spoilsport by bursting ear bursting crackers, which go on for 15 minutes at a stretch, breaking eardrums and patience of even the most patient person like me.

Today morning I saw some pieces of firworks on my car, parket outside my home. A piece must have come flying, but my car being the 2 decade old Esteem, I was at ease. Imagine what if I had a 20 lakh car parked there eh ! I COULD HAVE GOT A HEART ATTACK EH ! And my neighbours all park their cars outside my house, all top of the line cars, because the entrance to their homes after my house is a narrow lane. So they screw up my parking.

Any one else in my place would have put a live cracker on their expensive car to teach them a lesson.

And I was wishing that either the crackers stop, or I could close my ears to the noise. Here my oft repeated invention would have come in great use, the earplugs which have the power to block off the noise, and a chip inside playing yr choice of recorded music or bhajans.

How much peace there would be in this world , if u are able to filter what u want to hear . For a DIL, when the MIL starts an unpleasant dialogue, she presses the button which makes the plugs close yr ears, and how funny would the MIL appear, just moving her lips and angrily gesturing towards u ? And of course the reverse too.HAHA

And during diwali , u block out the crackers, during Ganesh Chaturti in Maharashtra, the music, at airports the noise of the people, where u can shut out the announcements of the loudspeakers, and instead set a buzzer on yr mobile to wake u up in time for yr flight.

Hearing is good, the sweetest sounds are of yr child cooing, yr sweatheart saying lovely things to u, but then, the bad parts are there too. This is for the bad part, and I am sure every person in this world would need one, sorry many more, u leave one at office, one at home, one for the way to work and so on.

Selling at say 500 a pair, matching colour to yr ear colour, wireless, with a small remote to switch on and off, and with a profit of 100 bucks, and with 500 crore population of this earth buying a few pieces each, can u imagine a person can become mure rich than Bill gates !!!!

Ah , for this invention, and the sounds of Silence. I miss silence.

Wishing all my friends a Happy Diwali, minus the crackers, and good health and wealth.

KAMAL MAHTANI

Pls contact congress office if you want firecrackers at reasonably lower rates!! 

unused condition since MAY 16, 2014

सोनिया: बेटा, अब तुमने पार्टी का क्या सोचा है?..

राहुल: मम्मी, आज ही कांग्रेस हारी है
और आज ही पार्टी करेंगे तो अच्छा नहीं लगेगा

Song of the day

BJP: Thoda hai thode ki jaroorat hai, zindagi fir bhi yahan khoobsoorat hai.

Shiv Sena: Hum bewafa hargiz na tha thae par hum wafa kar na sake.

Cong:Ye duniya ye mehfil mere kaam ki nai, mere kaam ki nai.

NCP:Hum to tere aashiq hain sadiyon purane chahe tu maane chahe na mane.(to BJP)

MNS:Hum honge kamyab hum honge kamyaab, 'Ek Din'....

: Who declared Diwali shopping
Mandatory ???

Must be Sita.. Imagine.. 14 years of no Shopping !!!

PREDICTION

Regarding the Maharashtra Elections

I predict, BJP making the government with the independents and breakaways from all other parties, bypassing the anti defection laws.

The sweet deal they will give the defectors is this.

The 12 indepenents, will be given 1 heavy ministru and one light, and told to share the spoils, and also the same to other chaps.

This way even if Sharad pawar’s men come on board, Modi can say, the leader may be bad, but not his ministers, and get away with it !!!!

And Shiv sena has been without power for 15 years, so 5 years more wont make much difference to them. And who knows some Shiv Saniks break away and support BJP, for the spoils of election are at the BJP end, not with Shiv Sena.

That is my prediction, this Sunday , 1.15 pm, 24[SUP]th[/SUP] Oct 14.

Who knows I become as famous as the Dead liquorman, sorry I mean Bejan Daruwalla, or Nirmal Baba,

HAHA

GoogleGlass · Oct 24, 2014

Invention of the year, this diwali - Kamalji's earplugs

Nice one Kamalji. Your neighbors to hold their esteem drive expensive cars but you drive an/in esteem, great Kamalji.

One more snippet on your honeymoon - am waiting Kamalji

jayasala42 · Oct 24, 2014

Dear Kamalji,
Happy silent Deepavali next year.
We have a milk box & post box with locking system, both made of plastic hung outside the gate.Day before yesterday, when we had gone out, some urchins nearby had placed the crackers inside the milk box through the hole. and simply burst the off.The crackers burst for a few seconds breaking open the lid and the box was blown to pieces and strewn over the entire the compound.
Fortunately they didn't touch the post box. After coming home I removed the post box from the gate .
It is a game to the boys and a nuisance to us.We Indians never care for the audible nerves not caring for the min decibles that our ears are capable of accepting.Perhaps they reach God only through sound, nay, noise waves.Krishna, save us.
Jayasala 42

kalpavriksham · Oct 24, 2014

My H and i had a hearty, hearty laugh on reading this.
Thank you sir for cheering our otherwise dull afternoon!(my cup of fresh coffee also was not so very fresh, perhaps, i shouldn't have tasted Vittala's garma garam chaai??

we all second GG in his third point of response!!!!!!!!!!

Avery Happy Diwali to you and your family.

Pranams.

Scorpio707 · Oct 24, 2014

Kamalji, another cracker post from you ...you sure enlightened readers this festive season :thumbsup ....
As for the whatsapp msg's I'm starting to wonder why my friends don't send such good ones..half the time I receive msgs quoting "Beware, Warning , Important,Must read blah blah shakehead

Angellic · Oct 24, 2014

Hello Kamalji sir,

Shubh deepawali to u and your family...Oh, you didn't have noiseless diwali huh :bonk, well same here.

I thought social media might have created pretty much awareness among the ppl to enjoy deepawali in an ecofriendly way like crackers-less wala diwali. But its was a huge disappointment to see no change at all and every year the strength is just shooting up :bang. The naughty monsters from our apartment started their Witsendact of burning crackers from 22nd that too at 6 in the morning and not the normal baccho wala crackers, its all high decibel wala firecrackers...I felt like slapping those idiots as they continued till 10 in the morning literally burnt my sleep time then again started in the evening and continued till late night. I was like, what the hell? I booked movie ticket for the next day evening with my family to escape from this crap...:2thumbsup:

Balajee · Oct 24, 2014

Kamalji, the song for Shiv Sena is "Agar bewafa tujh ko pehechan jaate, khuda ki kasam hum mohabbat na kartye." BJP chaps should read your prediction. They will appoint you as the party strategist.in charvge of horese trading in Maharashtra.

parineetha · Oct 24, 2014

happy happy diwali Kamalji..
Think of one like this OK. Earplugs with Nanotechnology or molecular nanotechnology, no one should ever know we use one like this. See we don’t want to hurt their feelings na..Am a nice DIL, won’t my MIL feel bad if we sees me using one while her speakers are ON?
Next one, it should be embedded with something like sixth sense technology interfacing the other 5 senses and must be completely automated or programmable…With some gestures it should filter the wanted and unwanted noise, pictures, smell, taste everything. I can only hear, see, smell what I want only.

An All in all kind of chip where you can wear your world in ur collars. How is it?
There are some geeks and techies here who can enhance it even more, and great business minds like you launch and market it.

Vittala · Oct 25, 2014

What an idea, Kamalji.. :mrgreen:
I second Neetu on the tech idea, but may be one step ahead like, we keep them not on collars but inside the body, (as we have the risk of chip falling down , right at the time we want it to work) and call it, ear plug engineering? :rotfl

Enjoyed reading it, Kamalji. Happy Diwali to you and your family!

--Appu

shyamala1234 · Oct 25, 2014

Dear Kamalji,

Enjoyed reading it a lot.
I like the invention of new kind of hearing aid...selective hearing!
Recently I met a lady in US...middle aged. She had some problem with hearing and now she has a hearing aid. Her hearing aid... so,small, it can be mistaken as some jewelry of ear. When she started using ordinary hearing aids she had a problem.All sounds, traffic sounds, everything loud and she could not bear using. Her ENT doctor suggested this...by some mechanism in it we filter sounds that we do not want to hear. Adjustment is there. She is very comfortable with it. Cost of it is 5000 dollars! But I do not know if it would filter MIL and DIL conversations. If both have filterable hearing aids life would be at peace. your idea of 500 Rs. is too less. can raise it to thousands atleast!!!
Syamala