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Divorced & now in love with a married man with kids

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by Mooni, Jan 22, 2012.

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  1. Jan 31, 2012 #41
    Jananikrithsan

    Jananikrithsan Gold IL'ite

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    Mooni,
    Ask yourself the reason for wanting to be his wife! Analyse before you take the final step!
    Why the connection to each other's soul, is what you must try to answer!
     
    Jananikrithsan, Jan 31, 2012
    Jananikrithsan, Jan 31, 2012
    #41
  2. Jan 31, 2012 #42
    Mooni

    Mooni New IL'ite

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    I'm sure that I never had and I shall never have that kind of understanding with anyone which I have with him.. but what am I scared of?? Maybe marrying him might destroy all that we share but if we don't marry, this society will kill us.. It's impossible to see each other without a legal document but I'm so scared to tie the knot because I'll have to take a strong stand in front of my family too as they are receiving proposals for me from unmarried, settled men. I have no grounds except that I love him and that might not be enough for my parents :(
     
    Mooni, Jan 31, 2012
    Mooni, Jan 31, 2012
    #42
  3. Feb 1, 2012 #43
    teacher

    teacher Platinum IL'ite

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    Well, be discreet and safe while you try to sort this out.
     
    teacher, Feb 1, 2012
    teacher, Feb 1, 2012
    #43
  4. Feb 10, 2012 #44
    Mooni

    Mooni New IL'ite

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    Ladies, all of you thank you so much for your support and advice. I have taken my decision. I'm letting him go.
    Thank you so much. See ya :)
     
    Mooni, Feb 10, 2012
    Mooni, Feb 10, 2012
    #44
    2 people like this.
  5. Feb 11, 2012 #45
    Platy01

    Platy01 New IL'ite

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    Hi Mooni,

    After 6 yrs. relation you end up divorcing, now being single and disturbedun knowingly u came close to this guy, in that you didn’t realize that he isstill happily married with kids. Nevertheless now it’s going to be a big decisionon which rest of your life is mapped. You have every right to choose acompanion who can be your sole met and walk with you till your last breath.

    If you make any wrong step this time you can never get out of it. The guiltthat destroying other women and kids life will eat you up. Do not rush and takeyour sweet time. There are hundreds of guys out side who are single anddivorcees.

    I would strongly recommend not to get it in to someone else shoe.
     
    Platy01, Feb 11, 2012
    Platy01, Feb 11, 2012
    #45
  6. Feb 11, 2012 #46
    Nalini32

    Nalini32 Bronze IL'ite

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    You won't feel it or see it now, but you have made the right choice.
    Although your religion allows for multiple marriages at a time, that's the formality aspect of it. The emotional side of a marriage such as that is the other aspect. Having to share your husband with another person who would have every bit of right to him as you do and then the complications that come with having children in such a marriage. It's easy at the beginning to say that you love him and you are willing to live like this to satisfy that love, but when the issues all start to creep in, it would drain you emotionally if you are not prepared. If you love this man as much as you say you do then it would not be an easy adjustment when reality steps in and you fully realize that you are sharing him is every way, with his 1st wife and possibly others to come. Personally, I don't think I could survive in a relationship as that, having to share the person I love with multiple women. Good luck and I hope things work out for you.
     
    Nalini32, Feb 11, 2012
    Nalini32, Feb 11, 2012
    #46
  7. Feb 12, 2012 #47
    Mooni

    Mooni New IL'ite

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    All along, he was showing me his true emotions which were at times mixed with the disasters on the way.. thank God, I picked up these clues on time and took my decision of letting him go, though he is still trying to get me back but I clearly saw that no matter how much we love each other, about which I have no doubt, we cannot spend our lives together.. I started seeing cowardly streaks in him and already spending my precious 6 yrs with a coward before, I couldn't do that again. I'm at peace now because I feel I've made the right choice for everyone, mostly for myself. Thank you all for your support and time.
     
    Mooni, Feb 12, 2012
    Mooni, Feb 12, 2012
    #47
    2 people like this.
  8. Feb 12, 2012 #48
    Mooni

    Mooni New IL'ite

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    Waisay bhi, DOUBT means DON'T ;)
     
    Mooni, Feb 12, 2012
    Mooni, Feb 12, 2012
    #48
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  9. Feb 13, 2012 #49
    teacher

    teacher Platinum IL'ite

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    Good for you Mooni...it takes time to see things clearly:)
     
    teacher, Feb 13, 2012
    teacher, Feb 13, 2012
    #49
  10. Feb 29, 2012 #50
    GMReddy

    GMReddy Silver IL'ite

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    A good decision at last -JMO. In a marriage the space for two people itself is conjested. Now think of three or more with kids. Definitely it is going to be a hell of adjustments in life.

    Just listen to your heart - it always guides you to the right destination.

    Best of luck.
     
    GMReddy, Feb 29, 2012
    GMReddy, Feb 29, 2012
    #50
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