Division of Assets during divorce, urgent advice please

Hi Friends
Some of you know about my issues. I am married from about 4 years and currently living separately from my husband-temporary separation and it doesn’t look all that great. I live in north america. My husband is in complete control of my pils who are very money minded people. There was a lot of emotional and financial abuse and some physical abuse too. Basically they had a lot of loans which I was asked to pay off right from get go from my salary / savings and I had not right to spend anything from my wish for my family. On top of that there was always comments on my duties towards my inlaws, I was expected to leave my side of family more and more, I did try to adjust tried to change myself according to him but still there were constant reminders just about what he and his parents wanted out of this marriage. It was a love marriage but I felt being unloved. His behavior was particularly aggressive in front of his parents and in matters related to his parents and my family. His parents are not just money minded but very possessive of their son and they did a lot of brain washing which was accepted by him in front of me too. We had a lot of issues but most of them were related to external factors.
I helped his parents through their home loans and car right after marriage, when we bought our marital home overseas my husband stepped back on paying anything for it, saying since we have issues he didn’t want to pay anything for it as he doesn’t consider it “his home”. We started having problems from day of marriage but never said anything like that in his parental responsibilities. He didn’t have job for 2.5 after marriage, as he was studying and unemployed and I never hesitated doing anything, shouldn’t have either. He kept sending his savings to his dad, I kept paying this house alone, its under his name too. He moved out of the house for the same reason. Coming to the point I am very insecure right now, I have job issues to, extremely stressed and depressed. We exchanged few emails and it looks like in case of divorse they will be disregarding any money I gave them, and will try to get a share in property. He has accepted in front of me many times that he never even paid penny for it. I don’t see the legal system will help me either. Could you suggest me anyway I could save my “hard earned money” from people who ruined my life due to their lust for money and control. I am especially worried as I don’t wnt to be a burden on my aged parents and with the state of mind I am in I don’t even know for how long I have my job. On top of that I don’t have eye on even a penny that belongs to them and expect them to have some principles too if they advocate “superiority of male” and patriarchy society so much. I would appreciate your advice on this

Thanks in advance