Discovery

Discussion in 'Education & Personal Growth' started by Viswamitra, Jan 26, 2019.

  1. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    @Viswamitra
    My dear viswa
    If you have decided to miss all the fun in life, who can do anything about it?
    Sri
     
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  2. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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  3. Gauri03

    Gauri03 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    For as long as I can remember I have admired and envied strong athletic women. Growing up I was the bespectacled 'academic-type', as against the 'sporty-type', or so I had convinced myself. My parents never pushed me beyond the one skill they deemed essential, i.e., swimming. The rest they sadly left up to me, and I voluntarily boxed myself into my geeky pursuits. Not that I didn't enjoy my sci-fi and video games universe, I reveled in it, but for an inexplicable reason I had internalized the notion that I could only be one or the other. Unfortunately this all or nothing mindset spilled over into every aspect of my life holding me back from exploring interests outside my comfort zone. My metamorphosis began late in life with a $2 app called Couch to 5K. I was at my heaviest weight and done with being the chubby cousin at every gathering. I went from being overweight and unable to run for 2 minutes without feeling like my lungs were on fire, to being mentioned as a runner in my social circle. The physical change was amazing but the mental transformation was radical. I realized I didn't have to fit the stereotype. Running led to day hiking, then to hiking and camping. The outdoors have become a calling of sorts now. I was out yesterday walking a ridge trail with my friend at 5 am. Being alone on that blustery cold ridge watching the sunrise on one side and the city gleaming across the bay on the other was an ineffable feeling. Here's a picture I took. Sorry for the potato quality. The picture looks deceptively calm but the wind was blowing us off the mountain!

    city.png

    The most important lesson I have learned through this journey has been the perversity of perfectionism. For years I told myself I had to meet some arbitrary high bar to even try. This attitude held me back for so long, from so much. Running taught me that you can't be good at something without being bad at it first. You have to start where you are in order to improve. It gave me a goal and taught me that no matter how slow I run, every time I finish I win, that even though I would never run a 4 minute mile or be the fastest among my peers, I am a runner. My only competition is my last best run. I have refashioned every inch of myself over the past 5 years. The person I was five years ago would not recognize the person I am now. I have the muscles of a runner, and the endurance of a hiker. It is immensely gratifying to have my family express disbelief at my transformation. Each time I transcend the boundaries of my physical strength my self-limiting beliefs crumble. I have found self-awareness and self-confidence unlike ever before by pushing my body past its limits. Inside I am still the girl who spent her youth hunched over in front of a computer writing code and playing Age of Empires, and when someone describes me as outdoorsy I feel a little bit like an imposter, but I am learning to accept that I don't have to choose. I am all of those things and more.
     
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  4. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    Dear V sir,

    Let me try my hand at this self discovery thing! A discovery certainly, even if useless! Playing a board game with a bunch of friends, I realized and as did others that I was simply too good at spelling a word backwards :facepalm:, a skill that did not have much use till I realized that I could use it effectively to teach spelling to my students! All they have to do is spell correctly and I will spell it backwards for them. It is a game now and my students learn new spellings just to challenge me!

    The other thing I seem to constantly work on are the faux pas of life in relationships - I am learning not to go deep into a burrow when I commit one. I am learning to pause, take stock and reach out and apologize - be forth right. I am also learning to reach out to others who commit, extend an olive branch so to say so that what has been between us as friends, people will not become uncomfortable. I am told that I am pretty straight forward person for the most part and that helps me go a long way even if I am all crushed inside. I have made too many mistakes to count, I have reached out genuinely when I have done them - worked in some relationships and have lost a few friendships as well. But I feel clear and better. I am learning to move on and also learning that it is a work in progress. I realize that this important for my well being, a discovery that still fascinates me.

    As and when I remember will come back!
     
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  5. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    @Gauri03,

    If discovery could reach this level of perfection, I wonder whether we all missed a world class athlete, if your parents let you pursue your passion when you were a child. Interestingly, a few months back, I came to know one of the best dancers among ILites who enjoys being in the present moment engrossed in her dancing every time she gets an opportunity to dance. Trust me, even in my wildest imagination, I wouldn't have thought of her as a dancer and only considered her best talents in academics. Now, I have learned something new about @Gauri03 and where her passion to run and hike is coming from.

    Your photograph is stunning minus the wind, and now I know what I miss so badly in Florida. I have one additional question, if you don't mind answering. Due to my medication and health condition, I am unable to hike or run. But some have explained to me that even those who climbing the mount Everest go back again and again because it gives not only a great sense of fulfillment but also unknown energy. Psychologically, a few friends of mine feel hiking gives them the same level of fulfillment as they reach their life goals. Is that true? If you share your experiences of hiking in detail, it would help me.

    Viswa
     
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2019
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  6. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Sabitha,

    You can spell the words backwards? Are you kidding me? That is a very unique skill. You must be a great gift for those who participate in spelling bees. That might be a great way to remember the spelling correctly as most say one letter at a time. A friend of mind told me when I was studying for CA, he associates critical lessons to something very funny so that it gets etched in his head. Spelling backwards is another way to remember things.

    Interestingly, you and I are similar in not brooding too much into our own mistakes and be blunt regretting and apologizing for them. I consider that as key to personal growth and development. I have also burnt some relationships once and for all due to my plain speaking but I don't regret them as I stood up for my family. If I sync what I am inside and outside, the life becomes easier for me, in my opinion.

    Viswa
     
  7. Novalis

    Novalis Gold IL'ite

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    Hoarding is self-contained excitement inducing ready happiness. Nothing wrong — buying , collecting, unwrapping, stowing, occasionally reminded of it, gloating, buying more — Serotonin, Dopamine, Oxytocin, and Endorphins fire away! But as Seneca reflectively stated: human mind is the most elastic and stateless faculty in our body, inflate it with possessional emotions or deflate thereof, it uncomplainingly settles in its original reset after a while. (Stoic: is not emotionless but stateless, that is, wearied of every shift in emotion)
     
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  8. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    @Gauri03
    Madam sister, You had clicked Like option to my Fb to the post. Thanks.
    2. It would be of interest to many to know as to your observations in similar situation and methods you employ and the experience and it's efficacy in such scenarios. If by nature you are possessing calm and collected demeanour always then there is nothing to comment about.
    Regards.
    GOD helps those remain aplomb and astute to enjoy robust health.
     
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  9. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    Dear V sir,

    Perhaps I didn't convey myself well. I was trying to say that I am learning that, for me people are important and I am willing to look beyond and move on. If relationships have broken, it is not because I have not tried - perhaps something I did must have offended the others so much. From my side, I want people and relationships and I am happy to bend backwards or keep a healthy distance if I don't see reciprocity.
    So what I am saying is that it is a discovery (about myself) that I want people and relationships to flourish and thrive and on my part I am willing to go beyond - whether it is reciprocated or not, is a different story. I find this trait in me very interesting.
     
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  10. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Sabitha,

    I understood you clearly the first time. What I meant to say is, despite best intention to make it up with someone I have conflicts with, if they are not reciprocating, I give up. What I meant by syncing inside with outside is that is the only way it could be synced in this circumstance. In other words, I remove the longing for that relationship quickly instead of keeping it alive.
     

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