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Dilemma- where to settle India or U.S

Discussion in 'Return to India' started by vinayak22, Feb 21, 2013.

  1. sadhana927

    sadhana927 New IL'ite

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    You have lots of Indians who are in US. You can seek help from Indian families in your community. I agree that the attention you get when a family is in support is altogether a different thing again. But just give it a thought as your husband is really not interested in moving back to India.

    As of now even we are trying to move out from India but not finding a good oppurtunity. So its not a bad place or its not very much difficult to get adjusted there. Look at the positive things and strengthen yourselves.
     
    GlobetrotterG likes this.
  2. superwoman09

    superwoman09 Gold IL'ite

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    Regarding the post you mentioned above.

    Even in India you can pay most of the bills online, we pay light phone property bills etc all online now.
    Home loans are not a hassle too.
    Family support matters but then arent you guys living in US without any support..so that can be the case too here.
    Regarding your kid maybe he misses his father, maybe it is emotional stress. Going back and forth between countries can cause stress on a child's mind as they are yet too little to understand anything. Sometimes he sees his father other times he does not. Agreed there is family here but then not his dad. Kids minds do think a lot and worst part they are unable to put it out in words like we can.
     
    sindmani likes this.
  3. pari80

    pari80 Silver IL'ite

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    I am not sure, it would help you. But i have unique experience of US-INDIA transition. So after our marriage, I moved to USA with DH in Jan 2004 and was in US till June 2010. Meanwhile, we had very peaceful/private life as we are here alone (no other relatives from either side). Meanwhile, we did get our citizenship here in USA and our son was born here. When we moved back to india, we found few things were not as good as US. You can feel pollution is more, comfort levels are different (though with good financial condition those can be achieved) because definition of comfort is different in india and more competitive environment whatever you do. Even few people may feel suffocated with social responsibility (Luckily I m happy with that social life!!).

    Now what we found very different and better in our eyes were few things like , our son got love from not only parents but grandparents (both side), Uncle-aunt. Even primary education in india is much more competitive and prepared kids far better for future than US (that's our thinking and feedback we get from our friends who decided to stay here in USA). We have more social life back in home and more free time for each other. In us, if couple is working 5 days a week, only meaningful time one have for kids and each-other is weekends.

    Currently again I am here in USA for 3 weeks for husband's business trip (and my pleasure :)) and i see our friends and their life , In my mind we made right decision.

    But one big thing which was helpful to us was when we moved back , we moved back to place we had grown up and we have family. Moving to any other place outside our "hometown" was not in our list and that case we wouldn't have moved back.

    So atlast it depends on what you want in life!!!! But first and foremost, both yourself and DH needs to agree on that and than only you can worry about rest of it.
     
  4. thegirlygirl

    thegirlygirl Platinum IL'ite

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    dear op,

    i come from kenya, but was born in india and raised there till 6 years, and even otherwise have been coming quite often. inspite of that i was sick whenever when i come here.

    i'm suffering from chronic bronchitis from 3 months and having a very tough time, so in you're case if your son was born and brought up in US, he is very likely to suffer from this.

    now coming to your question, i have one suggestion, other than considering other points please also consider taking the opinion of a good astrologer. as however good a place is, it might not be beneficial for everyone.

    like some people will get more opportunities in US while others will do better in india than in US, due to their birth chart.

    i have personally experienced this, so please don't take it lightly, go to a good astrologer and get his opinion, and ofcourse you need to consider other things too.

    good luck!!
     
    GlobetrotterG likes this.
  5. vinayak22

    vinayak22 Senior IL'ite

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    Thank you all for your kind suggestions.

    Has anyone moved to India after having Green card in U.S?
     
  6. jaikawaii

    jaikawaii New IL'ite

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    I would say US. There are many more comforts I think. I'm sure you miss your family back home, but if you consider the long term benefits it may be better to look forward in US. You still haven't earned enough to save, but if you stay longer then you will get your higher income that offsets what you have already paid and then you will start having more to save and plenty of additional benefits. Then you can travel home for happier visits -- staying with in-laws can be tricky if you are around family all the time! Visiting can keep things much more civil.

    More importantly, you need to discuss with your husband what is better in the long run for the family you are setting up together. You do not want either party to be unhappy where they are... Consider kids as well.

    I can see how it is hard to go back to India once u have had a taste of the US. But if u have been there 5 years and still not comfortable, I can see why u kinda want to go home. Maybe you should join more local activities and really really get into life there. Think of it as your home and make new social circles. See if that helps you
     
    GlobetrotterG likes this.
  7. nemesis

    nemesis Platinum IL'ite

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    Soon India will be the most populous country in the world. Too much people fighting for diminishing resources. Not exactly a pleasant sight!
     
  8. Archana11

    Archana11 Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Vinayak,
    I cannot give advice about returning to India or staying in US however I just wanted to let you know anout my personal experience.
    I moved to US when my second kid was 9 months. Before moving she always had cough and cold and most of the tines breathing issue. Used lot of syrups and nebulization daily 3 times. It was very difficult to use nebulization thrice for an infant as she used to refuse a lot. Even my son who was 3 years old use lot of nebulization as per doctor advice. My daughter even got admitted into hospital for bronchopneumonia. Doctor said she might get this prb because of cold. I told we are moving to US and he said if she cannot bare cold pls return. I carried nebulization machine and n number of nebulization medicine sachets with me while coming to US but till now i did not use them for both my kids. They are good and they do get cold and cough but was never serious as it was in India. For my kids US environment worked and I still doubt as doctor said it might not be a cold related issue but might be pollution related issue.
    All the best and take decision wisely.
     
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  9. Archana11

    Archana11 Silver IL'ite

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    Oops... sorry guys for replying for an old post. I always check recent post without even logging in... i saw this post and dint check the date. Logged in to reply. Hope Vinayak decided the best thing and is happy now.
    I think im checking posts too much and silent reader from long time
     

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