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Dilemma- where to settle India or U.S

Discussion in 'Return to India' started by vinayak22, Feb 21, 2013.

  1. vinayak22

    vinayak22 Senior IL'ite

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    Hi All,
    I need advice from you all wonderful ladies.
    Dilemma- whether should we settle in India or U.S
    My story goes like this-
    My husband is in U.S since 8 years. He did his phd in research. There is not much output in salary in research field. I am living in U.S since 5 years. I am housewife with 2 years old kid. In short, we don’ t have any savings because initially my husband was studying, we had to spend plenty of money in some exams etc. Now, his job is around $40K . We do have green card.
    We don’t have any relatives/ family in U.S.
    Moreever I always felt homesick in U.S and also had health issues many times and due to that I had to travel to India as we had no one to take care of me n U.S

    I insisted him to move to India as my father has some land in my name and my selling it we can have our own house and my husband can look for Job but it seems he is not interested in looking for jobs in India. He is used to that life but doesn’t understand that its no use staying in U.S without any good income.
    Also, my is staying with my family in India and there he frequently gets asthma/ bronchitis. I am not sure if he would feel better after moving to U.S.Sometimes I think I should move to U.S he might not fall sick that often but on the other hand he has the same problem, it would be more problem coz there is no family and financial support and in U.S medical appointments takes so long.
    My mom cannot go to U.S due to health issues
    Considering all these, what do you all think? Where should we settle.

    This is wonderful forum and please guide me on this issue.
    Thanks
     
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  2. chocogal26

    chocogal26 Platinum IL'ite

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    Vinayak..

    I feel you don't want to move in US and your DH wants. There should be mutual discussion...where u want to live?? U can find out with pros n cons:

    Pros n cons if u live in India:

    Pros :
    1. U will have your family near by you.
    2. U will have flat as u said u can sell fathers land and buy a flat.
    3. U can easily buy n wear indian stuff.
    4. U can eat enjoy delhi's food(personally feels it's best).
    5. Ur family will be there for support in bad times.
    6. U can celebrate your birthday n festivals with your family .

    Cons:
    1. CYLINDER problem.
    2. LIGHT problem.
    3. child admission in gud in delhi is really tough.
    4. ur inlwas interference(may be or may not be)
    5. traffic
    6. polution

    benefit in living in US:
    1. Yous DH wants to live in US and very comfortable . Actually when a man comes out from their comfort zone, u can feel the frustation.
    2. Atleast he is working there.
    3. don't know he will get gud job in india or not.'
    and lots more.

    DECISION SHOULD BE TAKE BY MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING....NOT ONLY YOURS NOT ONLY URS DH.
    " THERE SHOULD BE MUTUAL DECISION"
    I personall feel live in India. I love my country. I am here just becoz of my DH . He has a very gud job.
    Its ok if i will stay here for more 2 yrs i will back after that...will definitely settle in DELHI(My Wish feel God will listen me),I am from Delhi too....i used to live there before marriage...Delhi is wonderful place to live.
     
  3. Anitap

    Anitap IL Hall of Fame

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    Since you have green card, you can get a job and increase the income for the family.
     
  4. justanothergirl

    justanothergirl IL Hall of Fame

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    Google R2I forums. The posts there deal with this issue exactly. India we left more than a decade ago is not the India today. The view we get when we visit family 3 weeks every couple of years can be very distorted.
     
  5. Mehana

    Mehana Platinum IL'ite

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    Why you not trying for job .

    As per my opinion, even in worse situation I will settle in USA. You can have peaceful life here compared to India though you think luxury is in India only. Try to get a job and you should be okay, being in green card you can do part time too.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 7, 2019
  6. sweetshreya

    sweetshreya IL Hall of Fame

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    How are your relations with in-laws? Take that factor into consideration too.....
     
    sindmani likes this.
  7. sdiva20

    sdiva20 Platinum IL'ite

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    It would be hard for anyone else to advice about this as there are pros and cons on both. In your case, you and your husband want different things. As someone mentioned, you and your husband should mutually come to a decision.

    Perhaps your husband can try for another job that pays higher or you can step in to supplement the family income. But since you have a child, you should make a decision before they get too used to the US life. Children usually find it harder to adjust once they are older.

    OP- when I first came here I was sure that I would go back to India (for first 5 years). I changed my mind after that period. Now I am too used to life here. Its also nice to see so many fellow IL's prefering to live here in US just like me :thumbsup
     
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  8. JustAnotherMom

    JustAnotherMom Platinum IL'ite

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    Make any decision ONLY after you get your Citizenship.
     
    sindmani likes this.
  9. uma321

    uma321 Platinum IL'ite

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    If I were you, I'd settle in India. However, that's my choice. Based on my understanding, India has everything that we have here. I don't think you'll miss anything if you settle there.

    I think he'll get same amount of salary in India as US PHDs are considered very valuable there.

    You'll also get family support and you'll live close to the family.
     
    GlobetrotterG likes this.
  10. vinayak22

    vinayak22 Senior IL'ite

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    Thank you Moderators for forwarding my thread to correct Forum.

    Thanks dear all for your replies.
    My husband wants to settle in U.S because
    1) He is little bit anxious about how he will manage paying bill etc in India as you know everything is online and quick in U.S

    2) He think its easier to take home loans in U.S and can pay mortage with less stress compared to India.

    3) My mother-in-law passed long time back and other inlaws doesn't support us and don't even talk to us frequently

    My kis is living in India with my parents but he gets asthma here very often. Has anyone experienced this with their child. Sometimes i feel he may be better in U.S due to less pollution. I can go to U.S then he stays healthy there. but i don't whether his problem will decrease or not.
    He gets it very often in India and needs nebulization frequently
     

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