Difficult Questions and Intelligent Answers!

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by varalotti, Apr 6, 2006.

  1. varalotti

    varalotti Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    As an antidote to the thread on stupid questions and stupider answers, I am posting this thread on Difficult Questions and Intelligent Answers. Remembers all these have been taken from our UPSC exams.
    Here you go.
    Q: How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?

    A: Concrete floors are very hard to crack. (UPSC Topper)




    Q: If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?

    A: No time at all – it is already built. (UPSC – 23<sup>rd</sup> Rank, opted for IPS)




    Q: If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?

    A: Very large hands. (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)



    Q: How can you lift an elephant with one hand?

    A: It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand. (UPSC Rank 14, Opted for IES)



    Q: How can a man go without sleep for 8 days?

    A: No problem. He sleeps at nights. (Rank 98 – Opted for IAS)



    Q: If you throw a red stone into a blue sea, what will it become?

    A: It will sink. (IAS Rank 2)



    Q: What looks like half apple?

    A: The other half (IAS Topper)



    Q: What can you never eat for breakfast

    A: Dinner



    Q: What happened when the wheel was invented?

    A: It caused a revolution.



    Q: <st1:place>Bay of Bengal</st1:place> is in which state?

    A: <st1:place><st1:placeName>Liquid</st1:placeName> <st1:placeType>State</st1:placeType></st1:place> (UPSC – 33<sup>rd</sup> Rank)




    Varalotti
     
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  2. purnima_2k

    purnima_2k Senior IL'ite

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    Stupid Questions With The Smart Answers:

    Good one VAralotti! I really enjoyed it... Here's the reversal: Stupid Qs and Diff A'a


    BOY : May I hold your hand?
    GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
    GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
    BOY : You love me...

    GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
    BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

    GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
    BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

    GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
    BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

    BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
    GIRL : How soon??

    BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
    GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??

    SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
    TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.

    MAN : You remind me of the sea.
    WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
    MAN : NO, because you make me sick.

    WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
    HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.

    MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think,
    Peter?
    PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

    1) Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
    Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".

    2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
    Pupil : "The moon".
    Teacher : "Why?"
    Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".

    3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
    Pupil : "A teacher".

    4) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
    Customer : "What other colors do you have?"

    5) My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.

    6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
    Sam : "It's a family tradition".
    Teacher : "What do you mean?"
    Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
    Teacher : "What about your mother?"
    Sam : "She's a woman".

    7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
    David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".

    8) Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
    Student : "Brotherly love".

    9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
    Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".

    10) Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
    Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".
    11) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
    One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time."

    12) Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
    Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
    One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."


    Enjoy!
    Purnima
     
  3. sudhavnarasimhan

    sudhavnarasimhan Silver IL'ite

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    Dear Sridhar,

    That was really really an intelligent way to answer those questions....were they really the UPSC questions....?
    Enjoyed reading and of course put it across to my daughter, who could not answer and we had a good laugh!
     
  4. varalotti

    varalotti Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Yes, They Were Really UPSC Questions!

    Dear Sudha,
    These questions and answers were actually lifted from the UPSC exam sheets. I got this from the professional journal published by the Bombay Chartered Accountants Soceity.
    After reading the responses I feel India as a nation has been exceptionally blessed with intelligence and only now that intelligence is being seen by the world.
    We are handling BPO work for a US firm. They assigned us a work and gave us a whole day to finish the work as it was really complex. A team of two studied for fifteen minutes and I had to take the work home as it was late in the evening.
    Another 30 minutes of work, I could solve it and mail it back to our principals who could not believe that we finished the work so early.
    Sudha and others in IL, my dream for my country is this: the Indian Consulate Office in New York is crowded. Anxious Americans have been waiting in the queue for a whole night to appear for a Visa Interview.
    And I also dream an American mother chiding her son and asking him to do better in his studies.
    "Only if you get good marks, you can study in a good institution in India - IIM or the IIT; otherwise you will have to make do with some American or European University.
    Thanks for the nice words,
    sridhar
     
  5. sudhavnarasimhan

    sudhavnarasimhan Silver IL'ite

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    Dreams come true! cheekaram balikum!

    Sridhar,

    I think those days are not far away.....u must be knowing that american students are given tuitions online by indians! So everyone knows that Indians are intelligent...slowly, but steadily our strengths have spread far and wide and before the world was aware, our perum pughazhum is spreading like wildfire!
    And i must say here that i have met a couple of trainee doctors (germans)who have been in our Chennai universities for exchange program and were impressed with our country in many ways!
    So those days that you are dreaming are not far away!

    (To think that i was wanting to appear for these exams once!)

    I am planning to fwd this to a couple of IPS ;IFS friends....lets see what they have to say! But sometimes i do wonder if they are so intelligent, then how frustrated they must be feeling to work under "you know the kind of people i am talking about" ....

    Anyway let's always pray for the best for all human beings!
     
  6. Chitvish

    Chitvish Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Sridhar, an interesting rejoinder !

    Dear Sridhar,
    2 days back Dr,. Ramji, a professor in Iowa city & the younger brother of my son-in-law ( yes, the same person, whom you claimed had sent you the M I L joke !) Was home for dinner. I showed him our I L site. That he was amazed, is putting it mildly.
    He could not believe that a site, just one year old, could have so many forums & more than 1000 members ! He said, the day is not far off when this will be one of the best sites across the globe & could not stop praising us, Indians. Yesterday he sent me a long mail, giving his suggestions about improving the traffic in the site, what more additions will make the site more attractive etc etc. I have just redirected the mail to induslady !
    So I think what you have written is going to come true very soon.
    Love & regards,
    Chithra.
     
  7. sudhavnarasimhan

    sudhavnarasimhan Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Chitra,

    Sorry for butting in...but could not help when i noticed the coincidences....

    This is for ur mail, Chitra....just yesterday my Hubby, ur maduaraikarar was also praising(which he rarely does!) about our site and its popularity and said soon it will become one of the most famous sites in the world.....so YOU ALL MADURAI ites, dream big and we of course are always there to support you!
    :clap :thumbsup ......
     
  8. Chitvish

    Chitvish Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    You cannot deny facts, Sudha !

    Sudha, whatever you ( all) may think & even comment, you cannot deny, that right now we, Maduraites are playing a big role in IL ! Ofcourse, I am not boasting or blowing our own trumpet - but I am very proud & happy about it. Ofcourse credit goes to every single I L ite for this site. Because you mentioned that point, I thought loudly.
    The day is not far away when we will be all known as the very first members of
    500, 000 strong I L !
    Good luck, God speed !
    Love & regards,
    Chithra.
     
  9. Vidya24

    Vidya24 Gold IL'ite

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    no denial here

    Dear Mrs Chithra,

    No one is denyting the Madurai aathikyam. After all IL is a women's forum, so it is Meenakshi reign. And Madurai is famous for powerful women and men playing second or tenth fiddle---

    regards
    Vidya
     
  10. Chitvish

    Chitvish Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Wordsmith again, Vidya !

    You can't deny that women can emerge powerful only with the men's support !Then what is harmony all about ?
    Though I have now lived more of my life in Chennai, I still take pride in calling myself a Maduraite ! - it is my very blood, Vidya !
    Love & regards,
    Chithra.
     

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