DH very supportive but fed up of MIL, can't take it anymore, plz advice..

Thegoodlife, you are young, you have been married only for 2 years. You are already quite frustrated. How long can you go on like this. Before talking about the policy at home, lets talk about what do you want to do. If nobody or nothing was stopping you, what would you want to do. If you want to study or work, then you should convince your DH. If not, there are still lot of options. If you are interested in fitness, you can learn and also teach yoga. You can join hobby classes or groups or even meditation or prayer groups. I would really like to know what you are interested in.

 

you mil sound exactly like mine! get rid of joint family... you will live a better life when u move out...guarenteed!

 

I can very well understand your problem, a very typical MIL problem, even if you don;t do any mistakes that day I am sure she will create one... because all she wants to taunt you and make the rest of the family believe that you are not up to the mark and an unfit Bahu....

moving out was the best option.. but u say it is impossible now till your BIL's get married.. so that is ruled out..

talking to her and making her understand is again out of question because they are always right and can never go wrong.

I think you should think of working from home job's that is the best option it brings you some income and also confidence since you will be earning and finally away from all her taunts since you will be busy with work.. I am telling you this from my experience I found this the best way to escape from her for some part of the day at least.

If you are happy with your DH then why don't you plan for a baby... that way you will get the happiness of mother hood and you will be busy concentrating on your baby... I did just that... i conceived within six months of marriage and try to concentrate on my DD

 

hi goodLife, not to worry or take tensions for these small things. As there are other big things in your life to be considered. In front of you and your husband it is your future and how you want to live as dreamt.
Good that you have joined gym to keep fit and healthy ; so now you have interactions with people.
Talk to those people/friends quite frequently; get into some hobbies like reading or learning new dish from TV.
When you are ignoring your MIL; she also feel it is enough and needs a stop.
I agree all the days are not same and you can't ignore her comments but you can politely and funnily you can reply back to the taunts.
Through your husband you can tell her to join some old age association /groups; so that she also starts interact with people which makes person better.

 

Irritating movie dialogues...."you want us to leave the house and die on the streets"..."we'll sleep on the railway tracks tonight"...."maa ka ehsaan zindagi bar"..."you have come to break this family"....YIKES!!!!

From my exp I would say you ignore small things but answer back for bigger issues.They will curse you scold you maybe even call names...but unless u fight for urself everyone will trample on you!

 

Thegoodlife, isn't it a family of six people and that is six adults? What responsibilities do you have? Do you have any outside help for cleaning, washing, ironing etc. or do you do everything yourself? How much work does your MIL do? You can manage and do your duties and at the same time find time for yourself.

I am getting a feeling that you are yourself not convinced or you are not interested in doing something. Dear, you will have to take charge of your life. If you really want to do something, nobody can stop you. Nobody has the right to stop you. If you are happy being a housewife and really don't want to do anything at all, then I would say, take your MIL's complaints in a positive way and try to learn to do things better.

 

Relax and take a deep breath. I dont know if the talking thing will work out with your MIL. Talking and communicating is not a typical MILs skill. If she had, then she wouldn't resort to such emotional blackmailing. This is very common in MILs who are very very possessive of her sons and think their DILs are trying to pull her sons away from her. Even if nothing is there, they resort to this attention-seeking sessions. The best you can do is to ignore and let your husband handle it. She can tell him this same dialogue for 3 or max 5 times. After that, he will also start losing patience and ask her to stop this nonsense.

 

Thegoodlife,
I see the problem. It's really a very bad arrangement. I think not answering will work for you, if you cannot change anything else. I feel sorry for you.