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DH not intrest in baby

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by chitu, Dec 7, 2011.

  1. chitu

    chitu Bronze IL'ite

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    hi il
    I just want to share my feeling with you
    I got married on last feb and next month my periods got skipped and my pregnency test was positive.
    At that time we was planning to come to U.S so my hubby told we don't want a child now so he talked with his parents and my parents and got permission to abortion..
    now my mom and my MIL wants to get a baby.. but if i talk about this to my dh he is not intrested to talk about this.
    If i ask him when shall we have baby i ll not at all get reply from him..
    If i keep on ask him he ll tell u r just 22yrs we have time to get baby..
    I have guilty feeling tat have aborted my baby .. So the only way to get rid of my guilty feel is to have baby....
    I want to know what my dh feels and y he is not intrest in baby....
     
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  2. flowerlady

    flowerlady IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Chitu,
    How could you agree to abort your baby with Mom and MILs permission ? Now you want to have a baby because they want a grandchild !
    Its hard to believe that you are so obedient on such a personal matter and depend on Mom and Mil to dictate .Please have a discussion with your husband , not with Mom and MIL .
    Having a baby is a serious issue and should not be taken lightly.
     
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  3. inlovewithmylyf

    inlovewithmylyf Platinum IL'ite

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    Abortion s wrong... Tht too it was ur first child n just because ur husband wanted to come to th US, he asked u to kill a poor life??? My heart breaks... M sorry... Please please say NO to abortion... Have u read just in IL how many ladies are crying for a baby?? Have u read how many of them are ready to sacrifice anything for a baby??? Next time plan it n have a baby only if both of u are ok... Till then use some contraceptives to avoid getting pregnant...

    Ask ur husband when he s interested in having th baby... Ask him whether he really wants it or not... If he says he does not wanna have a kid, ask him why... If he feels 22 s too young to have a child, then better wait for a year or two...
     
  4. lgirish

    lgirish Platinum IL'ite

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    Don`t worry. Past is past. Let the future happenings be good. In this age when many women undergo treatment to have kids it is unfortunate that you had to abort your kid. Make you hubby understand this by slowly starting the topic. Probably he is not yet ready to take up the extra responsibilities. Give him some time to ponder. Lets hope for the best. Keep your mind and body healthy to be ready to have a kid as soon as possible. All the best.
     
  5. spuppala

    spuppala Gold IL'ite

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    Okay you have already got enough messages for the mistake you have committed..Past is past !
    Probably your husband considers you too young to give birth to a baby now..Discuss with him slowly whats the real reason that is pulling him back to have a baby now..
     
  6. rosenav

    rosenav Silver IL'ite

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    You can't undo. What u have done ....so move on, if your want to have a child you both should be prepared to be parents , even if one person disagree then you should talk abt it till our partner agrees and prepared to have a child.

    As a new mother I'm telling it's a very huge responsibility ... Having a baby changes everything...so dnt be pressurized to have one unless you both are prepared.
     
  7. stappe

    stappe Senior IL'ite

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    Not sure why you want to go for a child so early in the marriage . Is it just because ur Mom n MIL want you to have ?
    First of all, not sure why you havent put your thoughts forward about aborting your first child. Going unprotected always has these issues. Now whats done is done not point in feeling guilty that you aborted a baby.
    May be your consciousness might feel happy after giving birth to a baby, but there are many things which you have to ponder upon before getting into that step.

    How is your relationship with yur husband ? Did you guys have enough time for yourselves ? Its hardly been an yr after your marriage. Give it sometime. Trust me any number of yrs would be less but having kids within 1yr will not be a gud idea.

    Its not clear from your post if your husband doesnt want kids at all or he doesnt want them now. If he is saying to wait a little longer , I would agree thats the right way considering that you are still 22 and newly wed. For your satisfaction, ask him when he thinks the ideal time is and what are his plans instead of getting dejected on a "NO".

    Would suggest to first explore and enjoy life with your spouse before taking a plunge into such a big responsibility.
     
  8. chitu

    chitu Bronze IL'ite

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    Thanks for ur replies which made me some how clear

    still i couldn't find whether my don't want child now or he never want child..
    i know people will have lot of dream about future and their child but my hubby dream only about future..
     

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