Depression..

friendabc · Aug 13, 2018

cinderella06 said: ↑

Again another incident happened just yesterday..I met a mother in my child’s school and she gave her no to message so that we contact.we were talking and suddenly she asked me if I work.i said no and then she stopped messaging after that..what do I infer..
I see this attitude in some people where I live, they need both should be working , kids should go to many classes, go vacation,have two cars in high end model, should have gc or citizen, should lived in the city for long time.
So ignore.
Click to expand...

lets give her benefit of doubt ...may be she is busy ...just msg her and ask her 'why dint u call me?'...lets see what she says

Needtobestrong · Aug 13, 2018

Anika I have come across so many of your previous threads and u seem to be a sensitive but balanced person, who is very clear in priorities of life..only thing is you are soft matured and not so good at giving it back to others that's why you are getting affected so much..
U have the misfortune of being surrounded by extremely shallow people who just care about money and luxuries and superficial people who don't really care for you..
Actually the first step towards removing your depression is to stay away from such people, or else just answer them back properly and shut the up...when you hang out with people with positive vibes that itself makes difference..
And the suggestions given by others to get thyroid, Vit D and sugar level checked is actually good..just get blood work done to rule out medical issues..you are also at pre menopausal stage when there are hormonal changes happening in the body..I think u may agree if I say 40 is pre menopause, in today's scenario..get that also checked out.
Medical stuff apart, u also try to boost your confidence because world is bad, full of such people who just try to put u down.
Why don't u first consult therapist and first of all find if ur a really having an issue or not..it's possible u don't require medication but just a little positive counselling. Take help of your husband..
Looks like your husband is ok with u not working and loves u..
U are really doing good job of looking after your family and kid and presuming your interest like fitness..
I have a suggestion, is it possible to convert hobby/passion/interest into a job? Like becoming a Zumba or yoga or fitness trainer? Or making new dishes and writing a cooking blog? ( my friend who quit her job after marriage and settled in U.S. Couldn't work due to visa issue, she is very good at baking and has posted so many blogs and journals on cakes baked by her..). If u like working with kids then how about a small job as preschool teacher with less working hours ? Like u can come back and look after your child also..

Hope20 · Aug 13, 2018

Hi OP,
I am going thorough pretty much the same thing as yours. No meaningful friendships and no good family relationships as well. What I have realized so far is there is no single solution to this issue. You need to do many things together to make sure your mood levels are ok and you are functional. I tried medication but had to stop when I was trying to conceieve. I am still going through the symptoms but I can share what has helped me sometimes.
1. If I want to get something done, I break it into million steps and I try to focus only on first step, then next and then next and so on. This helps a bit in not feeling overhelmed by the task. e.g If I want to go out for a walk, I think them like multiple steps. Like I will just focus on washing my face and taking my change of clothes out, then change my clothes, then put on shoes and then open the front door and then step out. For a normal person, this may feel weird or funny, but this has helped me number of times.
2. Right now, I am dabbling with different supplements like fish oil, vit D and Brahmi. Based on internet search, they helped some people.
3. Talking to counselor helped me when things were really bad. But you need to keep seeing counselor even when you feel like you are better now.
4. If you come to a decision that you will start the medication, make sure you ask your Dr what is the half life (time drug remains in your system) if you want to stop and side effetcs, procedure to stop etc. You should know what you are getting into.
5. Toxic people are everywhere. Please seek good decent people. This becomes hard as in USA , all relationships look shallow. But keep working at it.
6. I am not sure about your religious beliefs but reading about God helps me divert my attention. I have been reading stotras and pothis since last few days and they help me in diverting my attention.

Please remember there are many like you and you are not alone in this battle.
I will post further if I have any update with the supplements.

Laks09 · Aug 14, 2018

@anika987 - I'm not trying to berate you are diminish your issues. I have to say this to you that you have a very hard time letting go. Look, the poster on the first page was right about some of the things, although her delivery to you seemed brash. Your issues with these relatives aren't new. If these things happened last week and you start a thread here and by next week it's out of your system and you are enjoying life otherwise, then it's ok. You have been holding onto these concerns about relatives and various moms at school etc for too long. You are in a position where you aren't able to pick up those suggestions from ILites from your old threads with similar concerns and apply it and get these issues out of your system. You come up with similar threads months down the line. You need more help that you can get from posting here. You need help to get to a place where you can start working on your self esteem. From what you have stated, looks like this is going on since your teens. The low self worth isn't going to go away in a day. It's going to take time. You have to give your doc the complete picture and have her refer you out to a proper certified person who can help you deal with this. This is impacting your life and you need the help. Get tested for your hormone levels and also your vitamin levels and talk to a professional wrt dealing with negativity in your life. Good counselors can guide you to deal with all these things better. If you find that you aren't able to apply their suggestions and are still in the same situation months down the line, you can go back and tell her/him that it isn't working and then work on something together.

And I was serious about your workout regimen. Come post in the Fitness Forum. I know at least three of us who are back to square one and starting from scratch(including me). Join in there and you probably will get over that rut of not going to the gym. And with your passion you could help other posters who are just beginning in their journey.

Take care. Health is Wealth, make sure you are healthy and stay healthy and happy.