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Depression..

Discussion in 'Health' started by anika987, Aug 11, 2018.

  1. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    I work hard for anything I am extremely passionate about...
    I am far from lazy but i I love what I am doing.I can do it for hours..

    for eg:gymming, zumba, yoga are my passions.I join classes and winters/rains do not stop me.I go and do it.
    I get up at 5 am for walks and even exercise during my periods..

    I like my home clean,poojas and work hard to keep things organized.

    Just mentioning the above to prove a point which should not even be justified.

    In a nutshell..I love working but not outside in a corporate setting and get money.
    Reasons will list later.

    Point is..I am very unfortunate to have my relatives living close by for the past one year.My uncles and aunts also keep visiting often for six months tot he USA and you know the drill.Their daughters and DIL are working outside and they keep comparing and ask me "what do you do at home all day" or if say I cook a lot..its like "You seem to have lot of free time " or "Yeah..wasting time in gym" things like that..

    I have been bullied a lot as a teen by family, teachers and my peers and it actually put me in a shell.
    I hardly enjoy socializing with anyone and it feels like a chore.That could be a reason for me not working and even in a job atmosphere, since I take time to grasp things..I have been taunted a lot.I work very hard with my self esteem and now am ok but somehow I feel very tired to even look for a job as I am neither passionate about one nor feel energetic about it.

    Feminism should also be a choice Not to or To go for a job I feel..I sometimes feel if I am wasting away my time doing household chores like others mentioned?

    Honestly,I love being a homemaker and I hate going for a job outside.However,I feel so unaccepted by the society and it is so stressful in family getogethers where they taunt.

    It has taken a toll on me.Home these days looks disorganized and dirty.Many days lying in bed doing nothing.

    Another thing I have to mention is I have this problem of not focusing.Many have said my mind travels too fast and even if I am good at something,I drop it midway..

    To top it,my MIL is really annoying me these days and claiming we are not taking care of them and how we will suffer when in reality she lives in one of the posh areas and has a cook,cleaning help,travels a lot.I never make her do any work if she comes to USA.she did not lift her finger to help me when I had my newborn.just taunting others and irritating..

    my brother is going through a divorce now and I can't ask my mother to come here as she has her own problems..

    I feel anxious and helpless many times.Being soft and not able to stand up for myself with neighbors,relatives or friends,inlaws stresses me a lot..I am happy some days,feel low some days..
    I don't know if it is normal..

    I actually booked an appointmenet with my GP and want her to recommend some medication..
    Is it necessary or should i cancel the appointment...
     
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  2. shravs3

    shravs3 Finest Post Winner

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    No I think better not to cancel the appointment.


    I know these relatives keep advicing or lecturing about us . Sometimes it’s really difficult to ignore.

    Look at my case. I have done BE , worked as a developer for almost 5 years in India. But I had lot of stress and hence some minor health issues too.
    So after coming here I wanted to take a break. I wanted to learn cooking, be responsible take care of home etc. So I never tried for job immediately.
    Recently I started but there are other issues associated to it.

    Even now everyone ask what do you do... I’m like why are they so much worried about me. Once or twice asking is fine but every time it’s too much. I too get depressed sometimes but I will divert my mind. Try to Learn new stuff.
    Go to new places.

    If you are happy to be a homemaker you should not bother much unless your husband insists you to go.

    All these people won’t come when you are too busy and not able to balance work and home . It’s we who have to struggle.
    There is a saying “Barking dogs seldom bite”
     
    NeetaR, messedup and anika987 like this.
  3. Starkgirl

    Starkgirl Silver IL'ite

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    I know how it feels, I am diagnosed with depression and anxiety few years back even though I felt it all through my life. But I do get physical symptoms along with mental trauma of depression and anxiety. I don’t sleep, eat , talk for days , I find it extremely hard to function. That is the reason I started taking antidepressants
    Dear I am telling you all this because if you are finding your emotions overwhelming you to the point you are finding hard to function then talk to your doctor about medication else try YoGa and pranayama , go to a cognitive behavioral therapist since you mentioned about low self esteem.
    They will teach you techniques to deal with what you feel.
    Take care
     
    messedup and anika987 like this.
  4. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Did that medication work..
    I am finding it hard to tell what i feel for the fear of being diagnosed.
    I get anxious and feel low when I am not able to talk back and get very angry with myself about how I allowed them to insult me..It makes me furious and show it on hubby and mom which is not right but they are the only ones who care for me..
     
    Starkgirl likes this.
  5. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    even if I work..I will not get a 100k job.I am being brutally honest.My salary will be very less even or fulltime,plus house and kid..]

    Another cousin who started working two three years back changed all of a sudden and acting very smart with me.She literally talks to me with raised eyebrows and acts as a know it all.It irks me when people change like that..

    I hate all these people living near me and now we have another getogether..it got me stressed today..

    Your attitude is matured and right but me who is going to be 40 soon still do not have that attitude..how can I live like this?and honestly my MIL is one psycho..sorry to be mean but seriously abuse is not only physical but also emotional..
     
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  6. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Gold IL'ite

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    Is your husband ok with you not working??
    Frankly, it should not Matter to others.
    Reduce your meetings with the relatives who put you down.
     
    anika987 likes this.
  7. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    My husband is totally ok with me not working.
    He feels it is my choice.

    My relatives comment,compare and They live nearby
     
  8. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    My main confusion is...

    No matter what..

    1) I do not have problem sleeping.
    2)I make sure I go to gym.
    3)I do not get lazy when it comes to my kid.
    4) I eat well and I eat right.
    5)I dress neat.

    I tend to overthink,not able to let go,analyze,not able to forgive,even angry for things which happened years back,sometimes anxious and fear.

    One day I will hate someone,next day i will feel if I am the mean one..

    so I do not know where to categorize myself..

    That is why I am confused if I should take medication.
     
  9. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Gold IL'ite

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    i too do all this. there must be many women who do the same
     
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  10. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    that is why i am confused if i should go to a doc and what is they do some diagnosis and put me on medication..etc
     

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