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Demerits of R2I

Discussion in 'Return to India' started by rajalakshmigopal, Apr 7, 2010.

  1. rajalakshmigopal

    rajalakshmigopal Gold IL'ite

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    Friends,

    We have seen a lots and lots of merits in R2I.Now this is the time to discuss the demerits.

    1.How will you dispose the furniture and other assets when R2I and do you consider this as a showstopper?

    2.How will the kids accommodate Indian climate,crowded environment,relatives,schooling and other stuff?

    3.If the couple comes back with a kid or couples themselves,will they be living with in laws as a joint family or nuclear family?

    4.Will you be taking care of all the expenses of in laws or just a part after R2I?

    5.You will be escaped from so much of problems since you are abroad.Now you are in close contacts with all your relatives and in laws.How will you be handling all these issues?

    Eg: TTC girls will be facing a lot of questions.They might have been answering a lot of questions over phone.Now they should face everyone in social gatherings,festivals,marriage functions etc..

    Pour in your opinion friends.

    Friends,

    Please feel free to add as many questions as you like in case If I miss anything. Let's discuss and find answers to at least most of the things with our experience.
     
    Last edited: Apr 7, 2010
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  2. Cindhuja

    Cindhuja Gold IL'ite

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    Ondra renda?? Oraayiram ennangal undu...

    I had been there so thought dropping in and sharing my views


    1. Regarding disposal of assets we were very lucky. We had a confirmed plan to return back so we listed out things to manage,allocated jobs for both of us and worked it out perfectly.Started taking pictures of house-hold items,vehicles,heavy appliances and posting in websites(including IL).Paste to-let notification in malls and common places..likewise lot many activities.

    2. Sorry not applicable

    3. We both came back and started leading a joint family system(though i had experienced the same in abroad too.).Like all joint families faced many pros and cons.Earlier i had the freedom too cook anything, manage things as per my interest which all had a taboo later-on ..No 2 people can be satisfied @ the same time..Think what happens in family of 7 :hide:..Of course @ times the mistake was in my part too..It is quite common...we cannot deny..To Err is human right :wink:..A total change in lifestyle is not that easy..somehow all of us are managing to be like this.

    4. Managing expenses weren't a problem. As men @ home are all quite practical(Ushaar parties)

    5. Romba nyayamaana kelvi..Yes terrible for couple in TTC(not only ladies)..Sometimes we took it in a practical manner but had been worse too most of the days..Adhu oru thodar kadhai..Till we have nosy neighbors and relatives we can't stop all these..
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 7, 2010
  3. rajalakshmigopal

    rajalakshmigopal Gold IL'ite

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    Exactly Cindhuja!! This is all I wanted.Thanks buddy!

    Coming to your views,You are indeed lucky to have such economical men :hide:,the so called Ushar parties handling expenses.Good!!

    It is sad to know that you were into joint family system in abroad too.:drowning

    Thanks again :hiya
     
  4. neha1

    neha1 Silver IL'ite

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    Hi rajalakshmigopal,

    R2I is a such a mentally draining process, isn't it?
    I am not in the R2I category as of now but may be in future I will:)
    Just thought of posting what I feel the demerits might be.

    In my opinion, powercuts,pollution and water problems will be the main concern.We take these things for granted when living abroad but in India it cannot be taken for granted.
    Another thing I will miss is the freedom that we have,individually and as a couple. This is the hardest to handle I feel especially for people like me who never ask personal questions to anyone and I expect the same! So,bing like this made me face lot of issues when in India as there ppl thing, one's personal life is not really personal!! also, what you say about TTC couples is very true, more questions to be answered for those in India :-(

    Overall,my frank opinion is, I would prefer living abroad as I see a broader sense of merits. the only reason that would push us is aging parents or inlaws. Otherwise, I would not really want to R2I. JMO.

    I'm waiting for more demerits from other members :)
     
    Last edited: Apr 9, 2010
  5. rajalakshmigopal

    rajalakshmigopal Gold IL'ite

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    Neha,

    This is what I was expecting:thumbsup.Very True.

    I like your opinion about the "personal stuff".100% true.Cannot agree more on that aspect.

    Thanks for the share buddy:thumbsup
     
  6. neha1

    neha1 Silver IL'ite

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    :) Thanks for posting your thoughts on this.
    I am also apprehensive because of personal stuff majorly. Especially for people like me who do not like 'personal intrusions' and neither miss family get togethers or festivals in India:hide:.
    BTW, Your profile says you are in Chennai. Have you R2Ied then?
     
  7. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    RG,

    What to write about the demerits.

    In my case, since we were in the country where we cannot buy property, other white goods and furnishings were just sold to people who came to know through friends.

    kids had few adjustment problems mainly because of the absence of their father other wise they have adjusted.

    I am in a joint family. the intrusions or involvements do not cease to exist when you are living abroad, if we think so, we are living in a bubble and that is the reason you feel the burst badly when you are here in person. the balance is what works.

    Ours is already a double establishment so expenses are something i won't talk about. india is equally costly.

    The only thing that i find as a demerit for me is the powercuts and water problems.
     
  8. rajalakshmigopal

    rajalakshmigopal Gold IL'ite

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    Thanks Neha for the inputs!:thumbsup. I never R2Ied.I was in U.S before my marriage.This is for a close friend of mine and I may also use it in the future:)

    This is also a happening topic to discuss.Isn't it?
     
  9. rajalakshmigopal

    rajalakshmigopal Gold IL'ite

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    All are valid points Shanthi Mam:bowdown

    I cna understand how kids will miss their father.Powercuts and water problems will squeeze you especially during summr.If NRI's visist chennai during this time,they will simply drop the option of R2I:bonk

    Thanks for the inputs Shanthi mam.:thumbsup
     
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2010
  10. Renu1999

    Renu1999 Bronze IL'ite

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    1.How will you dispose the furniture and other assets when R2I and do you consider this as a showstopper?

    We didnt purchase so much furniture so when we R2I I may not have big problem disposing it.

    2.How will the kids accommodate Indian climate,crowded environment,relatives,schooling and other stuff?

    I think my kid is going to have hard time adjusting with the crowded. even when I visited last year I felt in India it is very crowded now than what I saw 7 years before.
    I think after living here for few years I have become very antisocial (or maybe even in India I was like that) I prefer relatives visit rarely.


    3.If the couple comes back with a kid or couples themselves,will they be living with in laws as a joint family or nuclear family?
    I prefer nuclear family but in certain circumstances when somebody (Inlaws/parents )desperately need us I am ok with it . Hopefully they wont interfere with our personal matters and give unnecessary advice.

    4.Will you be taking care of all the expenses of in laws or just a part after R2I?
    We will be taking care of our expenses after R2I

    5.You will be escaped from so much of problems since you are abroad.Now you are online with all your relatives and in laws.How will you be handling all these issues?

    I have to really start finding solution for this now.
     

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