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Degrading husband.....comparing with cosis

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Gayabala, Oct 2, 2015.

  1. Oct 2, 2015 #1
    Gayabala

    Gayabala Senior IL'ite

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    Hi ladies...
    In my earlier post I might have told you about misunderstanding between my H and FIL about property issues... Recently Bil got married some 4 month ago...after marr only last week we went there...cosis avoids talking with me...me and H are not talking with FIL....but my H wants me to talk with his father...who spoiled my name among his relatives as bad dil...well I don't bother that right now...bcoz he has already got sooo much of amount outside for BIL's marr and want us to ask about that so that my H alone will pay the whole amount....as far as he is not talking its good for us...to cosis family he told our house which loan is being paid by H belongs to his three sons...when last week I went there I disclosed everything to cosis...but surprisingly she knew little bit of everything... But she is so cunning.... In front of others she speaks to me very well....moreover she speaks very well with FIL(she is close relative of FIL)....in front of my H she behaves as if she respects him a lot...does not sit in front of him...and serves FIL very well....talking and serving FIL alone is very well noted by my H....now H is asking me why am not talking with FIL....and going on degrading me that am not adjustable like her...it reduces my self respect...I told H to wait for some more time to know true colour of a person...but he is irritating me a lot....don't know what to do....thought of ignoring him but can't do that...pl help
     
    Gayabala, Oct 2, 2015
    Gayabala, Oct 2, 2015
    #1
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  2. Oct 3, 2015 #2
    Metamorphic

    Metamorphic Platinum IL'ite

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    Tell him,

    I am married for X number of years ... she came just 4 months ago.
    I was badmouthed among relatives as bad DIL ... she is not (yet)
    I am not your dad's relative ... she is a close relative of your dad.
    My husband is being used financially ... her husband is not.

    So, do not compare two unevenly placed individuals. I can only be myself and not "like" anybody. You better grow up and respect that!
     
    Metamorphic, Oct 3, 2015
    Metamorphic, Oct 3, 2015
    #2
    7 people like this.
  3. Oct 3, 2015 #3
    Jas8085

    Jas8085 Gold IL'ite

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    OP, in whose name is the property in?
     
    Jas8085, Oct 3, 2015
    Jas8085, Oct 3, 2015
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  4. Oct 3, 2015 #4
    guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    +1 to what metamorphic said.

    Additionally, you might want to keep your distance from your cosis. You don't have to update her about the family politics. You be calm dignified and tactful. That is more important because you never know whether what you say would be misrepresented behind your back.

    And you could (and should IMO) brush off your husband's comparisons with, "hello! I'm a different person!" Or Alternately, you could kill them with kindness too... just an evil thought.
     
    guesshoo, Oct 3, 2015
    guesshoo, Oct 3, 2015
    #4
    1 person likes this.
  5. Oct 5, 2015 #5
    Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Platinum IL'ite

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    Go with what metamorphic said, tell him..
    Please stop comparing, new DIL would act nice.
    As they need earn good name... wait for 2-3 yrs then you would know.
     
    Vedhavalli, Oct 5, 2015
    Vedhavalli, Oct 5, 2015
    #5

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