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Dear Loved One !

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by HariLakhera, Sep 29, 2019.

  1. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

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    DEAR, loved one!
    This is based on a local News Paper report. This is sad, but a food for thought.

    As is generally known, in the West, families outsource the job of disposal of dead relatives to funeral homes who are responsible to ensure that the casket is buried and flowers placed on the grave. They stay there to ensure that everything is complied with traditions. Some do not. There is a three-year case going in the courts. Affected families handed over bodies to funeral directors of a funeral home who left the caskets at the cemetery to be buried not waiting to see what happened. Multiple bodies were buried in the same grave by crushing caskets to make room. The graves were opened and there was evidence to prove that. This was either to save time and/or economize on land available at the cemetery. Whatever! Neither the relatives, nor the funeral directors had the time or inclination to do their job with humility.
    We are blindly copying the West in many ways and I shudder to think if this happens in India also, or is it already happening? The relatives, read children, will leave the following letter with the funeral directors with a request to place the same on the body of the loved one on his pyre:

    "Dear Loved One,
    We know how precious you have been to us, how grudgingly we love you and how badly we will miss you.
    Your last wish for last rites on the banks of a sacred river, a dip in the holy river, Chandan wood for the pyre and finally putting Agni to your Chita to consume your mortal remains so that your soul may burst out of your Kapal and merge with the creator will be fulfilled.
    We have made all arrangements through the good offices of BEYOND LIFE, the famous charitable organization and handed over your body to them with a handsome donation. They will also arrange to spray your sacred ashes all over the Himalayas.
    Sorry dear, we could not wait as we have to catch flights back to our respective homes. Ramu has to leave for the US by tomorrow morning flight. Already we have been delayed by your stay in the ICU for unexpectedly long time.
    BEYOND LIFE will place this letter very close to your heart on your body as a mark of our last respect.
    Lovingly yours,

    Your own."

    N. B. (News Item in next day’s Local News Paper.

    Reports from the holy city suggest that a half-burnt body of a person was found at the Shamsan Ghat. It is rumored that the body was brought by an organization engaged in the business of disposing dead bodies for and on behalf of the loved ones. It looks the employees of the organization were in some hurry. Police have promised to take action. The body could not be identified. A social worker has disposed of the body suitably.)
     
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  2. jayasala42

    jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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    Just like wedding is conducted by event mangers, After death rituals are also executed by institutions intended for the purpose.The advt says,
    your responsibility stops with handing over the body. We will take care of the rest"
    The letter suggested reminds me of fulfilling the desire of the dead husband to donate 50% of his savings to a charitable institution. The wife faithfully obliged by issuing a cheque for the amount and burying it along with the body.

    I hear that some institution issues 'Papa mukthi cert also for Rs 100/

    Some years back one of our friends Shri Kamalji( now no more wrote on
    Funeral Fun
    Myself has written a snippet in 2014
    After Death Rituals
    jayasala42

     
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  3. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Hari Sir,

    In the US, some if not all, make their own arrangements for Funeral Home when they are alive. I volunteer in the Hospice and I notice many entries have indications of where they need to be buried if they die in the Hospice. After I have migrated to the US, my wife had received many calls asking how and where she would like to make arrangement for herself and her husband's funeral. This is a flourishing business in the US as big if not bigger than the wedding management business. Nowadays, the space is scarce and therefore, there are different rates for horizontal and vertical burial. If one doesn't mind being buried vertically, he or she can save some cost of burial. It makes the different between 18"X24" Vs 72"X24". Family staking of bodies are also permitted the oldest being buried deep inside while the latest at the top. The flowers etc. are offered at the same place for the whole family. It is also becoming increasingly popular to cremate the body and have the urn kept in the Memorial for worship on the date of anniversary.

    There is a very popular Vedic Pandit who visits the US often for Kumbabhishekam of various Temples throughout the United States. He told me that many living in the US and India are seeking him to perform their last rites near Kaveri River and he has set up a separate Trust with a lot of ritual performers hired for this purpose in his hometown. He not only performs the last rites but also annual ceremonies, if requested.
     
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  4. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    @HariLakhera

    About similar trends in Japan and china metros I read in news paper. Space is precious than dead bodies I suppose.
    Regards.
     
  5. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

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    Evelyn Waugh's short novel-satire "The Loved One" set in a cemetery was made into a movie in the mid 1960's. Evelyn Waugh is known in India for having promoted R.K.Narayan's writings to the west.


    Cultures that bury their dead have difficulties, especially when cemetery space gets too expensive. Many cultures have moved on to heavy stone boxes which may be stacked up high. Mexican cemeteries become party venues during the weekend near "El Dia de Los Muertos" (The day of the dead), their version of Halloween day. And children can run around and play hide-seek in coffin stacks that can be as high as six. About 20 years ago, coffin stacking came to England, and it is now a common practice.

    USA believers of inhumation and monuments (to visit and lay flowers on), are sold cemetery plots online and in person. If stacking of coffins is the condominium version for the dead-buried, buying a cemetery plot is the town-house version (close packed, side by side, with perhaps one tree in every plot) for the dead. What the OP had described is the trap-&-switch scheme -- the dead was sold a villa-home, but got housed in a mansion-flat.

    Most orientals incinerate their dead, and take the ashes home in a fancy ceramic vase. Some "bury" the ceramic vase in cemeteries that are attached to temples. The amount of space required is small, and stacking is often the case in big cities where temples have limited cemetery space.
     
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2019
  6. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

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    Funny as it may look but it does not really matters what happens to one's body after death. Parsi tradition offers it for the birds feast. For some it is Jal Samadhi meaning food for the fish.
    Burial is costly due to paucity of land.
    Electric cremation is the answer.
    The bottom line is traditions are losing sanctity, priorities are changing in a fast world. That is what I wanted to say.
     
  7. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks for your detailed feedback. Necessity is the mother of inventions as they say. Parsi keep on the rooftop. Swamy ji take jal Samadhi.
    I am sure this Vedic Pandit will keep his words and will see that the bodies turn in ash. Greed may make him to save on wood. It is easy to cheat to the dead bodies.
     
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  8. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

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    Space is the biggest constraint now. Electric cremation seems to be the answer. The point is whosoever does it has to abide by the contract.
     
  9. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

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    Traditions vary. Egyptians used to keep the Mummies in the Pyramids hoping he dead will rise to life again. Resurrection was talked about much latter. We believe in rebirth and burn the body as soul never dies.
    Land is getting scarce for the poor. The rich will find ways and means. Wood is also getting very costly. Changing situations will find answers also.
    What pains is when disposal of dead bodies becomes business, relatives have no time to stay to the last and terms of contract are floated.
    Electric cremation is the best option as of now.
     
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  10. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

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    Talking of uniquely different funeral rites, perhaps the most ecological (no waste of resources, and total recycling) is the sky burial. Once upon a time the large birds would tend to interfere with the flight path of aircraft at the Santa Cruz field in Bombay.

    "Keeping aside the macabre imagery, this system of exposure known as dokhmenashini is swift and ecologically sound. It’s also softened by mythology: the soul’s cosmic transition is aided by the vulture’s mystic eye, and the feeding of one’s dead body to the birds is considered the devout Zoroastrian’s final act of charity." <source >

    Here is a Nat-Geo piece on it:
    Should Tourists Watch Vultures Eat the Dead?
     
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2019
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