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Dealing With Past Regrets In The Present

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by Barupavi, Jun 15, 2016.

  1. Barupavi

    Barupavi Bronze IL'ite

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    @omnam@SGBV
    As of now I do not have any close buddies to share my feelings.Now am having many in IL.
    @SGBV
    Thank you for such a detailed motivating reply:blush:
     
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  2. ivlakshmi

    ivlakshmi Platinum IL'ite

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    Prefer not o tell anyone about marital status except HR. Now a days many are marrying post 27 and so you are as good as unmarried. You do not have to justify anyone. If you tell the truth then people act differently I have personally seen this.
     
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  3. Barupavi

    Barupavi Bronze IL'ite

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    Yes I ha
    Yes I have seen people doing this to me in my previous work place.So only am hesitating.Thanks for reply.
     
  4. silentlistener

    silentlistener Silver IL'ite

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    The silly thing is YOU consider yourself as a stigma. That's why you are so uncomfortable about disclosing your divorce. First feel normal about yourself, then bother about what others think of you.
     
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  5. blossomingbud

    blossomingbud Silver IL'ite

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    Have you ever heard or read this story The miller, his son and the donkey - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
    [​IMG]

    Every one have an opinion, every one have a different perspective but at the end of it all its your life. To say or not to say, when, to whom, how much details is a choice. Every individual will have thousands of details about them. not just divorced individuals, each and every person you meet will have numerous life experiences. no one can share everything. Take it easy. Share whatever your are comfortable with who ever you are comfortable with. If you are not then don't push yourself. To think that you are ashamed or scared for not sharing is a mistake. To feel guilty about it is a sin.

    Good luck.
     
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  6. nuss

    nuss Platinum IL'ite

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    Been there done that . OP- IMO, it is better to just say - I divorced my ex- plain and simple. No explanation needed. If you feel close to someone and want to talk about it , you can do so when you feel comfortable.
    Until you have confidence to say this matter of fact, people will ask and you will avoid the question. Once you tell a few people, they will stop asking and you won't have to worry about it anymore.
    I am divorced. I moved to US without my ex and applied for divorce here. I was 25. I could have easily passed as single but whenever people asked me, "so, when are you getting married?", I smiled and said. " I just divorced my ex so not until I meet the right person." That was it. Some tried to ask what happened. My standard reply was- just couldn't get along. People who like you, will like you no matter what. Those who look down on you for your marital status, well, you don't want them around anyway.
    Be confident and love yourself!
     
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  7. Barupavi

    Barupavi Bronze IL'ite

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    @blossoming bud
    Yes you are right.Even I am in the place of that father & son and I am killing my donkey whereas in my case it is my peace.Thank you for rightly pointing out that one cannot be right at perspective of all people.:blush:
     
  8. Barupavi

    Barupavi Bronze IL'ite

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    @nuss
    Yes one or the other way am lacking that confidence on me and that's holding me back.Striving to put me back in the right place with my own good self esteem.Thanks for taking time to reply:)
     

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