Dealing With Past Regrets In The Present

There is no point in keeping it hidden inside of you, it will fester inside and will make you unhappy. Look them straight in the eye and just say that you were married but separated now.

Do not entertain any more discussions about your past... People tend to dig for gossip if they see someone like this.

Letting the truth out will make you feel relived; and I see no point in hiding this.

 

I feel it the other way around.why should you tell them the past. They 'll feel only happy bout your past. There is nothing to feel guilty about it. Its your wish. Stay bold and move forward! Find what gives you happiness and invol've in it. enjoy a tour and pamper yourself. Come out of the past.seek happiness.That way you can satisfy yourself

 

What you have undergone and you owe no one any information about your past. A simple "no plans now" will do if anyone probes too much.

 

Hello
Well its your life and you should deal with it the way you like.There is simply no point in discussing your past with your colleagues..for them it will be just a part of gossip but for you it will be again swaying in that boat.You will never be able to overcome that part of your life.
Give it sometime and u will fall in place.You have to fight this for you..!!

 

Dear OP,

You are doing nothing wrong, so don't have to feel guilty. It's your personal life and you are dealing with it, why should you disclose your personal life to your colleagues. They doesn't know much about you or what went wrong in your marriage, so without knowing much about you, they may start forming their own opinions which can create a negative impact on you.

No harm in keeping personal and professional life separately. If some one comes to know in future that you are a divorcee, then tell them that it's not hiding the truth, infact you do not want to talk about your past or personal life.

It's your life and your choice, so don't bother about others. Now you are feeling guilty for not disclosing your marital status, but once you disclose you may start facing different other issues. So don't worry and be happy about what you are.

 

Op, Not their problem, not their concern. You don't owe anybody anything. Just smile to if they say still not married. Office place is one such place where even close friends by mistake divulge during conversations. So better nobody knows.Never come into a weak moment and tell. Good Luck.

 

Dear Barupavi

You don't have to tell anyone about your past. Its better you also convince yourself that it never happened to you, it was just bad dream.

Don't even feel guilty of no disclosing about your personal life. How so ever someone is close to you, avoid discussing of your personal stuff. esp when you are new and don't know anyone here.

 

You don't owe any information to your new colleagues or friends. So, you are not forced to reveal your bitter past to anyone.

However, your answers to their curiosities regarding your marriage matters should be tricky. If not, you will be blamed and humiliated for that matter later on. It can also give you heart breaks and social exclusion. Although this is not at all a good approach, we sadly live in a society that is somewhat indifferent to each other.

First of all, you must accept your past. Don't live in denial.
You are a divorcee.. So what?
Being a divorcee doesn't make you a less human being. It doesn't take away your self worth.
You are still the most precious woman, and your value will remain the same regardless of your marital status.
Your self confidence is what gonna be challenged in a society, not your marital status.

I live in a similar society - No different from Indian society.
One of my best colleague/friend was a divorcee when I first met her 4 years back.
She was beautiful, young and I thought she was yet to be married.
But in the first meeting itself, she revealed her marital status as a divorcee, and said she has a son - raising him as a single mom.
She was so confident. Never was shying away from her role, or even in social matters for her troubled marital status. She was bold, and spoke like that.
At the same time, she was too helpful, caring and a great friend to many. People could not leave her or sideline her for this reason.
In fact, she was a true inspiration to me, and many young moms who crib a lot for having to manage both work and house. But she was doing them all single-handedly.

Now she is re-married. When she was about re-marry, her own family suggested to go for a simple wedding, as it is a second time one. But she did a beautiful mega wedding, and never felt otherwise for marrying second time.
In fact, she respected herself, her feelings and her as a human being. So, it was easy for her to demand for respect from others.

It's been around 1 year since she's married. Everyone has forgotten her past. For the world she is a newly married woman like any other married ladies. Her past doesn't matter to others. But what matters the most is her own personality.

Don't feel inferior or even afraid of the society for being a divorcee. That's not a crime. That's not a fault or even a mistake. That's simply your marital status.

Say it openly. Your sob story or the reason for divorce is none of other's business. Refrain from saying it or even defending yourself for this.
Be bold. Don't hide around by thinking other's might dislike you.
Their likes don't even matter to you.

You respect yourself first - Demand for the same.
Be yourself. Be kind, calm, helpful and project all your good side in the new place.
Don't even look as if you are vulnerable or even desperate for a relationship. Tell them you are fine, and happy for what you are.
Live by that. So that other's can't say anything against you.