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Deal with In-laws

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by srilak, Jun 9, 2007.

  1. srilak

    srilak Senior IL'ite

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    Hi All,

    Thanks for the all the suggestions.

    I think I don't have any other option but bare with this guy untill he gets married. He knows that I don't like him to stay with us. However, he loves to live with us(mainly with his brother).

    I have a question...Why now a days combined families disappearing?

    See, in my mother's generation, my parents and my father's brother lived together untill I grew up. I think when I was in 3rd class they separated.There were some problems in between my mother and my father's brother's wife. But they didn't have choice. After separation also it was a big family and only a wall between two families.

    My mother and all other family members adjusted little bit to live together. Why now a days we youngsters, don't give that much importence to relationships. Why we don't like to live together with family members.

    Now family means, wife,husbend and their two children. Only mini families we see. We see the large combined families only in films. Why it became abnormal to live with other family members?

    Before my marriage, I always thought of living in a large combined family. Because, after my father's death, no one in our family wasn't there for us to take care, I felt like left alone. My mother only took care of us.

    I don't want that to happen to my children. My children should have their all uncles,aunts and two sides of grand parents. To happen this I may have to give so much of my self(my ego, my time) to this relationships. May be sometime giving only gives pleasure to our souls. ....


    So because of these reasons only, I sometime put up with my bil. I can say he is not at all a bad guy....see, all persons have the positive and negative side. We just have to see positive side to accept the person otherwise it will be hell of life to live with that person.

    Don't we see some negative qualites in our husbends but we put up with him but we like to get rid of Bil because we have option.

    Sorry for the long post. Atleast I should calm myself to have a good relationship with my bil. I just wrote all my reasons to have a nice,good and healthy relation with my in laws.

    Regards.
     
    1 person likes this.
  2. diana

    diana Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi,

    I have a very different solution. I wonder if other women will agree with me.

    Like, try to be very sweet to your brother in law. Talk highly of him, praise him infront of your hubby.

    This way 3 things will solve:

    1. He will think highly of you.

    2. Wont crib with what you prepare and serve.

    3. Your hubby will be on guard that my wife is getting softer towards my brother, who in turn will have him pack off soon.

    But take care, as it can turn dangerous too. So think before you do. As you know your situation more well.

    All the best.

    Diana :)
     
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