Deadly PJs ..dont kill me now!!!!!

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by prathi, Oct 6, 2005.

  1. prathi

    prathi Bronze IL'ite

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    Deadly PJs....At your own risk...


    zindegi ek paheli hai...
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    scroll karne se solve nahi hogi....


    Teacher: 'A' for?
    Student: Apple !!!
    Teacher: Jor se bolo
    Student: JAI MATA DI



    What's the opposite of "Dominoes"???

    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
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    think
    think
    think
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    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think

    tired of thinking???

    Well the answer is "Domi doesn't know"

    Whats the opposite of "Pizza Hut"

    ...

    ....

    .....

    okei don't kill me "Pizza Hutna math"

    ok whats the opp of venky's..

    venlocks...
    (now,now,dont bang ur head plz..)



    Whats the opposite of Gopalakrishnan?






    Comepalakrishnan.

    What is the opposite of Subramnium Swamy?



    Subramanium Didn't See Me.



    A guy is traveling in a deluxe car in the desert. He wants to take a
    bath,
    but he hasn't got a soap and there is no water anywhere around...

    what can he do?





    ->>He will integrate his d-lux car to get Lux + c (constant of
    integration)
    Using the lux soap he will take bath in the 'c'.

    Other than being fruits, what is common between an Apple and an Orange?<SCRIPT><!--D(["mb","

    think......
    ...........
    ...........
    ............
    ...........
    ...........
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    ...........
    ............
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    ...........
    ...........
    ...........
    ............
    \r\nsocho socho
    ...........
    ...........
    ...........
    ...........
    ............
    ...........
    ...........
    ...........
    ...........
    ............
    the answer is ..........
    They Both Are Not a Guava !!\r\n


    \r\n\r\n",0]);D(["ce"]);D(["ms","4b4"]);//--></SCRIPT>

    think......
    ...........
    ...........
    ............
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    socho socho
    ...........
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    ...........
    ...........
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    ...........
    ...........
    ...........
    ...........
    ............
    the answer is ..........
    They Both Are Not a Guava !!
     
    Loading...

  2. Rajni

    Rajni New IL'ite

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    awesome!!!!!!!!

    U meant it prathi, deadly pjs they are..... :bang :rotfl
     
  3. Sharada

    Sharada Senior IL'ite

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    not a guava!

    I just love pjs! Thanks for posting these. Do u know why the chicken crossed the road?
    A: It wanted to get to the other side!
    Q.do u know why it crossed again?
    A. It was a doublecrosser!
    Have a happy weekend!
    Sharada
     
  4. prathi

    prathi Bronze IL'ite

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    Some more PJs (P for Pathetic this time)

    Sharada and Rajni,

    I love pJs too...here go some more ..enjoy


    Q - In a pond there are 10 fish, one of them dies, and the water level
    of the pond increases. How? Think...........try it Yes you
    can................




    Can't answer..........scroll down





    ... scroll...




    A - The other 9 fish are crying.................


    A women goes in an Auto (rickshaw) and gets bald??? How???


    Lets C' if you can solve this one....


    scroll










    Can't think...c'mon...

    .

    .
    .
    Here goes the answer...



    .
    .

    .Automatically ( Auto-Mein-Takli).....:)-


    Once 5 CHIPKALIs (house lizards) :
    Phulwa,RaamPyaari, RaamDulari,RaamPuri and RaamChuri were
    crawling on the
    wall when all of a sudden, Phulwa started to sing a song. the
    moment Phulwa
    stopped singing the song, RaamPyaari,RaamDulari, RaamPuri and
    RaamChuri
    fell down
    from the wall !!!...
    WHY ???
    scroll down for answer. . . . . . . . . . . .
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    not getting, very simple yaar..

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    coz, they all started clapping !!!!
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Ek Aur

    PJ Isse kehte hain.........

    Gattu ek lecture attend karta hai. lecture ke baad use bhookh
    lagti hai. so
    he goes to the canteen. canteen mein gattu ek pav leta hai.
    jaise hi woh
    pav khane ke liye uthata hai to dekhta hai ki uski plate mein
    "jannat" likha hai.

    To janaab ab aapko yeh batana hai ki gattu jiska
    lecture attend karke aa raha hai! , us proffessor ka
    naam kya hai???

    guess

    scroll down for the answer
    .






    .

    The answer is

    Ishq Ki Chhaon.

    Jinke "Sir" ho "Ishq ki Chhaon"
    "Pav" ke neeche "Jannat" hogi....

    Don't scratch ur head this is a song from film "Dil Se"
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    One More

    What wud u call a Girl who never laughs....?
    ...and the Answer is..........
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    .Just One Scroll ..
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    HASINA !
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Whatz a PJ ?
    Obvio usly "a poor joke"





    Whatz a (P + i J)?









    - A "complex poor joke"


    Why don't people laugh on a "complex poor joke" ?

    scroll down for answer.......







    more boss....





    Bcoz the joke part of it is imaginary.

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Question: You are in a boat in the middle of a river. You have 2

    cigarettes and have to light any one cigarette. You don't have

    anything else with you in the boat? How will you do it?






    Answer: Take one cigarette and throw it in the water. So the boat

    will become LIGHTER........using this LIGHTER you can light the other

    cigarette another deadly answer. scroll down a little











    Another solution: You throw a cigarette up and catch it. Catches win

    Matches. Using the matches that you win, you can light the cigarette

    If that was not enough, one more deadly answer.... scroll down




    Take water in your hand and drop it drop by drop...(TIP - TIP)

    "TIP TIP barsa Pani.

    Pani ne aag lagayee."

    us aag se hamne cigarette jalayee".

    hanso or hansane do
     
  5. prathi

    prathi Bronze IL'ite

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    Ek baar ek hathi (male) aur ek machhar (female) mein pyaar ho jata hai.
    Dono ka affair bahut dino tak chalta hai. Sab log bate karne lagte
    hain.
    Akhir sharmakar, machhar hathi se bolti hain ki abhi apun dono ko
    shaadi kar leni chahiye...duniya wale bahut bate karne lage hain...mera
    jeena mushkil ho gaya hain. Abhi dono ko bhagkar shaadi karni hai...isliye
    dono Marriage Registrar ke yahan application dete hain aur ek mahine
    baad registered marriage karte hain...Abhi dono honeymoon ka plan karte
    hain...Dono Kerala jate hai (with Kesari Tours)...

    Honeymoon hone ke baad jab durse din subah hathi ki aakh khulti hain to
    dektha hain ki bechari machhar mar gayi hain...yes...she is dead...
    Now the question for you is
    "Kyon?"
    > >> > >>
    > >> > >>
    > >> > >>
    > >> > >>
    > >> > >>
    > >> > >>Guess...
    > >> > >>
    > >> > >>
    > >> > >>
    > >> > >>
    > >> > >>
    > >> > >>
    > >> > >>
    > >> > >>
    > >> > >>Stress your brain, you naughty...
    > >> > >>
    > >> > >>
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    > >> > >>
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    > >> > >>
    > >> > >>
    > >> > >>
    > >> > >>
    > >> > >>Because, hathi raat ko "Good Night" laga ke sota hain. Ha Ha Ha Ha<SCRIPT><!--D(["mb","
    \nHa
    \nWhat were you thinking...*
    \n

    \nWife: Why are you home so early?
    \n*Husband: My boss told me to go to hell.
    \n
    *\n
    *&quot;Honey, when we get married,\nI\'ll be there to share all your troubles \n
    and sorrows.&quot;; \n
    &quot;But I don\'t have any,\nmy love.&quot; \n
    &quot;I said, when we get married&quot;\n\n
    *\n
    * American: In our country,\nmarriage even takes place with email. \n
    Santa: In India, it is only\nwith female \n
    *\n
    * When I was young I used to\npray for a bike, then I realized that God \n
    doesn\'t work that way, so I\nstole a bike and prayed for forgiveness \n
    *\n
    * On the first day of marriage,\nthe husband is treated like god... after \n
    that the letters reversed (\ndog ) \n
    *\n
    * The 3 fastest means of communication:\n\n
    Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman\n\n
    *\n
    * A man, upon his engagement,\nwent to his father and said, &quot;I\'ve found ",1]);//--></SCRIPT>
    Ha
    What were you thinking...
     
  6. Shal

    Shal Senior IL'ite

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    Grrrrrrr

    Prathiiiii,

    I want to kill you...hahahahah!! man, those jokes were deadly! I really enjoy reading PJs yet feel like killing the creator!!!

    Thanks for the jokes :-D

    -Shal
     
  7. juhi_sri

    juhi_sri Junior IL'ite

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    sooo good

    :clap all of them are so deadly i am surprise that i am alive.:p
     
  8. prathi

    prathi Bronze IL'ite

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    I wanna live....

    3 + 3 =8
    Bataaon Kaise?













    Bataaon Bataaon!









    Nahi Pata?!!








    Are
    Galati se!!!!!!!!!!!

    ******************************<WBR>******************************<WBR>*****************************

    zindegi ek paheli hai...
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    scroll karne se solve nahi hogi....


    ******************************<WBR>******************************<WBR>****

    Teacher: 'A' for?
    Student: Apple !!!
    Teacher: Jor se bolo
    Student: JAI MATA DI


    ******************************<WBR>******************************<WBR>*******************

    Ek baar ek aadmi ne badi tapasya ki.

    shivji khush .

    Prakat hue ...

    bole ...

    .

    .

    puttar maang ...

    maang kya chahiye tujhey !

    bakth utha ...

    bole shivji ...

    mujhey to aap sirf ek guitar de do !

    shivji bole kaisa gadha hai ?

    unhone kaha ... puttar ...

    tuney badi achchi tapsya ki hai ...

    kuch bada maang !

    .

    .

    .

    .

    wo fir bola ... nahi ji ..mujhey to aap guitar hi do

    shivji ne phir samajhaya .. abey .. kuch dhang ka maang ... !

    par wo to ada hi hua tha ... bola nahi ... aap to mujhey guitar hi do !<SCRIPT><!--D(["mb","

    shivji usey bade pyaar se khopche * me lekar samjhane lage ... bole ..yaar\r\n
    tu

    kuch aur maang .. guitar

    na maang ...

    wo bola ... nahi nahi nahi !! mujhey sirf guitar hi chahiye ... ab

    shivji gussey main aa gaye ... boley ,(scroll down)

    .

    .

    .
    \r\n
    .

    .

    saale .. agar guitar mere paas hota to main ye damaru kyo bajata :)


    ******************************<WBR>******************************<WBR>*******************************




    ) Smoking\r\n
    2) Drinking
    3) Charas
    4) Ganja
    5) Chicken
    6) Mutton
    7) Oily food
    8) Masala
    9) Sleep & obesity
    10) Pollution

    \u003d

    Heart Attack

    Matlab


    scrolll down



    \r\n












    DUS bahane karke le gaye DIL !!
    *******************************
    What\'s the opposite of &quot;Dominoes&quot;???

    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    \r\nthink
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think\r\n
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think
    think

    tired of thinking???

    Well the answer is &quot;Domi doesn\'t know&quot;
    \r\n

    Whats the opposite of &quot;Pizza Hut&quot;




    ...











    ....







    .....

    ok don\'t kill me &quot;Pizza Hutna mat&quot;

    \r\n

    ok whats the opp of venky\'s..


















    venlocks...
    (now,now,dont bang ur head plz..)




    Whats the opposite of Gopalakrishnan?
    \r\n
    Comepalakrishnan.
    <b>
    What is the opposite of Subramnium Swamy?

    Subramanium Didn\'t See Me.",1]);//--></SCRIPT>

    shivji usey bade pyaar se khopche me lekar samjhane lage ... bole ..yaar
    tu

    kuch aur maang .. guitar

    na maang ...

    wo bola ... nahi nahi nahi !! mujhey sirf guitar hi chahiye ... ab

    shivji gussey main aa gaye ... boley ,(scroll down)

    .

    .

    .

    .

    .

    saale .. agar guitar mere paas hota to main ye damaru kyo bajata :)
    ******************************<WBR>******************************<WBR>*******************************


    ) Smoking
    2) Drinking
    3) Charas
    4) Ganja
    5) Chicken
    6) Mutton
    7) Oily food
    [​IMG] Masala
    9) Sleep & obesity
    10) Pollution

    =

    Heart Attack

    Matlab


    scrolll down
















    DUS bahane karke le gaye DIL !!
    *******************************


    </FONT>
     
  9. prathi

    prathi Bronze IL'ite

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    i wanna live - part II

    A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses' wife instead.

    "I'm afraid he died last week." she explains.

    The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss.

    "I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week."

    The next day he calls again and once more asks to Speak to his boss.

    By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts, "I'VE ALREADY TOLD
    YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK!

    WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?"

    "Coz," he replied laughing, "I just love hearing it..."

    ******************************<WBR>******************************<WBR>
    ******************************<WBR>******************************<WBR>*************************

    ek baar teen ants jarahi thee.......
    to unhein cheenee(sugar) ki bori milti hie to pahlee do cheenti to usmein<SCRIPT><!--D(["mb","
    se cheenee ke dane utha leti hei but ek nahi uthati batao kyu ...........



    kyunki













    kyunki





    use sugar ki beemari thee


    \r\n******************************<WBR>******
    how do u place a camel in a fridge in three steps??
    ...
    ...
    1.open the fridge
    2.keep the camel inside it
    3.close the fridge
    next one
    >>
    hoe do u place an elephant in the fridge in 4 steps??\r\n
    ..
    ...
    ..
    1.open fridge 2.take the camel out
    3.place the elephant inside
    4.close the door

    there was a jungle meeting. all the animals were required to report. all
    of them turned out, except one. who was it and why??\r\n


    .


    .

    .

    .

    .
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    .
    .
    .the elephant... u put it in the refridgerator, remember ???


    now u have to cross a river which ios inhabited by deadly crocodiles...but\r\n
    any way u have to cross that river ...how will u cross that ?
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    it simple ...as all animals are attending the meeting ...so no crocodiles\r\n
    are there..so u can cross easily...

    Okay in the jungle meeting where all the animals reported, they were
    welcomed with gutkha.....only one animal requested for a particular brand.
    which animal and which brand?\r\n








    Ans: the animal is giraffe and he opted for &quot;Manikchand&quot; (Unche log unchi
    pasand !!!)


    king lion goes on a search to find elephant
    and has absolutely no problem in locatin this camel......y??\r\n








    becoz our elephant kept his footwear outside the fridge.




    suppose u need 2 transport all the things in ur house 4
    relocating..suppose u go by aircraft ... it is losing height and pilot\r\n
    asks u throw something away to reduce load...what is the thing u will
    throw away to reduce the load??",1]);//--></SCRIPT>
    se cheenee ke dane utha leti hei but ek nahi uthati batao kyu ...........



    kyunki











    kyunki





    use sugar ki beemari thee

    ******************************<WBR>******
    how do u place a camel in a fridge in three steps??
    ...
    ...
    1.open the fridge
    2.keep the camel inside it
    3.close the fridge
    next one
    >>
    hoe do u place an elephant in the fridge in 4 steps??
    ..
    ...
    ..
    1.open fridge 2.take the camel out
    3.place the elephant inside
    4.close the door

    there was a jungle meeting. all the animals were required to report. all
    of them turned out, except one. who was it and why??


    .


    .

    .

    .

    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .the elephant... u put it in the refridgerator, remember ???


    now u have to cross a river which ios inhabited by deadly crocodiles...but
    any way u have to cross that river ...how will u cross that ?
    .
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    .
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    .
    it simple ...as all animals are attending the meeting ...so no crocodiles
    are there..so u can cross easily...

    Okay in the jungle meeting where all the animals reported, they were
    welcomed with gutkha.....only one animal requested for a particular brand.
    which animal and which brand?








    Ans: the animal is giraffe and he opted for "Manikchand" (Unche log unchi
    pasand !!!)


    king lion goes on a search to find elephant
    and has absolutely no problem in locatin this camel......y??








    becoz our elephant kept his footwear outside the fridge.




    suppose u need 2 transport all the things in ur house 4
    relocating..suppose u go by aircraft ... it is losing height and pilot
    asks u throw something away to reduce load...what is the thing u will
    throw away to reduce the load??<SCRIPT><!--D(["mb","
    ...
    ...
    the elephant in the fridge!!!!!!!!
    ******************************<WBR>****************************\r\n

    two persons r talkin by the swimming pool...one says he wont swim bcoz he
    is afraid of dying bcoz of drowning.....the other one says ....hey dont be
    afraid..i\'ll show u how 2 swim and he dives in the pool n starts\r\n
    swimming....
    suddenly, the man outside the pool dies...
    ........
    ...........
    guess why????????
    ..........

    .........
    .........
    the elephant falls on him.......\r\n
    .......
    ......
    ok enough time pass one final Q

    ek haathi agar swimming pool mein gir gaya
    to kaise bahar nikalega???????
    ........
    ........
    think
    ....
    think....
    ......
    ......
    ......\r\n
    .......
    .......
    .......
    .......
    geela ho ke nikalega......

    ******************************<WBR>******************************<WBR>********************




    ek aadmi marne vala hei to use kya khilaoge ........\r\n

    sweets nops
















    sault nopes













    think













    think
    \r\n




















    are yaar
    birla white cement
    kyunki iske ander jaan hei.......



    ******************************<WBR>******************************<WBR>******************************<WBR>***************\r\n


    whats difference between a man jumping from 1st floor and a man jumping
    from 10th floor?
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    .
    former goes (hit) aaaaaaaaa
    later goes aaaaaaaaa (hit)\r\n


    ******************************<WBR>******************************<WBR>**************

    Other than being fruits, what is common between an Apple and an Orange?


    think......
    ...........
    ...........
    \r\n...........
    ...........",1]);//--></SCRIPT>
    ...
    ...
    the elephant in the fridge!!!!!!!!
    ******************************<WBR>****************************

    two persons r talkin by the swimming pool...one says he wont swim bcoz he
    is afraid of dying bcoz of drowning.....the other one says ....hey dont be
    afraid..i'll show u how 2 swim and he dives in the pool n starts
    swimming....
    suddenly, the man outside the pool dies...
    ........
    ...........
    guess why????????
    ..........

    .........
    .........
    the elephant falls on him.......
    .......
    ......
    ok enough time pass one final Q

    ek haathi agar swimming pool mein gir gaya
    to kaise bahar nikalega???????
    ........
    ........
    think
    ....
    think....
    ......
    ......
    ......
    .......
    .......
    .......
    .......
    geela ho ke nikalega......

    ******************************<WBR>******************************<WBR>********************

    ek aadmi marne vala hei to use kya khilaoge ........

    sweets nops
















    sault nopes













    think













    think


















    are yaar
    birla white cement
    kyunki iske ander jaan hei.......


    ******************************<WBR>******************************<WBR>******************************<WBR>***************

    whats difference between a man jumping from 1st floor and a man jumping
    from 10th floor?
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    former goes (hit) aaaaaaaaa
    later goes aaaaaaaaa (hit)



    </FONT>
     
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2006
  10. prathi

    prathi Bronze IL'ite

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    One more

    An Elephant meets an Ant!!
    On Introduction:
    Ant :
    Haathi tumhari umar kitni hai?
    Elephant:
    Paanch Saal !!!

    Ant :
    Paanch Saal aur itnay bade !!!
    Elephant:
    I AM A COMPLAN BOY .

    Elephant:
    Cheetti tumhari umar kitni hai ?
    Ant:
    Tees Saal.

    Elephant:
    Tees Saal aur itni chhoti.


    ;

    ;

    ;
    ;

    ;
    ;
    ;
    ;
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    ;
    ;
    ;






    ;


    Ant:
    Haan .... I AM A SANTOOR GIRL .... MERI TWACHA SEY MERI UMAR KA PATA HI NAHI CHALTA !

     

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