Daughter after marriage become outsider ?

I agree the first time I returned after marriage my mom's attitude had changed completely, she started picking up trivial reasons to fight, once we were invited for dinner i dressed my 6 month son put on his diaper , she said dont use diaper . I said we dont know how long the party will be , he may wet himself. She immediately started saying I am extravagant, dont care for my son etc did not talk to me for the next few days. This is just one instance there have been numerous examples. Now I dread having to go and see them. Each visit only leaves bitter memories.

 

Dear,
It happens in some families. But in some others, its the contrary. They keep praising their daughters and irritate their DILs.

Just learn to ignore for what they are. If it happens often and you feel very bad because of this, then say something like your friend's mom is same like your mom, always forgets her own daughter and keeps praising her DIL and that your friend felt bad for this.

Instead of calling frequently, you can reduce the frequency and make them feel that they are missing you. Just give a try and see whether it works.

 

Lol, its the same thing for me. My Mom treats SIL as a family member and not me. When she tries to force SIL's choices on me, I ignore her, but I do feel bad when we get together as a family and then my Mom wants to do something or go somewhere, she will tell SIL and then they both plan it and when they are about to leave, they will casually ask me if I want to come too or sometimes not even ask/tell me what they are up to. If me and my SIL are having a discussion where we have different views (as harmless as shampoo discussion), mom will make sure to pitch in and support SIL. Yes, these things do hurt, but what to do. I just avoid family gatherings now. You can't change them, but you can change how you react.

 

depends on which city a mother is brought up... which child does she feel more comfortable and secured with, what are her values and her maturity levels.
Most of the Indian mothers feel comfortable with their sons as their only supporter in old age as they've seen happening around them and Indian societal norms.

Maybe its a way to heal oneself from the pain of sending off the gal that they never associate themselves with her.. and keep reminding her and self that she is/was a foreign property.
Its always better to remain in balanced relationships with both the houses so that you dont tread on anyone's territory. Best part if both consider you an outsider.. you don't owe a lot to them and can deliver your best to your own nuclear family and hobbies.

Ppl will come looking for you when they're let down by their most trusted child/parent.. until then they can be happy and you can also choose to be happy with their happiness.
People are born with their own luck,money, attraction/ aura and a purpose.. if you haven't reached the most sort out purpose of a life then there's something else in store for you.. take that as a challenge and keep moving.

 

what a bunch of bull ..... lol ..totally wrong ans

 

No.
Parents behave like that coz the society is conditioned like that.
Daughter is the same girl for her parents even after marriage.

 

Yes just ignore and take care of your family

 

i think u need to talk to ur mom and tell her how u feel .

 

Yes it really hurts when own mother says that way. But I think you should completely ignore her statements, and instead behave in front of your mom and brother that you are extremely happy with your life and showoff to them as though you are more blessed, comfortable and well placed and settled abroad and these qualities of yours can never be surpassed by you will who is getting married to ur bro and always be focussed about your own life, enjoyments with your shift,inlaws and next time ur mom repeats such things B4 you, "I really know that you are telling all these things intentionally to put me down for upset me but your efforts will end up in smoke mom, I am a way too happy with my life however best you try to bring me down, probably you can try such things on your dIL than me because strong minded women with never be disheartened by anything even if said by parents or any other relatives or external ppl". Maintain distance from your mom and bro and always upload happy pics of your loads and loads of photos with ur inlaws and she on social media o spell that you are always in seventh heaven , and get their attention to see and recognise that their world's are spinless B4 your enjoyment and all moments of you life are totally drowned into crown of "seventh heaven or cloud nine". If someone try to bring you down intentionally you should never get hurt, but instead you should become even more stronger to face the game thy are playing with you by hurting with some sentimentally bad remarks and prove them at once that their efforts to bring you down are worthless sand spineless and you are the absolute GATEWAY to your contented,happy,blissful life and they don't have my role to play in the book of your life to play by demeaning or derogating you that way

 

only one question to all the daughters.. do u think that u will be getting /u have got ,equal share of property/jewellery etc etc . if no , then how u r dealing with that ? i mean hv u complained abt that or uve come to terms with this unfairness.