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Crush Issue..

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Gbsy, Jul 16, 2019.

  1. Gbsy

    Gbsy Senior IL'ite

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    A little background..

    I know him since 3 years.. Initially I didn't notice that he had crush on me, later I realised and tried my best to restrict him as it hints him. My fate, later due to profession(true)* they shifted to our area, Now I grown crush on him due to his attitude. Again I increased the dose of staying away from him.

    Through this what am gonna say is, I could have made EMA/Confession in any of those stages. Now issue is maybe, taking lot of pain as I lost him permanent. This is a healing face, thought avoidance is not helping me, adding more stress.

    So what I felt is better to share with someone and accept this phase to let it heal. Yeah in peak mental pressure, I feel to confess(not convey) about this to him. I know consequences will turn to worst or peel of my integrity.

    I need uplifting suggestions to come out, EMA, Divorce not even in my circle of thoughts.

    Again have a lovely family that no one can imagine
     
  2. Gbsy

    Gbsy Senior IL'ite

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    That's a lovely reply @SGBV, made me smile ;)

    My attention towards him due to his attitude, I had given very less chances to meet, in those 15 to 20mins itself he used to impress me(unintentionally) with his opinions. That had hit me badly
     
  3. Sandyr46

    Sandyr46 Finest Post Winner

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    U emphasize "Again have a lovely family that no one can imagine"

    So if ur ok to put that thought behind n confess do it. Nobody can predict the repurcussions. End of day its ur call to make..
     
  4. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    What are the qualities your husband lacks that attracted you to this guy ?
    Is this guy worth it that you will be willing to give up on your marriage and kids ?
    Is he willing to give up his marriage to make a life with you ?
    Are you both ok being judged for breaking families and innocent hearts to be together ?
    If you get together , can you sleep at night without any guilt of having cheated?
    More importantly, why is the spark missing in your marriage ?
    Ask yourself these questions first and then decide if you want the confession.
     
    Amica, shravs3 and lavani like this.
  5. Gbsy

    Gbsy Senior IL'ite

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    First question is enough for me to think, rest all those made me smile as 'Lol leaving DH for him'

    Yh maybe my DH lack few, I'm also not perfect. But see now I'm thinking about someone, but my gut feeling he don't do like me atleast spending such time.

    DH not gem of a person, but a gem in loving no one can compete with him. @SinghManisha
     
  6. lavani

    lavani Gold IL'ite

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    It is not childish. This more serious than just a fling.

    You are emotionally attached to him. Sorry this is 1000 times more dangerous than a 1 night stand. I would not share this with spouse. because i do not know the outcome, he could loose trust on you and that goes south very fast or he will be open to laugh about it, ONLY if you have let GO.

    . It was very mature of your to share your feelings in here.

    you know very well , that you are not ok with breaking your family.

    then only way to come out of it, ZERO contact from him. Sorry that is how i feel it would go. It will hurt like anything, and you would have to put extra effort in making new memories with your family.

    since you seem like quite mature to know the consequences. there is no point in going on about it.
     
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  7. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    Stick to the gem then ! Don’t waste your time on rocks !

     
  8. lavani

    lavani Gold IL'ite

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    somehow i never agree on DH lacking anything. i have been married for 10 years. lacking means i am comparing against something. then i also lack and suck in a lot of places.

    we are who we are. people don;t change, unless something terrible happens. you have a normal family. that is more than anyone can ask for.
     
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  9. SaiKiran1

    SaiKiran1 Junior IL'ite

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    u still didn't lost if you have his contact, try contacting him as a total stranger who bumped up accidentally that way you can fulfill your crush at least by interacting him.
     
  10. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    :roflmao:.

    Sorry but this one made me laugh.

    OP - a big :nono::nono: for this idea.
    Best is you have shared your feelings here .

    Uplifting suggestions :
    • Don't contact him .
    • Don't think about him.
    • Remove him from your social media.
    • Erase his contact number
    • Enjoy life.
     
    Sunshine04, SinghManisha and shravs3 like this.

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