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Crush Issue..

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Gbsy, Jul 16, 2019.

  1. Gbsy

    Gbsy Senior IL'ite

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    Good evening..

    Issue maybe childish but I'm stressed, need to vent out to someone. I'm married have 2 children. Unfortunately/my foolishness I'm having deep crush on one person since an year(I know him since 3years) which went to deeper.

    In the beginning i didn't realised that I'm building crush and going to deeper. I tried my at my most best to stay away from him since few months and succeeded but butterflies still remained inside. 1 month back they left the city, I couldn't able to take the pain, sometimes heart is urging to convey him :(, just weeping inside :(

    Married life is great. Please guide me.
     
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  2. Sandyr46

    Sandyr46 Finest Post Winner

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    Dear, hope the butterflies have all flown out by now since the 'crush' party has left. Please focus on ur husband n kids since ur married life is still great (touchwood) and everything is still fine. Please bury all these unwanted thoughts and try to cultivate some new hobbies to stay occupied.
     
  3. Gbsy

    Gbsy Senior IL'ite

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    Me too trying my best by occupying with something, but those intentional avoidance piling up, stressing much after some point. I'm worried that it may lead for confession. Wanna relieved from this. @Sandyr46
     
  4. DDream

    DDream Platinum IL'ite

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    OP, you can decide what you want: 1) happy married life (2) EMA with crush. Only one at a time.


    These crushes can happen anytime in one's life. I dont consider that as fault. It can be friends, movie starts or celebrities or even strangers. As long it stays in one' mind and it brings smiles its harmless. But when the other person also interested. It became an affair. If you dont want your married life get a divorce and go after crush. But crossing the boundary of marriage is not acceptable. Only you can control your mind . So take a break and think with calm mind. If you want your married life , stop all contact with your crush, focus on the positives of your life and spend more time with dh and your family.
     
  5. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 Finest Post Winner

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    You are making your crush turn into "lover" with your thoughts?

    In most cases crush is one sided infatuation. See meaning below "especially someone unattainable" .
    upload_2019-7-16_18-24-13.png

    No harm in having crush . I have on Virat Kohli !
    But your case there is something more than crush when you say "going to deeper".
    Your urge to convey him seems to be a not so great idea.

    Share it with your girlfriends and laugh about it or if your hubby is your best friend share it with him .

    Do not share it with the crush itself . Doesn't look like a matured idea for me given that you have mentioned about a great married life.
     
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  6. Gbsy

    Gbsy Senior IL'ite

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    Dear,

    EMA, Divorce,affair just big words for my situation. My present issue is I need to vent somewhere to overcome and gunshot suggestion to pull me out. Memories bashing me like anything. @DDream
     
  7. Gbsy

    Gbsy Senior IL'ite

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    @Anusha2917 seems I need to vent it out to calm down mystress which gonna question of my integrity :(

    I don't have such matured friends :( and don't wanna be judged.
     
  8. Angela123

    Angela123 Silver IL'ite

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    Gbsy,

    Acknowledge that it is a crush. People have crush on other people and it is natural. It might be a quality you would like to see in your ideal partner that makes you crush on another person. But don't you think you are going a little too far by thinking about conveying this to the crush? Crush is a crush when it stays crush and it is sweet.
    It probably is not worth taking the risks that come with it considering you have a great marriage. Please don't grill me for this :blush: but : Would you be able to tell your husband this? if you guys are really close, it will be fun discussing this!! After all its only a crush!
     
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  9. Roar

    Roar Gold IL'ite

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    I understand completely. Not sure if it got into physical relationship but Emotional Affair is actually worse ( got close to EA once).

    It feels like you are 20 again, it feels like you are losing something if you don't persue. It feels like meth. Its addictive.

    But....how many people who have addictions thank life for what they have left with?. The reason...
    THE LOWS.

    Realise that how much ever you take this ahead, it will end. When it ends, it will be a disaster, all things you have taken for granted will crumble right before your eyes. You will have to explain to your grown children what you did for their trust issues to crop up. It will make you lose your own respect for you ( leave alone others).

    I thank my epiphany for the life I have now. It was Emotional Affair for 5 months and it took me 18 months of repeating the above paragraph and total no contact to get over.

    I feel free. No I don't have a perfect life, but I am not living a lie. I can sleep at night. I honestly told my husband and surprisingly he forgave. He said he knew me.

    Get out.. NOW.
     
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  10. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    Oh no!

    I had a serious crush with one of my on-line friend, whom worked closely with many of my colleagues before. So, we had a better chance to meet up once I return back to home. I was worried a lot, as I knew he too have a crush on me and he was open about it.
    I have a very stable marriage now, with all the great blessings. So, I seriously didn't want to bring this matter as a disturbance anyway. And I was treading it cautiously too. But my stupid heart knows no boundaries, you know!
    Then I happened to watch one of Vijay Devarakonda movie. That's it. I developed a very serious crush on him and that helped to almost forget the other crush ;)
    Then only I realized the difference between a crush and a love affair. I am glad that I did not confess my feelings to this guy or anyone; hence it was easy for me to bury everything inside as a dream.
    Now a days, I see him and occasionally interact with him too. But I don't feel any butterflies in my stomach anymore. I dont even consider him as a friend either.

    Btw, my present crush is Eoin Morgan - The England cricket caption. Can't stop watching his stylish play and other videos since the WC beginning. Hope this too shall pass :)
     
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