1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Could an idli make a decision in your life!!!!

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by manjukps, Dec 14, 2011.

  1. manjukps

    manjukps IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    1,736
    Likes Received:
    2,340
    Trophy Points:
    300
    Gender:
    Female
    Could an idli (south indian any time favourite) make a decision in your life?:crazy Crazy, right!! Well, it made in mine. Ok not only mine but ours.

    Ours was a typical arranged marriage. The formality of making sojji and bajji from the time immemorial during the occasion of ponnu paarthal (ceremonial bride and groom seeing each other) was followed without any deviation. My grandpa’s paternal aunt’s (my great grand aunt) ordered to make idlis also and bajji with plantains sliced lengthwise. When my aunt objected the decision of making idlis instead of just sojji and bajji as the outcome is not known, Pop!! Came her reply - How come they won’t like our Manju?! (What a confidence!!) We need to show them how hospitable we are. (Not slipping an opportunity to show our hospitality and generosity too).:)

    The ritual of ponnu Paarthal with 7 relatives of groom and 10 relatives of mine took place. For both of us it was the first such tensed moments. :shaking: I played “bandu reethi kolu “ in veena and my long pleated hair was checked whether it was real by one of his inquisitive aunts. My great grand aunt’s confidence won:thumbsup. Our marriage was after four months of our engagement. Like now we didn’t have much means of communication. No internet. No mobiles. Not even pagers. As a matter of fact they had their phone connection on the day of our engagement. We didn’t have even that. We used my grandpa’s who was residing just behind our house. After engagement we met twice before marriage in midst of family members before he left to Mumbai to take up his new assignment.

    All was well until he asked me whether I really like him? Did anybody ask me whether this guy is ok for me? after our wedding when we were trying to know each other. I was little amused but gathered my guts to tell him, that even I was not ready to get married (I was 22) so soon, but since our fathers were colleagues (13 years before our wedding. No contacts in between), both families had a strong feeling that it would be nice if we get married. Also his father knows astrology who strongly believed that we surely will get married. Things happened so fast and after he satisfactorily answered my three questions during our permitted private chat around an hour, I really didn’t find any reason to reject (too frank na :redface:). So when my aunt asked me whether they could serve idlis to them, I said yes.

    He threw me the next shock that he was never asked this question by anybody at his home, proceeded to have discussions on wedding arrangements. He was very much surprised and even a bit irritated to see everybody happily satisfying their appetite (as if he wasn’t) after the ceremonial bride seeing got over while he didn’t have slightest idea of getting married when he came home from Bhobal to spend 2 weeks before joining his new job. As far as he knew, his parents were searching groom for his younger sister and his opinion was never sought about his preparedness or how the bride of him should be. In fact he came to know that his marriage proposal was already on only on his arrival the previous day. (Me: How come he was not updated as this high drama of scrutinizing the horoscopes was going on for a month by four astrologers including my fil)

    I was stubbornly replying him that his father did ask him whether they can have idli after we had a chat. I also upraised that he said yes for that, which indicated his acceptance. Doesn’t he remember I was asked to serve him when he asked for more idlis. He snapped back, “what would that mean? How an acceptance to eat idli would indicate that I am ok with you? You were also asked to serve idlis but not asked if you liked me?” I started getting worried, in my mind all that arrangements of marriage, expenses and my parents’ faces were flashing:roll:. My inner voice asked him if he had not liked me he could have told his parents even after going home so that the engagement would not have happened or otherwise even after engagement he had ample time to say so. Why he didn’t dare to? Was he obedient or afraid?!! whether he likes me or not was oscillating in my mind. I was seriously praying all Gods not to let my parents down.:help. My face showed my mind.

    Much to my relief, he added, luckily he liked me very much, my long hair attracted him at the first sight of it, and also he found me sensible during the chat blah blah blah... He didn’t raise any questions to my in-laws for the fear of missing me if he postponed his decision or marriage, but still could not understand how a simple idli implied a decision of his life:bonk.

    I burst laughing :rotfl on hearing this as it suddenly struck me that he might be ignorant of the indicator his father mentioned to my parents (who in turn to me) and his family members that if only the groom and bride liked each other they will eat anything salted in our house. Otherwise they would only have sweet and coffee to respect our hospitality. My fil felt that directly saying a “no” by either side will hurt each other (What an idea fil ji!!). That is why he had asked my deeeeaaaaar hubby whether they can have idli forgetting the fact he came from Bhopal just the previous day and nobody had told him this indicator.

    Later I asked my sil about this and my sil replied with a glee in her face, “Why we should have asked? We had to do all sorts of signals and dances from the window behind you to tell him how long it has been. Did he chat for such long time without liking you?? In my whole life he had not talked to me continuously for more than 10 minutes.”

    After this incident definitely idlis kindles this nice memory. Whenever some arguments erupts between us I will say “after all you married me just because you ate idlis at my home. At least in next janma think before you eat” which eases our temper. :2thumbsup:

    Additional info: My sil’s engagement was fixed on the same day of our wedding, groom being her cousin himself to everybody’s pleasant surprise.
     
    36 people like this.
    Loading...

  2. GeethaMR

    GeethaMR Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    314
    Likes Received:
    75
    Trophy Points:
    68
    Gender:
    Female
    Simply superb description Manju. It had me hooked straight till the end. The complete visual was in front of me, the relatives and the household....

    So many items have thoughts and memories attached with them. They then come to our mind like rain on a dry day and mesmerise us again. Maybe everytime you eat it, do you pull your Dh's legs?? :)

    Now you have ignited my hunger pangs:hide:
     
  3. vidukarth

    vidukarth Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,321
    Likes Received:
    988
    Trophy Points:
    208
    Gender:
    Female
    i really loved ur post..
     
  4. IlovemyMom

    IlovemyMom Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    534
    Likes Received:
    298
    Trophy Points:
    138
    Gender:
    Female
    Wow.........so nice......Had i read your post before 3 yrs may be would have followed the same.
     
    1 person likes this.
  5. Vennella

    Vennella Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    375
    Likes Received:
    364
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    manjukps,

    that was such an awesome anecdote!
     
  6. jaykay

    jaykay Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    204
    Likes Received:
    45
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Gender:
    Female
    Very nice post Manjuji. Forgive me but my imagination ran wild and I was picturing this situation in three different ways

    First with Vijayakumari and SSR
    Second with Mohan and Nalini
    And finally with Jothika and Madhavan

    Very well written! Brought a smile to my face......wishing you happiness always!
     
    1 person likes this.
  7. Special

    Special Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    776
    Likes Received:
    82
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Gender:
    Female
    Very nice write up...i was able to visualize the entire scene :)
     
  8. Mahanu

    Mahanu Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    451
    Likes Received:
    133
    Trophy Points:
    95
    Gender:
    Female
    Nice narration. Enjoyed your writing thoroughly.
     
  9. ArunaRSanthosh

    ArunaRSanthosh Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,282
    Likes Received:
    764
    Trophy Points:
    215
    Gender:
    Female
    nice and interesting post..
     
  10. manjukps

    manjukps IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    1,736
    Likes Received:
    2,340
    Trophy Points:
    300
    Gender:
    Female
    Thank you Geetha for your first feedback. Glad to know it hooked you straight. As all went on well the incident is always a breeze in my mind. Though initial married life had all its tumbles and twists, his feeling of not to miss me has given me a moral boost to overcome all those.

    Oh! the items at this occasion was made nothing by my great grand aunt(she must have been over 75 at that time). For my engagement she herself made the traditional 'maaladu' with home roasted gram dhal in a size of acoconut and a typical 'thirunelveli monoharm'. She just wiped off the hot jaggery syrup with a wet cloth when it spilled over hand and proceeded the procedure of making it. It was astonishing how they had such a will power!!

    Sorry if I have set your hunger pangs to a high flame now.

    Regards
    Manjukps
     
    2 people like this.

Share This Page