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Cost Of Maintaining Two Old People

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by mimi77, Jun 6, 2018.

  1. mimi77

    mimi77 Gold IL'ite

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    How much does it cost to run a family of 5 in a semi town in India?.. . My in-laws draw a monthly MIS of around Rs. 5000....They live in their own house and contribute the amount towards household expenses.... My BIL and his family live with them.... Often they complain that this money is not enough and we should increase our contribution.....how much does it cost to maintain two people in a semi town? They keep no maids or servants for help. Medicine and health insurance cost borne by us. .....pls share your ideas so that we exactly know by how much we increase our contribution
     
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  2. Sweety82

    Sweety82 Gold IL'ite

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    Acc. to me, Rs. 5000 is less only. I have been in a middle class setup and i can understand. Not keeping maids is a plus because maids demand so much of money here. whether u decide to increase ur contribution or not is ur decision. but u cannot do much with the prescribed amount. Its very less. acc. to me i think ur ILs are asking for genuine reasons only. groceries just for two costs around Rs. 4500/- which includes everything for the whole month. but atleast some money should be there to buy veggies and fruits and daily needs.
     
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  3. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

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    At first I thought 5000 is less , then i realised it's a semi/ small town and they have own house .so we have to calculate by cost of living , ur husband salary & whay you can afford . I have seen couples in small towns , earning 15000 and living very good life after paying 7000 rent for big house , 5000 can cover household expenses excluding medical costs .
    What seems like a lot for someone seems very.less for some other family with higher income level and metro city . A person can adjust and survive on any amount but a person should give more to parents as per capacity .
    So if u & DH are well off , pls give money for maid and cook for Ur MIL , as she is too old to cook for 5 people . If u having any financial issues , then just have Frank talk directly with your PILs what u can't afford.

    All children's contribution should be equitable . The BIL is taking care physically , providing security by compromising on privacy of his wife . No matter how much monetsry or household help one can get staying with parents , loss of privacy and freedom for a young couple can't be compensated . So at least try to match your BILs contribution by giving more financially to avoid resentment , and keep family relations good . This will avoid problems for u in future .Telling with best intentions .
     
    Last edited: Jun 6, 2018
  4. mimi77

    mimi77 Gold IL'ite

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    Yeah true..... We live separately in a metropolis and cost of living here is very high.... Of course we do whatever little we can.... But can't stretch ourselves too much.... BIL and family do not have to pay rent and since they live in a joint family set up the cost of living is also less as compared to us.... Plus they get all free service of maid, cook etc.... So balance should be adjusted from their end.... Don't know why MIL is asking from us.... Plus all property will be given to the elder son.... Sometimes I feel they are jointly exploiting us and playing with our emotions but the next moment I feel situation may be a genuine one
     
  5. mimi77

    mimi77 Gold IL'ite

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    No BIL and his wife are not a young couple.. .They are older than us and their only son is in the 10th grade..... Hence privacy is not an issue with them. ... However they somehow disturb my in-laws privacy since tuitions go on since morning and students keep coming and going the entire day.....Fact is they are not transparent and always acts as a team defending each other and there is always some or the other reason found to attack me and my husband... . Hence never can we set up a constructive discussion and come up with an amicable solution
     
  6. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

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    Just because they r saving on house rent and household help , doesn't mean it's not a real loss of privacy & bonding opportunity for the couple . Plus freedom too for the DIL to be herself , wear comfortable clothes at home, have a good social life , make sudden plans with husband or to just feel at home . V.difficult for 2 generations to live together . Trust me they will always have resentment.
    So in ur best interest try to match contribution financially atleast . If they were expecting too much I might have advised u otherwise , u are not contributing enough .Pls try to pay atleast for maid and cook .

    Everything is not abt property .Do u think if parents don't have property , their children should neglect them? Keep balanced attitude .Don't do things at cost of ur fin security but do a decent amt for parents

    That said I don't know ur family relationship If they harass u in any major way , or if they don't want u to contribute anything for ur own parents , then I will not judge u for being bitter about responsibilities - afterall we r all human .But always remember MIL is ur husband's mom & have sympathy.
     
    Last edited: Jun 6, 2018
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  7. armummy

    armummy Platinum IL'ite

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    5000 is very less .


    Even one gas cylinder will eat a significant amount of that amount .
     
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  8. mangaii

    mangaii Finest Post Winner

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    Personally I would say 5000 is less. Is it possible for you to create a budget with them so you know clearly how much money they need . You need to clearly differentiate the expense of your in-laws and BIL family. Will it work out better if they come and stay with you ?
     
  9. mimi77

    mimi77 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Nakshatra... Thanks for your kind advice... As far as relationship goes, it wasn't great in the beginning and I faced harassment from my MIL, but now the relationship is not so much strained.... They were not cooperative when my daughter was small and I needed help .....Now that I don't call them often she is OK with me.... Many times I've told them to come and live with us, but for obvious reasons they want to live in their own house
     
  10. mangaii

    mangaii Finest Post Winner

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    Another option - Is it possible for your in-laws to sell any of their properties other than the house ? They can FD and get interest . Is it something they will be willing to do ? I appreciate you trying your best to accommodate their needs. One thing I have realized is after we have kids it is hard for us to related to expenses of our own parents. The cost of living has become so high it always feel like you never have enough.
     

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