Corporate Lingo!

Discussion in 'Working Women' started by uma, Mar 25, 2006.

  1. uma

    uma Senior IL'ite

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    How many of us walked into companies without knowing this!

    COMPETITIVE SALARY: We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

    JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY: We have no time to train you.

    CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE: We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

    MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED: You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

    SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED: Some time each night and some time each weekend.

    DUTIES WILL VARY: Anyone in the office can boss you around.

    MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL: We have no quality control.

    CAREER-MINDED: Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

    APPLY IN PERSON: If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.

    NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE: We have filled the job. Our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

    SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE: You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

    PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST: You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

    REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS: You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
     
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  2. Kamla

    Kamla IL Hall of Fame

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  3. nirupama

    nirupama New IL'ite

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    Your post really conveys - BEWARE

    Hi Uma,

    Good post. It really conveys - BEWARE - before taking the decision to join a company attracted by such slogans!

    "CAREER-MINDED: Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way)."

    I coule especially relate to the above one with Indian companies. I know an incidence with one of my colleagues...when she got pregnant and approached her boss for a long leave during her 1st trimester, he commented, "you joined this company and in a year got married and in the next year now you are pregnant. I don't know how much you contributed for the company to grow, but your personal life has been always growing".

    That made lots of female employees within our dept. think whether this company expects females to be spinsters & even if married childess, only then they can contribute???
     

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