Cool definitions!

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by pooja, Mar 25, 2006.

  1. pooja

    pooja New IL'ite

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    Interesting definitions....!

    1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other.
    2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
    3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
    4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage
    5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
    6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
    7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
    8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ..
    9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.
    10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
    11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
    12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
    13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
    14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
    15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
    16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
    17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
    18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
    19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
    20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
    21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
    22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
    23. Optimist : A person who while falling from
    Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
    24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
    25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
    26. Father : A banker provided by nature.
    27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
    28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
    29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
    30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
     
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  2. meenaprakash

    meenaprakash Silver IL'ite

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    real cool.

    Hi Pooja,

    your post was really cooool & interesting.
    good one, dear.
     

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