I deliberated over the pros of posting this here. But finally decided i don't have any thing to loose. So here goes. I will be 37 in a matter of weeks and my husband is 4.5 yrs elder to me. After my daughter was born my DH declared he did not want another child and I resigned myself to it. When my child was one year old, I got pregnant accidentally. The totally unexpected situation coupled with other factors like horrible morning sickness, no one for help in a foreign country (no relatives,friends ,maids), My DH's habit of constantly criticizing my parenting skills ( it bugged me so much that i even contemplated self harm), an infant to care for - made me decide to terminate it. My DH was not sure what to do when i conceived. He did try to talk me out of ending it and relented when I asked me how he proposed I manage ( his options were - u will manage somehow and go stay with my parents until the kids are older). Fast forward to now (2 yrs later), I find myself wanting another kid. The guilt of terminating the pregnancy has caught me off-guard on and off these past 2 years. It has only increased instead of reducing over time. went to a doctor and got base line tests done .They came out fine. I discussed this with my husband .But he flatly refuses to consider having another child (at his advanced age,according to him).I have tried reasoning with him sighting examples of couples who have had kids at an older age, how much fun it will be if our DD were to have a sibling, my willingness despite the age related risks. Nothing has worked. On the other hand, he has reduced the frequency of intimacy and is now travelling on business more often than before. I know that despite his reluctance, once I conceive, he will be ready for the child. But considering how sporadic intimacy is at present(that may change ) I don't see that as a possibility. Note: I forgot to add that he thinks i am self centered ( I concede that there is some truth to it) and wants everything to happen at my convenience. According to him, now that I am ready , he is expected to comply. What should I do in this situation? Suck it up and live since it is mostly situation of my own making? Is there anyway I can convince him?