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Confused

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Marriages, Jul 15, 2016.

  1. Marriages

    Marriages Junior IL'ite

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    Hi All ! How are you dear Indusladinairs doing ?
    Well if you have read my earlies posts. Or for me to brief , I am in a marriage where I have been fooled and harmed psychologically financially by husband and his parents .
    I came back to my H house after 3 months , ofcourse my H or inlaws dint call me back . It was okayish for 15 days , but it's back to the mental torture my H has always given me by not talking at all to me.
    I am confused , in this state , which is , he is hospitalised , has dressing on his bum where he can't even see , but refuses to let me do his dressing or refuses to take any help from me .
    ( we are both alone in Germany )
    It's okay . I can ignore it.
    But I feel totally disconnected with him , I feel no love no emotions no physical emotional financial nothing .
    Coz of the disconnect I don't feel like making love with him . I call it sex now not love making coz there is no connect.
    I sincerely don't feel like making love with a man with whom I feel no connect .
    Please suggest , will this (no sex ) bring this torn relationship down or if I tell him when there is respect and love in this marriage then we can make
    Love . ( I strongly feel I do not want family with him - where less I wanted 3 kids all my life )
    Friends please suggest write back , waiting to hear from you all ! God Blsss!
     
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  2. justanothergirl

    justanothergirl IL Hall of Fame

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    And u went back because ........?
     
    coffeecups likes this.
  3. somsar2014

    somsar2014 Silver IL'ite

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    I have not read your earlier posts. I am writing strictly on the basis of whatever you have written in the instant post.
    If your write up is fully descriptive of the present state of your relation with your husband, I don't think it has reached a point of no return. I have found several positives in your husband, which can help to regain a very warm relation if you are willing and game enough.

    [QUOTE I am confused , in this state , which is , he is hospitalised , has dressing on his bum where he can't even see , but refuses to let me do his dressing or refuses to take any help from me .[/QUOTE]
    This indicates, he is quite sentimental, egoist, deeply shocked for some reason and not ready to take your assistance or your help which was not coming from your heart according to his feelings. I don't know whether his feeling are wrongly placed, as I have not read your earlier posts. Still , I feel, however much muscular or physically strong a man can be, but even the physically strongest man likes to enjoy mothering, and the best if it comes from wife. You need to decide whether you wanted to help him just for formality or a show off or it was a call of your heart?

    He is not speaking to you. But I see in your brief, he had not misbehaved with you either or physically abused you. That's quite sweet and he will be missing you badly provided there is proper ignition,.

    [QUOTE But I feel totally disconnected with him , I feel no love no emotions no physical emotional financial nothing .
    Coz of the disconnect I don't feel like making love with him . I call it sex now not love making coz there is no connect.
    I sincerely don't feel like making love with a man with whom I feel no connect .
    Please suggest , will this (no sex ) bring this torn relationship down or if I tell him when there is respect and love in this marriage then we can make
    Love . ( I strongly feel I do not want family with him - where less I wanted 3 kids all my life )
    .[/QUOTE]

    I fully agree with you, there are big differences between sexing and making love. Making love is a human interaction while sexing is animal-like urge only. But is it only him , that is responsible for all the ills in your relations ? Had you introspected , you did not have any responsibility. In fact you haven't said anything. So, you should decide whether the relation has gone out of the scope of retrieval.

    You may feel, I am accusing you from the very first word. You know what? You concern for the relation has made me feel you are in a state of confusion. It does not take much to break a relation. But for the sake f your three children, I feel, you need him. If you are not pushed hard, you may not get the impetus. By supporting you I can just help in my way to harm you only.

    Best of luck. Wish you a happy rebuilt conjugal life.
     

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