Confused with husbands online affaire,phone calls and lies.

Hi Mitra,

First of all whenevr u see such email,before he deletes just forwrd to another account of ur's for back-ups or someday he will blame to ur in-laws that u r just bluffing.
I think u both need counselling.For ur hubby for doing all this & for u to stand up firm.First of all if u r not sure whether to continue ur relationship or not with this man,please give urself time for bring up baby.There should be love in the relationship from both the side.How can he say & justify that he is not attracted to u & hence doing such things.
Be independent & strong.Dont be at some one's mercy.I can understand that u want things to fall in place ,ur hubby,baby n all.But before that u must correct ur hubby's behaviour.

 

I had just recently posted a similar issue i was facing,when i found my husband had contact numbers of some 'business' girls. I still dont know if he has/had any affairs since our marriage because 1)he would never leave such things to chance like your hubby who had given you all passwords etc 2)i do not have the necessary skill to snoop and 3) he has always been soo good to me that i never doubted he could lie or have extra marital affair though he is very handsome and i have known that he has been getting frequent attention from women.

Like you we too had an IVF attempt but was a failure.Now bcause i am going thrugh the 'discover my husband' phase, i am glad it was a failure.

Having said this,coming to you issue, I feel the following

1)Please DO NOT HAVE A CHILD till you are reasonably confident that your husband is comitted to you and want to raise a family with you.Afterall you would not want a person whom you do not trust to be the father of your child.Things will only complicate further with kids in the picture

2)Financial independence is essential even if it is not career specific.For the time being try to focus on your self esteem and development and confidence.

3)Dont get all over him. GIve him space and more importantly step back and give yourself space.Its not easy, i know.You just want to burst out all the time but it wont help. Get a grip girl. Dont lose your dignity weeping and pleading and fighting with him all the time.

4)Respect yourself and try to deal with it maturely.I wouldnt advice separation immediately. After a few months , after you have started earing and have started to lead a life(pursue your hobbies) which is not 100% revolving around your husband, you can analise things better. At that stage if you feel he is not worth your love and loyalty, discuss it with your parents before your think of doing anything drastic like divorce.

5)Dont lose hope. THings are definitely going to improve. Believe in it and work accordingly. Just be careful to not let extreme emotions dictate your actions. In such times of emotional distress, make use of your head more .Rely on yourself the most.

Good luck dear

 

chaitranya

Check the date its a very old post...

 

OOOOoooops!! Thanks prettina. Just realized how to check the date of the post.Still learning .

 

Its ok dear...Keep Learning..