Confused Please Help

Staying there might be a problem but its not current issue. You have a baby and wants to save amount thats the main reason you guys are planning for job. Sis is just another reason. What would you do if she looks for job there in new city. WIll you again change the location.Nahh..So its you who wants money for growing children. If you sacrifices 2 months everything comes normal .So then y not. In this market i dont hope u get a job soon at same place.So better shift and get peace.Come twice ina month or ask ur hubby 2 come 2 new place. so that u can see the kid.Problem solved

 

I think you should take the offer as you have gap. If possible search near by daycare also once you settle in office and keep baby with you, if it takes more time than expected for your h relocate to your place

 

How sure are u that ur H will join u in one or two months? Did he get an offer already? If there are strong chances for him, then delay ur joining date by 2 weeks to minimize the gap. What will be ur plan of action for SIL? Will she continue in same house or will shift to somewhere else?

 

Pls dont leave your 18 month baby with a nanny as your primary caretaker while you work in a difft state and your hubsnd is away at work for 8 hrs a day.This setup may be more appropriate if your husband is willing to work from home.

In this day and age of news stories reporting ghastly things happening to babies while in the full time care of nannies, i shudder to think of leaving a wee baby alone like that with a stranger.

Licensed day care is a different thing & a better option But tbh parents are better of being in driving distance or being able to see the baby every 4-5 hrs.

 

Take the kid and a reliable nanny with you if possible. If not, take the kid before you join the new work place, and find a good nanny in the new place and let both of them have some good time at your supervision before you actually leave them together for work.

Or look for good day care centers for young babies like yours in the city where you are gonna be appointed.
Try the kid in the day care for few days well before you join the work place. So that you can see how much he is getting adopted there.
You can help him slowly to adopt to the day care, before you dump him there full time.

This way, you can at least be with the kid after office hrs. Since it is gonna be just you and the kid (and possibly the nanny), you wouldn't be find it difficult to manage.
You may relax your cooking style and chores as per your own timing.
Also, it is not permanent. So, until your H reunites you all, you could manage this way.

Find an annex or an apartment where you could find people who could somewhat relate to you. Eg: Indian or Asian community.
And start mingling with them. It helps whenever you need an helping hand during emergencies.

Forget about SIL for now. Your permanent shifting will end her stay with you all. The moment your H moved to your city, his sister will find an accommodation and remain there. Don't complicate your mood with her thoughts for now.

 

Hi sapna, yes its a big decision and i can understand why it is so hard for you to choose what to do. Moving to another city makes sense. It will more or less reduce your problems to half! If i were you I would go ahead and take up the new job in the other city. Kids especially as small as 18months old dont have any concept of days gone by and he will adapt well when you are gone. And when he sees you after 3 months..you guys will pick up exactly where you left off. you are so lucky that your husband is being supportive of your decision.
My only concern is his job? will he be able to find a suitable job in the same city? If that is not a concern - you should just go ahead - blindfolded! You child will be just fine. and it is just the question of 60 days! they will fly by.