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Confused Life - I Dont Think I Can Go Forward

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by star90new, Jun 5, 2018.

  1. Sweety82

    Sweety82 Gold IL'ite

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    How old are you? Pls tell me. U are so sensitive and ur confidence levels are very low. Pls do not continue with this mindset. Life will always have ups and downs. U have to have some matured mind to get adjusted with the current situation. Please answer my Qs. If my way of advice is wrong iam sorry. because u are the person who is undergoing and anyone can only advice accordingly.
    1. Is ur H workaholic?
    2. Is ur H alcoholic?
    3. Does ur H spends his full time in the office?
    4. Does ur H always takes food from outside?
    5. Does ur H has the habit of hanging around ladies?
    6. Does ur H anytime physically abused u?
    If yes for the 1st Q he can be changed. If Yes for the 2nd question, u have to take serious steps to change him to come out of this. If yes for the third question, that can be changed. If yes for the 4th question, that too can be changed. If yes for the fifth question, u should think about living away from ur H. If yes for the 6th Q, again u should think about living away from ur H. Why iam asking this is i would like to know ur problem levels. do not waste ur life thinking about the ppl around and what they say about ur employment. brush aside and move forward. From Qs 1 to 4, u can change. It needs ur patience and determination to change ur H. It depends on you and how u handle ur way of life and ur thought process. Nothing is easy in life. i have read many of ur threads and ur problem is ur low CONFIDENCE level. U can reach ur mans heart through cooking.
     
  2. star90new

    star90new Bronze IL'ite

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    Thanks for the response Sweety82
    I am 27..
    1.. I don't know .. how do I rate him?
    2.. Nope.. he doesnt drink or smoke (drinks .. maximum 2 times a year)
    3.. not full time in office.. he works from home and office the same day..
    he will go for site visit and come back home and again work for sometime.
    4.. yes.. he doesnt take food from home. I try and remind him to eat fruits or salads. He hates driving and eating from home. He is not ready to take food to office like sandwich or home made granola bars.
    5.. hanging out with ladies.. not in my knowledge..
    6... physically abuses me when we argue .. donno how serious it is.. he tries and twists my hand when we argue .


    7. yes cooking yes.. he likes when I cook for him.. but he eats only on weekends.
     
  3. star90new

    star90new Bronze IL'ite

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    Even I feel a girl should be working to show people that shes smart enough. People keep judging through out our life. I wish I was immune to this . I get affected by their comments. I dnt know what to do about it.
    The place I am working is a manufacturing industry. Its always very dusty and lot too many chemicals are used here. I have exams to prepare for. Because of the work I am not able to prepare for the exams.
     
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  4. Sweety82

    Sweety82 Gold IL'ite

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    U Can change him. Pls seek help from family members
     
  5. star90new

    star90new Bronze IL'ite

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    my parents say to leave him alone and proceed with myjob.
    they don't care about his health .Same way his parents asks me to leave my job and look after him.'They don't care , they can also use this to disrespect me.
     
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  6. Sweety82

    Sweety82 Gold IL'ite

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    ok if they are of no use, try to make decisions by urself. why dont u just take decisions for u in a positive way. u r capable. just join him and try to make a beautiful family. every effort u put here will benefit u in future. Pls think. my best wishes.
     
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  7. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Gold IL'ite

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    Whatever decision you take u will be judged..
    Just do what you think is right..and seriously try for a job in your DH 's city..
    Even if it's a low paying one it would be a good solution for your issue..
    Your husband is an adult, he needs to take control of his health and make proper eating choices too...he should take a decision to apply for a different role which has less travel...everyone cannot blame you alone for all issues..
     
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  8. star90new

    star90new Bronze IL'ite

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    thats what is hard for me. I even asked my brother for advice but he doesnt care about my health. He is thinking of only about my present life. If I join him , I will get depressed at home till i get a job . I wish my husband called me back by saying about health so that I can expect some care from him.
     
  9. Sweety82

    Sweety82 Gold IL'ite

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    U take care of ur health.
    U take initiative to enquire about his health and join him.
    Sometimes we have to initiate on certain things to win over people. After u win u will be the boss. But it will take sometime till ur H understand u.
     
    goldenhoney87 likes this.
  10. Anisu

    Anisu Gold IL'ite

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    You are depending on someone to take decision on your behalf.This is not right.Sit alone for sometime and analyse the situation. After that you can come to a conclusion. When you analyse, you would also know the consequences. This helps in taking right decision.
     
    star90new likes this.

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