Confused and worried about DD's symptoms

Yazhlini · Nov 2, 2015

Friends,

My DD is 2 years old and has uneven development and I am so worried and confused about helping her.

*She says lots of words, knows alphabets, shapes, colors, count till 10, but unable to use any other interaction words.
*She is not able to follow where i point unless i tell the name of the object i point (Eg: she follows only when i say "water" when i point to her sipper).
*Imitates all the words we speak but doesnt understnd the meaning. Obeys or chooses to ignore when we say come go. But does not understand if we ask her to bring an object and hand it to us.
* Learns the names of pictures and objects very fast and has excellent memory but unable to remember people and address them. when we say "Who is this" and point to her granpa, and say "thatha". She repeats the same but next time when we ask her who is this, she will ignore or will not say thatha. Gets very confused about addressing people, she knows that she needs to use some word to call them only then they will turn back to her but confused what to call uses inappropriate words to call them.
* Imitates all the activities we do at home and applies them. Like if we use a cloth to open a tight bottle cap, she does the same method to open any other thing she is playing with.
*Smiles back when smiled at.
* gives hifi, flying kiss, kiss when asked.
* Can point to her own body parts and also others like toys, pictures etc.
* Points to things and tell their name when asked like apple, orange but does not use pointing to ask what she wants
* Asks for water in single word and also brings her sipper to me if its empty, brings me orange and ask me to peel, ask for biscuits, brings me things to open it for her.
* Started calling me "Amma" just a month back that too only when she wants me to look at her. But when somebody ask where is amma, she will not point to me even when I stand beside her.
* When I hide in front of her and ask "find where is amma" she will come looking for me. But when I hide without letting her know and if somebody asks her to find me, she will not look for me untill i call her name.
* Responds to her name almost all the time.
* Seems to have very little understanding for her age
* Makes very good eye contact.
* Gets very excited to see kids, calls them anna, akka, thambi, paapa when taught , runs to them and touches their cheeks and hands smiling. Gets too much excited to see small babies and keeps feeling their skin like cajoling them.
* Plays with kids only when they entertain her by dragging her to play otherwise ignores them after sometime.
* Very careful and cautious while walking in stairs or taking risk in wet floor.
* When she gets hurt she tries to convey that to me with a fake cry and wants me to soothe her
* Does not do any lining of toys and also tries to learn how to play with a toy and imitate the same when taught.
* Shows much interest in kitchen utensils - Pouring from one cup to anoither, closing nd opening cups, stirring with laddle- but doesnt seem to pretend cooking. She keeps wtchng me pouring milk and water for her and imitates it.

We made a mistake by exposing her to TV and Rhymes too much as she is a poor eater and wont open her mouth unless there is some distraction.

But for the past 2 months we stopped everything and she has shown great improvment with eye contact and response to her name and imitation skills and learning new words and everything except people skills like pointing to amma, appa and others when asked

We suspected her of ASD and check with a dev Ped a month back when she did not have many skills like now and she said she suspect her to be at the higher end of the spectrum. We came to india to see whether any chnage in the environment help her and she has improved a lot in the past one month. NOw we are so much confused about helping her.

I am able to sense something is wrong with her and unable to decide what kind of help she needs. I am worried about her understanding skills which is like an year old baby but at the other end she has excellent memory and learns pictures and objects very fast.

Unable to decide what kind of therapy would benefit her and how to develop her understanding skills.

After seeing her improvemnet in the past one month, my hubby and family members are thinking that stimulating environment is enoigh for her to get normal and she doesnt need any help. They are thinking about waiting for another 6 months and see how she is performing.

I am so much worried and believe some kind of help but unable to convince them.

We saw so many peds in coimbatore, they all said "she will do fine" because she makes good eye contact and smiles back at them. They are asking us to wait for atleast 6 to 9 months before making any diagnosis. They did not do any formal assessment.

They said like autistic children will not have much of imitation skills like her and they wont seem to notice what others are doing. they advice us to join her in a play group and stimulate her at home and she will catch up..

Hence my hubby is so stubborn that she doesnt need any therapic help but I am worried a lot.

Please pour your thoughts on this.

My major worry is about her uneven brain functioning and Will she catch up over time with people skills. Unable to find a way to help her

Yazhlini · Nov 2, 2015

So many views but No suggestions!!

ashwinid01 · Nov 3, 2015

Yazhlini, i dont understand what do you mean by "uneven brain functioning".Was it termed by any of the doctors?

guesshoo · Nov 3, 2015

Relax. She is 2. She seems to be doing well after you cut off screen time. I think she needs to learn to interact - tv is quite passive hence he perhaps hasn't learnt to interact.

I suggest you stop putting in meaningleas stuff like alphabet and colours and numbers into her head without context. Don't test her asking who someone is or what something is. Associate numbers and colours to objects. Eg. If there are 2 toys, state to her "look! 2 toy cars." Touch each car in turn. " One car.t wo cars. Shall we get the red one? " you pick the red one up. Show her slowly like that.

Make your interactions with her filled with meaning. Leave letters and alphabet alone for now. Get to it in 2 years' time. They hold no meaning to a child. As far as numbers go use your fingers to show number. Use toys, fruits etc. Show less and more. That will help her comprehend better.

If she doesn't seem to comprehend a question like who is this, don't wait for her to respond. You tell her. It is with repetition she will learn.

As far as pointing goes if you aren't doing it already, do u with context. Point and give her clues. "Look here on top of the table. There is an apple."

If you ask her a question, give her the answer too. First in your voice. "Where is the truck?" And in a baby voice "the truck is under the blanket, mummy" etc. She will certainly learn soon enough to interact.

Yazhlini · Nov 5, 2015

@ashwini
The dev ped said her skills development is uneven which is a red flag.. We took her to the doc when she was 23 months.. The doc just broke our heart straightaway by telling she is on the spectrum and referred us to autism clinic.. She told us not to do any kind of MRI scan chromosome test or anything and join her in an EIP.. Usually she is so scared of the hospitals and the mask thd doctor is wearing and never co operate for tests when we take her for fever.. She will start crying seeing the environment and her pulse rate will increase a lot when the nurse tries to test her..
We were so devastated with the doctors opinion and came to India fir vacation to get support from family..

Yesterday we checked with a child psychiatrist in Coimbatore and he said she makes good eye contact and looks good socially.. The problem must be because of understimulation and ask us to give her lot of exposure..
He said he will not call this autism.. And regarding understanding for some kids it takes time for understanding..

He said occupational therapy will help her overcome the sensory issues.. She now walks on toes after coming to India..

I am being paranoid as I notice lots of symptoms.. And google is just scaring me.. Little relieved from the positive replies from the docs in India..

Yazhlini · Nov 5, 2015

@guesshoo

Thank you so much for the tips. I will definitely implement them.. She now started showing lot of improvement after coming to India.. Here lots of family members there to entertain her like her cousin sis, bil, co sis.. She is not getting bored easily.. Milk was causing her lots stomach problems.. So we stopped milk and she has started to eat good.. Being positive.. Hope she catch up soon.. We have planned to enroll her in a play group nearby and stay here for few months to see her improvement.. She now uses lots of single words but double words is still hard for her except rhymes..

One thing I don't know how to stop.. She has got the habit of feeling the skin of others zzz like when she see her cousin undress after school she gets excited chases her and touches her stomach.. Same thing happens when we go out as well.. Any tip to stop this habit please..

life2015 · Nov 6, 2015

Hi Yazhlini,
I have a 2 yr old daughter with same symptoms. But she does not have any sensory issues or eating problems. The uneven brain development you mention is what I have experienced too. I too suspected Autism and had taken her to a developmental pediatrician here. For now she ruled out Autism but, at the same time we have a check up after 3 months and she would like to see definitive improvement in her as I have enrolled my daughter for speech therapy and now goes to a daycare too. Before, I was studying heavily for some exams hence did not do any activities with her. She was mostly addicted to TV. She din't follow commands and did not look where I was pointing at. But after 1 month of therapy now follows directions and looks where I point.

Anyways, the reason I am saying you this is to give you ideas on how you can help your daughter. Do you live in Singapore as it shows on your post? If so how are the speech therapy services there? You have to pay or are they free? In United states they are free of cost with a speech therapist coming in every week from the school district. It took them one month to gather all information and start therapy with her. At the same time I enrolled her in a daycare. My daughter's speech therapist does a great job at teaching both of us how to go about this issue and it has helped a lot! I have co-ordinated with her daycare people and asked them to help me with stuff the therapist has asked me to do with my daughter. So the co-ordination helps a lot.

On the other hand, I would suggest you to start your daughter in speech therapy as early as possible. She is 2+ yrs I believe. Now is your GOLDEN TIME. don't miss it. This age is the most important age for development if any delays are seen. Contact the early intervention program in Singapore and set up an appointment for evaluation with them. Usually it takes around a month. Till that time get her speech therapy in India itself. You will have to pay out of pocket but it will be worth it. Find out info on the side about therapy services in Singapore. If they are free of cost and you will be fine leaving the family support in India, then go back to Singapore. IF they are not free and you would like family support at this time then stay back in India provided you enroll her for speech therapy at the earliest. On the side consult a developmental pediatrician in India. It will be a long wait but they are more experienced with such issues than a child psychiatrist. The point is wherever you want to be India or Singapore, your child needs help and this is the BEST time for her to avail help and benefit the maximum from it.

The thing here in USA is, if we get a diagnosis of Autism from a doctor then ABA therapy is free and we can start as soon as possible. Looking at the symptoms you state, your daughter does have a suspicion of high-functioning Autism. So getting to a diagnosis and eventually helping her should be more important right now. Because if a child is Autistic ABA therapy is of more help than anything else and 2yrs is the perfect age. The tactile stimulation you mentioned is again a symptom of Autism combined with other things you brought up. So a suspicion is definitely there. Instead of listening to your relatives and denying the fact, please get help as soon as possible. If it's there, with therapies significant progress can be made. And if it's not there, you have nothing to loose with these therapies.

First things first, your child needs a developmental pediatrician assessment in India. He can guide you what therapies are available in India if you plan on staying back there. Next, start your child with speech therapy and occupational therapy at the earliest. Third, enroll your daughter in a daycare and see how she behaves there and co-ordinate with the teachers at daycare about the regular development of your child. IF Autism is being brought up by the dev.pediatrician, then ask him about ABA therapy and how you need to go about it.

hope this helps.

Thoughtful · Nov 6, 2015

Sorry to hear about your situation.

As far as therapies go, for a child like yours, being in india among lot of people and fast life is the best therapy. In western countries and even singapore, these things have to be created artificially and hence the need for a therapist.

Stay in india for a while if possible. Let her interact with relatives, play with other kids, go part time to playschool and take her to stores and around the neighborhood by walk and let her interact with the neighbors etc.

May all her limitations become her strength.

Yazhlini · Nov 6, 2015

Thank you so much for taking time to give so much details.. Hope your daughter is doing good now..
In our case te major fault is ours.. I started my work when she was 11 months old and left her with in laws.. It was hectic and I would return by 9 o clock, feed her and sleep and next day will go office even before she gets up.. Mil is occupied in chores most of the time and cannot run to feed her hence we started showing her rhymes and tv will be running in the background all th time.. My fil is the one who engaged her most of the time and he is deaf hence it's only one way communication.. He will e shouting alphabets and numbers continuously and she learnt them from him with repetition.. I resigned my job just 6 months back and couldn't get rid of her distraction habit,, milk was the reason for her eating problems.. Previously when I was not giving cows milk she was eating good.. Eating problems started only after I started giving milk.. Everyone insisted she needs calcium and her soft spot in the head is still big and not closed yet.. So I tried my best to make her drink milk and it bloated her tummy and made her avoid her routine foods as well.. She eats a variety of foods and textures.. We were very over protective of her initially, I hope that was the reason for her sensory issues.. Mil never let her do anything thinking she will get hurt.. She is a curious kid and explores the place.. Opening and closing drawers taking things out and trying to open things., they couldn't take her out as well.. she was liking bike rides at 1 and half years but now suddenly getting scared to go.. In the last 6 months, when we were staying in Singapore alone, I got sick thrice and she got sick whenever I got sick.. I was also weak and rhymes was the only thing to keep her calm..

When I took her out to park se will keep running and never try the slides in the park and will be scared if I put her on slide..

But when our new neighbour kid pulled her into slide she went behind her blindly without any fear and started going on slides without being scared..

The major fault is ours.. We also enquiried about the EIP services in SG.. They cogs too much as only my hubby is PR and we are not.. They cost around 100 $ per hour.. We would not be qualified for government services which is half the cost..

We saw a speech therapist here, they gave us so many tips to follow at home.. They said see for 2 months and if still no improvement then definitely she needs speech therapy.. We are implementing the tips, she is responding a bit to them..

I feel she will have better stimulation in India as we have so many people here..

I was begging hard to get EIP for her but in this week I am being little positive seeing her improvement and thinking to wait for 2 months atleast..

Even today before I started replying I asked her pointing to her teddy 'what it is' and she rightly said and she is able to follow where I point..

This tactile stimulation started only after coming to India.. She had the habit of sleeping on top of us on our tummy.. We are not allowing her now to do it.. She is having this much exposure to kids only now. before 6 months when she saw kids she would go to them and ask them something in baby language and she will come aside if they don't respond to her.. I feel her sensory issues started only in the past 6 months due to lack of exposure.. The last 6 months was like hell with lots of back to back health issues..

Please update on your daugther's progress.. And I will pray for her too.. Thanks..

Hosanna · Nov 6, 2015

Yazhlini, I see a lot of positives in your kid and very less red flags. Keep practicing what you are doing now and there will be some change in her for sure but not quick progress though. Forget about the autism spectrum for sometime. Give her speech and OT, even kids not under spectrum get free Speech and OT because of developmental delay. Just get all the referrals from your deve pediatrician and you will not need to pay for it. I know some people here in US who have got all the necessary therapies for their kids without diagnosis.

I have a 2 year old who recently diagnosed with High functioning Autism and he is not doing half of what your daughter is doing now. He is very good in cognitive skills and motor skills but his language and social comm are of 1 year old level. He knows numbers, alphabets, shapes, colors and imitating rhymes but no interaction with other kids at school or does not maintain friendly behavior with therapist but he is so affectionate with me and his dad. Does not respond to his name sometimes and he has lots of behavioral issues. As of now getting speech and OT and going to preschool.

Its good you are in India now, she will get lots of exposure.