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Confused Abt 2nd Baby

Discussion in 'Fertility & Trying to Conceive' started by mysticdiva, Feb 22, 2018.

  1. mysticdiva

    mysticdiva Silver IL'ite

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    Hello mommies!!
    I dont know if this is the right place to post this query.
    Abt me-I am married,36yrs old with a girl kid who is 7.5 yrs old.I was pregnant few months bk(accidental)with 2nd one and i had a m/c.When i was pregnant,i had lots of confusion about keeping the baby and now that i lost it,i miss being pregnant.So i decided with a fresh mind I will try again.
    Now when i was discussing abt trying for 2nd with a colleague(she doesnt know abt the m/c), she outright said its too late(my age and kids age).
    I felt very bad and I know she is no one to say what is right or wrong.But i need some re assurance.Are there old moms in this grp or who had 2nd baby after a long gap with the 1st.Can you pls share ur experience and how you managed.I need some positive thoughts before i try again.thanks so much.
     
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  2. ashneys

    ashneys Platinum IL'ite

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    My mil got pregnant with her second child when she was 38, her older one was 13 at that time.

    I know many people who had all their kids in their mid n late 30s only as they got married during their early 30s.

    I read actor Akshay Kumar's 1st n 2nd child has 10 years of age difference, just as a famous example.

    I know a 40 year old woman who wants to get pregnant with her second child, her older one is about 10-12 I guess, this is in India.

    I don't believe age is a big factor these days as long as you have good health. Because it really doesn't guarantee much as many younger aged women suffer due to fertility issues.

    So as long as you are healthy, n mentally ready n 'you n your dh really want another baby', then just go for it.
     
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  3. mysticdiva

    mysticdiva Silver IL'ite

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    Thank you so much for taking time to reply...everything you say makes sense...as long as dh and me are ready,there is nothing else that should matter.
     
  4. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Gold IL'ite

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    My relative had her second baby at 35.. With many years age diff between first and second kid..my neighbour had her first kid at 32-33 and second one a few years after..a friend's friend had her baby, not sure first or second, close to 40..a colleague of mine senior to me, already had a 8-9 yrs old kid, his wife delivered second child also, but after taking many precautions like bed rest n all.and in all cases the kids are healthy and naughty...but these are just examples and every woman's body and genetic makeup is different.
    IMO your gynaec is the best one to advice you , taking your medical history into consideration..apart from being financially and emotionally prepared, your general and reproductive health should be good before you proceed.
     
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  5. Sangeeta85

    Sangeeta85 Gold IL'ite

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    I can understand your thoughts but it's also true that as u get older the preg can get complicated.. at the same time if u keep ur self health then nothing can go wrong ... u r working women u have to manage all so think abt all..

    Yes ppl do say it's too much of age gap but if u want one then don't bother what they say.. mine is same age as ur kid I think the same too much age gap ,and my health does not permit..
     
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  6. aspha

    aspha Gold IL'ite

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    Mommy to baby#2 at 37. I had my first at 33. I think you are as old as you think.
    If you are healthy, your DH is healthy I don't see any issue.
    There can be complications. But then there are doctors to treat. If you have help and funds go for it. Plus your older kid is young enough to understand basic things. She will enjoy being a big sister if you make her part of this process.
     
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  7. mysticdiva

    mysticdiva Silver IL'ite

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    Thanks ladies for ur feedback.I feel much better knowing that it is all up to us and age and gap has nothing much to do....Yes we might not be following the society norms of early preg and kids with 2-3 yrs gap but we (my hubby and me)will do what is best for us.
    As this issue disturbed me today,my daughter while praying to god told me she prayed for a baby bro or sis.This was totally out of the blue.So i assume its a sign from god too
     
  8. peartree

    peartree Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi
    One of my friends had a baby recently, less than a month ago and her older child will be 8 in a couple of months. So it is not really that uncommon to have babies so far apart. Also, it is not like magically after 35 there is risk involved in the pregnancy not being viable enough or such complications.

    At this point, what you need to consider are things like if you are ready to go through the rigors of child birth/child rearing again,as definitely the energy and physical strength you had in your 20s is not what you have in your late 30s. Also, the financial aspects... your retirement likely gets pushed another 5-6 yrs if you do consider having another child.... not meaning to scare you or anything... just some practical pointers you should consider rather than having some random friend decide for you whether you should have another child or not.

    On the plus side, the bond between siblings is always special and your children will get to experience that! Good luck!
     
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  9. Sangeeta85

    Sangeeta85 Gold IL'ite

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    Ohh I swear my son 1week back did the same prayed for baby bro .. he says I will do this that .. I wish..
     
  10. athiivak

    athiivak New IL'ite

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    Please stay positive and good vibes always will help you. As per research women after 35 do have certain risk while conceiving however if you're healthy then only minor risk involved. Please consult your gynecologist to have clear picture about this matter. Am sure they will be able to advise on precautions and measures to take for conceiving.
    Good luck and may god bless you.
     

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