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Conditional Marriages- A Repost

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Agatha83, Jan 7, 2020.

  1. Agatha83

    Agatha83 IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear @ragzz,

    Both guys and girls have a lot of expectations when it comes to marriage, while in reality life is like playing a game of cards, where we have to deal only with those cards in our hands. There are many challenges a couple have to undergo after marriage, so they should look at a marriage as a life long commitment, with shades of joy and sadness here and there, rather than a one time achievement!

    Agatha83
    ,
     
  2. Agatha83

    Agatha83 IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear@Roar,

    I am happy you have raised a very valid point here, one about which nobody has talked here in their FBs. Yes, there are many marriages still going on, where serious medical conditions are hidden both about the girl and the guy. It’s not only diabetes, but serious issues like HIV Aids, epilepsy, mental disorders- issues which poses a severe threat to the institution of marriage. It’s a crime to hide health issues and parents deserve utmost punishment.

    Agatha83
     
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  3. Agatha83

    Agatha83 IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Rihana,

    Thank you for your very thoughtful feedback, where you have made many points left out by me in my write up, very clear with your impressive writing. Nothing to add more than what you have written here.
    As we grow old we have to deal with dentures, cataract, host of ailments that come along with old age and it is during those times that we need a sharing and caring hand to hold on. Romance takes a back seat, and empathy for one another is a successful mantra for a stable marriage.

    Agatha83
     
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  4. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Agatha,

    You are right about the present day brides being extraordinary and brilliant and I don't necessarily disagree with most of what you have written in your snippet. I wasn't necessarily talking about only the bride when I mentioned those five points. I was rather talking about the exceptions in my response which are rare but still exist. I know each one of these situations.

    1) I came across a wedding arrangement through online site where the bride made it clear that she doesn't want to deal with MIL and FIL (described by the bride as "Raghu" and "Kedu"). Knowing this request, bridegroom decided to walk away but his parents convinced the bridegroom to get married stating that they could look after themselves. Probably, they were desperate to get their son married. Within 30 days, bridegroom's father got sick and he was forced to attend to him for 60 days resulting in the marriage being terminated by the bride.

    2) A bride who is well-educated/well-employed wanted to make sure she marries a person that is acceptable to her parents. The parents suggested to her that she should choose a person of her choice. Eventually, she found one that is suitable to her but the bridegroom suggested that she shouldn't pursue her career. Because this particular bridegroom was liked by her parents, she decided to marry him. But after her marriage, she got frustrated as a stay at home wife and requested her husband to let her go to work which he refused. She walked away from the wedding to pursue her career. When @Rihana mentioned about people could change their minds, this incident came to my mind.

    3) A greedy family, having educated their son well and him being well-employed, decided to demand a great deal of benefits to get their son married to a particular bride whose family is very wealthy. The bride being the only child, the parents decided to do everything asked by the bridegroom's family. When the bride vehemently objected to the marriage, her parents thought she was objecting because she is too considerate to her parents. However, she didn't want to lead a life with a man who is so demanding. The couple couldn't stand each other even for six months and they are already separated (Arranged marriages still happen).

    4) The bride in this case is a daughter of a billionaire. She fell in love with her classmate while doing her education in a top University in the US. They traveled together overseas as part of their educational curriculum. Seeing their compatibility, the billionaire decided to get her daughter married to her classmate. After marriage, the husband started leading a luxurious life and wanted to build a business using the financial resources of his wife's parents. They were also ready to oblige but the daughter stood her ground strongly stating that they need to be on their own. This friction ended their marriage and now the daughter is looking after her parents business after divorcing her husband.

    5) My family friend's son who is well-educated and well-employed in the US decided to marry a bride from India. He is a citizen of the US. He and his family found a suitable bride who is a physician. She always had a dream to do her specialty in the US and had already finished her all exams to come to the US. Both families thought it is win win and they got married. Her green card was processed immediately and all her educational expenses were met by the husband. She had to do her specialty in a different city while the bridegroom was employed in a different city. They stayed that way for 3 years but regularly met each other. Immediately after she finished her specialty and got employed, she divorced her husband stating that they have compatibility issue.
     
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  5. Agatha83

    Agatha83 IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Viswa,

    You have clearly backed up all your points you have mentioned in your previous FB with solid details. I have nothing to say about such women who seem to be extremely ambitious, ruthless and inconsiderate when they want to achieve the things they desire in life.
    Thanks for the wonderful clarification , about issues which I was not aware of till now.

    Agatha83
     
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  6. ragzz

    ragzz Silver IL'ite

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    @Agatha83 and @Viswamitra
    just adding this to the thread (13 mins)

    One of the comments said:
    10.55 in video
    “you talk about equality, right?
    then just be it”

    There are other youtube comments in comments section , but overall yea anyone can go “one up” on conditions.

    Wiser would be to understand that its better to stay single unless you want to get into a marriage for the right fundamental reasons which hasnt changed all that much over decades.

     
    Last edited: Jan 10, 2020
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  7. Agatha83

    Agatha83 IL Hall of Fame

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    That was fantastic. A shocking reality with both girls and guys taking gender equality to weird levels. Thanks for sharing.

    Agatha83
     
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  8. ragzz

    ragzz Silver IL'ite

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    Agreed
     
  9. Roar

    Roar Gold IL'ite

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    It isnt an issue for the people who are not in it but its a whole life of hell for the people who are in it. For no fault of theirs!

    People around the world with same conditions are getting married fair and square. Wether they are living together until death is another issue , some actually do it neatly and some dont. But atleast they have had the balls to put the issue on the table. It IS the norm.

    In our culture, if that happens the side will be given Bharat Ratna as it it NOT the norm.

    The girls side do it because they believed girl should be married off and its very very difficult in India to get a genuine yes with issues. The boys side do it because well, wouldnt the other party ask for a discount or cut the price tag off totally if the groom had issues?... fear of returns.
    No consent...just lie. There has been an idion too 'lie a 100 for 1 marriage'... really:shakehead:

    This is how marriages are done...its like a new low we have gotten over the years.

    So now the burden is on the other person, whether she/he will find a way to accept and live or create a 'return' policy. We cant blame them for the later can we. They were dragged into the 'game' and now they are making the game fair now.Power to them!
     
    Last edited: Jan 10, 2020
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  10. Roar

    Roar Gold IL'ite

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    When exit has been planned before entry.

    And they thought there were no sour grapes in India and no good grapes outside India...Pfft.
     

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