Compliments

[JUSTIFY]
We are human beings and hence we always look for compliments from other fellow beings. Some get very excited when they are complimented for their dress sense, physical appearance and personal hygiene when others get very excited when they are complimented for their intelligence, special skills and quick grasping ability. As long as it is truly coming from the heart of others, these compliments mean a lot to the recipients. However, if it is used as a tactics to please others, it is not only inappropriate but also undesirable.

It is always difficult to find out whether a person is using it as a tool to get something done from the person who is complimented. Mostly, such compliments are preceded or succeeded with a favor, it is easier for us to understand that those compliments are intended for that purpose. Generally, when the compliments are received from someone we have never met or not familiar with in person, it means they are genuinely complimenting us.

Recently, I had a chance to meet with a friend of mine after 30 years during my trip to Chennai. As soon as he came into the house, he described every change in my physical appearance. He said my trademark mustache and thick eyewear were missing. He also explained to me that I had put on a lot of weight. All of his comments were genuine as I knew him very well. I explained to him that facial hair is not much appreciated in America. In addition, I explained to him that I had a Lasik vision correction in 2008 and removed my eyewear. I told him that my weight has been a major problem for so many years and I am making sincere effort to reduce my weight.

We had a lot of discussion for nearly two hours. We exchanged contact information of each other. When he left, he gave the best compliment that I cherished so much. He told me, “You are the same person I spend a lot of time with when you were young.” This friend is a very simple person and he has no axe to grind. His compliment made me think a lot. All of us educate, pursue career, get married, raise children, build outstanding friendships, etc. throughout our life. We interact with new people at each stage of our life. We learn new things, we make progress in life and our social and economic status changes over a period of time.

My closest relative who is of my age spent considerable amount of time together at our young age. While I pursued my career to become a Chartered Accountant, he pursued his career in the film industry. He became a director in Tamil film industry and now he is a comedian as well. I have lost contact with him as he made progress in the film industry. Recently, his brother gave me his mobile phone number and I decided to call him to reestablish contact. Even though our conversation was after nearly 30 years, he showed no excitement in his conversation and tried to conclude the conversation as quickly as possible. I easily came to the conclusion that he did not bother to reestablish contact with me.

This incident made me realize that it is much more important to remain the same person no matter how much we grow in our life. I will continue to cherish the invaluable compliment I received from my friend.
[/JUSTIFY]

 

Dear Sudha,

Thank you for your first response to this blog. You are right on the money with regard who we long to build relationship always walk away. The best is to remain who we are throughout our life. Let everything change around us and we can remain the person we are always.

Viswa