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Compliment Is A Tonic

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by iyerviji, Aug 21, 2019.

  1. iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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    Glad my post brought smile on your face. Thanks for your compliments
     
  2. iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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    Glad without seeing me you say I am sweet and beautiful person. Thanks dear.
     
  3. iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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    Glad to know this is the most sweet post in IL , feel very happy to hear that.I feel humbled with your sweet message. Don't know whether I am worthy of such nice compliments. You made my day with your compliments dear. Love and hugs to you
     
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  4. iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks for your detailed feedback. Glad to know about the compliments you received. Ya the comolicompl received here has made me feel happy . Thanks for your compliments.
     
  5. iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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  6. jayasala42

    jayasala42 Finest Post Winner

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    Dear Viji,

    I liked your innocence in expressing happiness over receiving compliment.A nice essay by Viji as ever.
    There is no one in the world who does not like compliments.We just love being told that we are the best in some field or the other.

    I am reminded of Bhoja Champu.King Bhoja wanted Kalidasa to compose elegy in praise of him.Normally elegy is composed only after one's death. Bhoja had a curse that if he happened to listen to the elegy he would die immediately.Knowing about this curse ,Kalidasa refused to compose elegy.The king banished him.After 5 or 6 years Kalidasa came back as a mendicant. King was in disguise.He could recognize kalidasa.The king told that Bhoja had died a few days ago. Kalidasa, without knowing that it was the king, believed his words.Tears rolled from his eyes as he heard of Bhoja's death and immediately an elegy was composed by him. But due to the effect of the curse the king died immediately. With Kali Matha's grace, the king was spared 90 minutes to live.It is during this period without wasting a minute Bhoja and kalidasa jointly composed a kavya ,a Champu, a classic , a ramayana in Champu style combined in prose and poetry.That is popularly known as Bhoja Champu-caused by 'compliment'.

    For elaboration you may read
    Funeral Fun and a wonderful Kavya, a snippet written on 1st June 2015

    History is full of stories about kings who hired professionals whose only job was to compose pieces filled with praises of their kings.

    There is a marked difference between flattery and compliment, the former is not genuine and has a personal interest vested in it while the later is a genuine expression of admiration.
    All may not be carried away by compliments.People with low esteem or even scholars may mistake the compliments as mockery and there is every possibility of spoiling the relationship and cause distrust.
    Compliments can make one feel uncomfortable , if the words one hears don't line up with the way he/she sees him/herself.
    Sometimes compliments, instead of being an encouragement may put one under lot of pressure.
    If compliments are given at frequent intervals, it may amount to flattery and it may give irritation.
    What psychologists feel is though compliment may be encouraging, it should be sparingly used to make it effective.
    jayasala42
     
    iyerviji, Afresh, anika987 and 2 others like this.
  7. joylokhi

    joylokhi Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear jayasala maam,
    what a wonderful response .! very interesting to read of KIng Bhoja and the result of the compliment. As u say, History is full of stories in this connection, and u seem to be a treasure house of anecdotes for any situation. So heres complimenting you here:) and this is a genuine one too!
     
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  8. jayasala42

    jayasala42 Finest Post Winner

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    Dear Joylokhi,
    Just I thought of it when Viji wrote about compliments. Of Course Compliment to Bhoja was an elegy to be composed after one's death. As kalidasa had Kalimatha's grace, whatever he said would become true at once. King Bhoja lied about his own death just to listen to compliments by Kalidasa and it resulted in the inevitable.
    Bhoja Champu is famous in Andhra Pradesh and is popular as a stage play."The work is a beautiful work. The anecdote remains prevalent. But whether Kalidasa lived at the time of King Bhoja and whether the work is a combined creation of Bhoja and kalidasa or was by some anonymous good author and just to make the work popular whether he used Kalidasa's name-This has been a subject of research even now and no decision has been arrived at. I wrote the response based on popular anecdote.

    Any way thank you for the genuine compliment.
    jayasala 42
     
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  9. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Vijiakka,

    I was like you when I was young. Being the second child, I was bench-marked against the first. I ended up staying in a place where the environment was very hostile to my family and myself. Somehow, I began to question my strengths and began to feel inferior. Even a small words of appreciation from someone is like a lottery won by me. I ended up doing things that would make everyone notice me. I used to always try to demonstrate my verbal strength seeking appreciation from everyone.

    It drained me completely at some point and I realized that it is because of the inferior feeling I carry in my heart. That is when a book I read opened my eyes and I started realizing that what I do should make me feel good and not others. I realize we do need appreciation from time to time but our whole life should not depend on that. One should feel confident about oneself. I realized humility when someone appreciates me is essential to reduce the dominance of my mind.

    I agree with Smt. Jayasala that we need to differentiate between appreciation and flattery. Some in this world use flattery as a technique to get a favorable treatment despite their weaknesses. We need to guard ourselves from such people.

    I am sure you do a lot of things in your life that deserve complements and that is why you are getting used to such compliments. You are selfless in helping others and hence your humility in receiving compliments would help you remain selfless.
     
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  10. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Love your posts and I find your genuine and sweet!

    There is a proverb in Tamil..” A beautiful heart creates a young and beautiful face”

    You have a beautiful heart and no wonder you are younger than 71:)
     
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